Kilana's Disciple

Submitted into Contest #83 in response to: Write a fantasy story about water gods or spirits.... view prompt

3 comments

Fantasy Fiction

         “Please help us, O Kilana. They are killing us. Please, please help!”

         Yara knelt at the edge of the pool and prayed. She had escaped from the village when the attack occurred and found her way to the once-sacred pool. The temple building had fallen into disarray and the pool was overgrown with lilypads and weeds, but still she begged the goddess for mercy and aid.

         “I know the village has turned away from you, but my grandmother and I still honor you. You are the goddess of our hearts. Please help us!”

         As she knelt by the pool, she saw a small ripple appear in the center. It moved slowly toward her, then stopped about six feet away. The ripple increased in strength and the figure of a woman appeared above it. She was the color of the water and Yara could see through her shimmering form. The figure looked at her for a moment, then spoke.

         “Child, I am aware of your devotion and that of your grandmother as well. I will grant you a boon. Speak your desire.”

         Yara’s eyes were wide. “O Kilana, our village has been attacked. Strangers have invaded us. They’re killing anyone who resists and taking everyone else as slaves. Please stop them.”

         Kilana was quiet for a moment. “You ask much for a village that has abandoned me, child.”

         “I will tell them of you and they will return and rebuild your temple.”

         Kilana smiled. “You have a good heart, Yara. I do not need the temple – that was for the people. I simply ask to be remembered.” She paused for a moment in thought, then said, “Come into the water up to your knees, Yara, and listen.”

         Yara scrambled to her feet and entered the pool. When the water level was at her knees, Kilana bent and whispered into her ear for several moments. She then straightened and looked at Yara.

         “This is a heavy burden you have taken upon yourself, child. Are you sure?”

         Yara bent her head for a moment, then looked up into the goddess’s eyes. “I am sure, O Kilana, and I thank you for your help.” The goddess nodded and then collapsed back into the pool. Yara walked back out and returned to the village.

         When she arrived, the invaders were carousing about a large bonfire. The surviving villagers were tied together in a coffle and guarded by some of the warriors. She watched for a moment until she saw who was the chief, then walked out of the bushes and straight up to him.

         “Take your men and leave our village. Do it now,”

         The warrior looked at her in astonishment, then roared with laughter. “Do you hear this, men? This little bit of a girl has just ordered us to leave. Can you believe this?” He looked at her and said, “We are the conquerors. We own you people and YOU WILL NOT SPEAK TO ME IN THAT MANNER! “

         He gestured to his men. “Take her and use her for your pleasure, then kill her.”

         As the men started toward her, Yara lifted her hands. "STOP!" As she spoke, her hands began to glow with a bluish sheen, like water. The men stopped with stunned looks on their faces.

“You have a cold heart, chief. May you enjoy the benefits of it.” She muttered the words that Kilana had taught her and the blue glow jumped from her hands to the chief's chest. The chief screamed in agony and fell dead in front of her. She looked at the men and said, “Do you wish to suffer his fate? Leave now or die.” She raised her hands and again they began to glow blue.

         The men looked at her, then turned and ran into the forest. The glow subsided from her hands. She knelt by the chief’s body and took his knife, then began cutting the survivors loose. When she freed her grandmother, she began to sob. “Grandmother, I am so sorry that I was not able to save the others.”

         Her grandmother held her close and whispered, “I felt the power. You went to Kilana, didn’t you?” Yara nodded. “You are my brave child, Yara. You did the right thing. Mourn the ones that died, but rejoice in the ones that you saved.”

         One of the villagers was examining the body of the dead chief. “He is cold. It feels like he froze to death.”

         Yara turned to him and said, “Kilana saved us, Felson. Her power is that of water and she granted me some of her power. I used it to freeze the water in his body. I could have done that to all of them but having them spread the story of how he died will be more effective at preventing further attacks than if we had been a plague village.”

         Felson asked, “Are you our new leader? We have never had a woman lead us before.”

         Yara smiled and said, “No. I will be happy to assist whoever is chosen to be leader. But I am going to go live at Kilana’s pool and rebuild her temple. I would appreciate any help that people wish to give. And we need to thank Kilana every single day for our deliverance.”

         Her grandmother stepped forward. “I will come with you, Yara, and help rebuild the temple as well. And every stone that I lay will be a prayer of thanks to Kilana.”

         The two of them salvaged what clothing and supplies they could from their hut. They travelled back to the pool and built a shelter for the night.

         The next morning, they arose and stood at the edge of the pool. Closing their eyes, they gave silent thanks to the strange water goddess. After breakfast, Yara and her grandmother began cleaning out the temple. A few hours passed when suddenly they heard voices and approaching footsteps. They went out to see the entire village approaching the pool with Felson in the lead. He stopped before them.

         “The villagers chose me to be headman. I felt it only appropriate that we move the village here to the pool. We will help you rebuild the temple. You will be Kilana’s voice to us and we will remember her ways.”

         Yara smiled and took his hands. “Thank you, Felson. I think you will be a good leader for our people.”

         Behind her, a small swirl appeared in the center of the pool, then disappeared, as if someone had smiled for a moment.

March 01, 2021 16:49

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3 comments

A.K. Truss
13:00 Mar 09, 2021

This was a great story! I've always enjoyed series such as Percy Jackson and this was a really good mythical story. It kept me reading to the end and had just the right amount of action. Feel free to check out my stories. :)

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Chuck Sears
20:49 Mar 09, 2021

Thank you very much! I am new to writing and I am finding that it is a LOT of fun!

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A.K. Truss
12:01 Mar 10, 2021

I'm pretty inexperienced so I'm not very good but I love to write too and I hope that I can get better on reedsy. :)

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