THE DAY THE SUN OVERSLEPT

“Mawee!” Sibongile yelped loudly. “Mamaaaaaaaa! We are finished.”

The sound of a woman wailing in the cool morning hauled me out of deep sleep. Throwing the blankets off I strode to the window to see the cause of the trouble. Pulling aside the spotted curtains, I saw a woman slapping her head repeatedly and drumming the ground with her feet like a madwoman. Her bottom oscillated up and down like someone trying to drop it completely.

“What is it, Sibongile?” I shouted angrily through the window. The disturbance had galed me but as I watched the unedited video, my anger quickly thawed into a tug of laughter clawing at my heart. The video was so funny that rehearsals would have spoiled it in a sinful way.

My words sort of put some sense into her pencil-shaped head. Jerking her head to look at me, she threw the dark Brazilian hair into a swirl. Her eyes had widened as if she had seen a ghost. 

My shouting made her run into the house at terrific speed. All the time swinging her startled face from side to sid, she kept pointing to the west with a red lacquered finger.

“Boss! We have trouble coming,” she howled in a hoarse voice like a cow that had a plastic blockage in the throat.

Howling my name as if I had all the answers, Sibongile jerked the bedroom door open and entered without a slight hesitation. Before I could understand the implications of her being in my bedroom, she threw her arms around me and buried her face in my bare chest. She was cowering like a child in a mother's arms.

I was still in my birthday suit, a black pant slightly attempted to modify my state towards decency. It was a woeful flop.

Sibongile trembled violently and hot tears poured out of her wide white-balled eyes. The big pupils trembling with fear made her look as beautiful as what Oprah Winfrey might have looked at twenty- five.

 “Look, let me dress up,” I tried to push her away with my hands through my treacherous heart was counseling something else.

“No, don’t push me, Boss,” she howled, “I don’t want to be left alone. It is terrible.”

Her trembling arms gripped me a bit more firmly, encircling my body as if she wanted to fuse our two bodies into one. This proximity would ultimately cause a situation. Immediately, blue juices started cooking in my system throwing my thinking process into a cataclysmic crash. My breathing became a galloping pulse while the body temperature was busy climbing to the fifties.

“I don’t seem to understand what has alarmed you so much,” I tried to reason with my housemaid in a husky voice; a mating frog would have done much better. My hands abandoned the pushing; one was treacherously leaning on her shoulders. Never mind what the other was doing sailing an inch away from the cucumbers with hard dark strawberries.

“The sun, the sun….,” her shaking mouth uttered the words like a child learning how to talk. Maybe the act of mentioning the sun was too much, she collapsed and fainted. Suddenly, there was a woman in my arms.

What a mess? I was completely naked in my bedroom, with a hot scantily dressed woman spreadeagled on the floor. The yellow skirt curved upwards in her fall. Luscious man-eating thighs, in a brown coat, tugged at my heart with an irresistible pull.

Reluctantly, I held Sibongile on the chest, bringing my arms to engulf her just below the armpits and dragged her to the bed. As we struggled to move, my knee accidentally prodded the space between her legs drawing a dangerous blue fire. The fire raced through my veins and completely changed my perceptions as I laid her gently on my bed. Suddenly, I became aware that Sibongile was a woman with all the endowments; not just a paycheck hunting maid.

“Sibong….ile...know what..? My thought process went haywire and some aphrodisiac started pouring into my system, I lost control of everything in a cruel demanding manner. But as I debated on what to do with the girl, the chuckling hens outside brought me back to my senses.

That created a terrible debate, banging Sibongile who was in a state of comatose or checking on the squawking chickens.

“Crackle! Kuh! “Crackle!” the disorganized noise drilled into the pores of my skin like cold water, going up to the bone. The chilling sensation was too ghastly to be ignored, throwing my mind into a turmoil. What should I do? What should I deal with first?

However, one last look at the skirt created hesitancy in my heart. An expectancy sprung up in the system, it gripped me with tension. Inevitably a desire was instigated towards the failings of all men; the sweetness of banging a woman. Forget about those stupid chickens, who cares about chickens when a woman nearby is sending an adrenaline surge to a choking point? A woman in desperate need of ‘help’. The two situations don’t compare. I quelled my fears and went for the woman.

Quickly, I started pulling off her skirt. There was nothing to pull off at all; the whole thing just came off easily at the slightest tug. The sight of the uncovered thighs pushed my cobra to the limit. It started galloping madly and in no time it had stabbed a way out of my pant even before my hands could offer help equally,. my mouth inconveniently started uttering “iyaayaayaaa! Sounds and loads of saliva dripped on the girl’s chest making a little puddle. My hurried approach caused more delay; the shaking hands needed extra time to just open the legs.

However, just when my shaking fingers managed to spread the legs apart, a sound from outside gripped my heart with terrible fear. My hands froze; no everything froze completely, time came to a standstill.

My dog, Queen, was galloping about and barking as if she was fighting some dangerous intruder. The dreadful barking permeated my skin like a doctor’s hypodermic syringe and doused the blue fire in my veins. I left the woman on the bed and quickly dressed up before dashing outside to deal with whatever was making the dog bark so furiously.

I did not even reach outside before something convinced me that all was not well. It was morning but the rays of the sun were streaming through the door, from the west. Majestically, like a Ronaldo shot, the hot ball of fire was shamelessly curving its way upwards in the sky, but in the wrong direction.

The discovery crippled my thinking process, wiping off all the concerns about any barking dog. I checked whether my mental compass was working well. I had just woken up from bed completely sober, therefore beer was not to blame either. Then, it dawned on me; ‘no wonder Sibongile had such a terrible fright,’ I thought as the fear claimed my soul as well. That day was strange.

  I was to discover later that the sun would not be the only strange phenomenon to cause me havoc that day.

Suddenly, I could understand the language the barking dog was using in it's barking. “It is not my children, No! No! Go away! It is those human beings..."

A small puppy yelped from the pen "what is it, mummy?"

"Check what these humans have done for some cheap gain?" the huge bitch twisted its neck to answer back to the puppy. " They have forced the sun to change direction just like that.”

“Mama, I saw that man kissing the ground while facing the east and when I tried to touch him he hit me with a stick,” the small puppy was now reporting my violence against it the other day. It disturbed my regular prayers.

“Yes even me,” another tiny puppy turned it's long jaw upwards to blast the humans. “I was trying to eat the food from the bottom of that small baby, Mable. That man with an ugly face hit me with a stick. I almost died.”

"I am going into that house to deal with that stupid man today...."I was shocked.

I had to hide from my own dogs for fear of what they would do to me. Where I should have a friend, a sly enemy was castigating me. Sadly, I stole my way to the poultry.

There, I found all the chickens huddled in some kind of heated debate. The exchanges baffled me.“Tuck! Tuck! Tuck! The cock went about, telling his numerous concubines. The red pall of flesh on his head danced wildly, chuckles pouring out in anger; “These humans have gone too far this time. The cunning devils want to inconvenience everyone, ha!.”

“But why should it be them doing that?”Mother Hen clucked back in surprise. “Not the same humans who throw grains to my chicks every day; I don’t think they are all that bad.” She came close to rub her beak on the bright colored wattle in a peacemaking gesture.

“Kuh! kuh!kuh!” the cock cackled angrily in rebuke. “Has he bewitched you, stupid woman? Praising the same thug stealing all the eggs you lay, is that it?”

“Oh foolish me,” Hen changed instantly and purred angrily this time, “Terribly sorry, I forgot about that nasty mischief.”

“He is lazy and cruel,” Rooster trilled in a conversational style. "why can't he lay his own eggs if he wants them that much?"

“I hate him so much, "that was a small Cockrel. "he killed my aunt when that stupid visitor came. Imagine killing her with such hideous cruelty that one is left to wonder whether he has a heart at all."

"What a useless man?" another hen purred, "as if the foolish visitor had come to see any of us.”

“Whoa! Whoa!” all the other chickens clucked in disgust. It became clear that the sun was not the only problem I would have to contend with that day.

Just before I could sneak back the way I came, a small chick spotted me. It quickly let out an ear-piercing distress squawk that startled all the chickens.

Led by Rooster, all the feathers advanced towards me with wings spread out and beaks standing out like in real combat. Their eyes had an angry, determined look.

"See even the earth has rejected you, "Rooster was saying as he advanced barely touching the ground. "To be warned by the sun, get lost, you terrible creature!"

This was worse than seeing a sun curving its way eastwards, I quickly retraced my steps and escaped back into the house, locking the door behind me.

In the house, I found some commercial playing on the TV. I ignored it but a minute later a huge Amen! forced me to watch the screen. A pastor zoomed on the screen beaming a fake smile. Probing under the face fungus, I could detect real hunger for money on the man. He was saying gibberish but the piece that made sense was one where he was claiming credit for reversing the direction of the sun.

“My prayers are great, see?” he was saying into the camera.” the dead rise, the sick are healed and now I have commanded the sun to change its wicked behavior of rising from the east. Want success? sow a seed in my church.” What rubbish?

Just after the pastor, a politician came on also speaking hogwash; "Countrymen, even the sun has rejected this man?" he was saying. " This is a sign that I must win the elections. Don't I come from the west?"

I sneaked out of my house hoping to see what my neighbors were going through. When I reached the road junction next to Hakaloba Dam, I found Lion had assembled all the other animals in the open expanse. They were squatting respectfully like people attending a political rally, he was holding forth.

“I called this meeting so that we animals can reconcile,” his paw was combing the mane. “All of us have been greatly inconvenienced by these human beings….”

“King!” an urgent hoof shot out from his left.

“Yes comrade Zebra,” he acknowledged the hoof

“I am convinced the humans have caused this inconvenience,” he paused to chew the cud.”Look at all the tall mountains he is constructing, maybe the innocent sun is trying to avoid hitting into one of those.”

“Hia! Hia! Hia! Hia!”A lot of animals shouted in support. However, Hyena's grumbling belly almost forced him to make a terrible mistake. He needed a stronger restraint to prevent him from springing on the delicious steak hiding under the striped coat of Zebra.

“Yes! Yes! And all those giant houses he is flying in the sky,” he tried to say something just as a way of destructing his mind. “I don’t blame the sun; maybe he is just avoiding a collision with such obstacles in his path.”

The meeting almost degenerated into chaos when Lion yawned hungrily, peeling off the skin his teeth. His prey panicked at the sight of the horrible canines shining in the early morning light.

"Why did I even come here?" Impala whispered to Antelope. "With all these deadly predators around one never knows when he can be torn to pieces."

"Don't worry, "Antelope tried to assure the friend but his voice was shaking badly. "King Lion will protect us, I am sure of that."

"I wish I did not come here," Impala continued, "Look at all those hungry eyes trained on us, they are very scary."

"Things have changed, Impala, "Antelope warned the friend. And then without warning, he galloped to the floor, threw himself on the ground in obeisance, and shouted; “Long live King! Long live King!”

“Yes, co..mrade An..te..lope,” Lion glared at the new speaker with saliva drenching his mane. His speech was disturbed greatly by the sudden urge to sink his teeth into that flesh. Why did I call all this meat to torture myself like this?

“Maybe the human beings are not wholly to blame,” Antelope started saying putting on some dutch courage. “I think some of us animals are also guilty of spilling too much blood…..”

“Nonsense! Nonsense!” the dam echoed to a thunderous objection; the carnivores were incensed. Hyena could not control his appetite anymore, he sprung on Antelope's neck started tearing the delicious flesh.

“Hyena stop that stupid thing now!” Lion shouted angrily, but saliva was dripping from his open mouth, drenching the mane. The scavenger retreated shamefully while licking his lips. The injury left Antelope bleeding fatally around the neck. ”Antelope, my son, come and sit here, next to me, where no one may touch you.”

As Antelope wobbled towards the high seat, it was clear he could drop dead at any moment, Lion glared at him with an open mouth. "Ahaaaaaa!After this meeting, I will have my dinner," he whispered to himself.

I must have stepped on a leaf that squeaked, a little rabbit saw me. It opened it's mouth to bleat a warning to others.

"Humans are here!" it howled. I just managed to squeeze through a space between Elephant and Buffalo mainly because they were in a heated discussion.

"Hyena must be punished if this reconciliation between animals is to make sense," Elephant flapped his wide ears.

"Yes, you are very right, neighbor," Buffalo was saying. "but I fear for Antelope, seated right in the mouth of Lio..."

"Today, we must attack all human beings...."Lion was concluding the meeting.

I was so scared that my legs deserve a prize for their speed that day.

However, later that day I realized my running was mostly in vain. As soon as I sneaked through Elephant's legs, the meeting exploded into a cyclone of confusion. The carnivores had no interest in my scanty flesh, they attacked their prey mercilessly. There was no one to defend anyone; Lion was busy filling his belly with Antelope.

Since everything was going in reverse, I thought it wouldn't matter if my relationship with Sibongile was rearranged into a more meaningful one.

"You gave me a fright," I said when everything had come back to normal. She was in my arms and the time did not really matter.

"Don't tell me you fell for that little game," she said making me wonder whether Sibongile was the greatest actress yet to be spotted by Holywood. "Nothing was wrong with the sun, I fed you with .......