Future Mrs.

Before I introduce myself you must understand that I am a person that does not fit well in labelled boxes. I am neither pretty nor ugly. I do not seek attention, but I do not mind being the center of it either. Depending on how much ice cream I have had, I could either be very friendly and bubbly or very quiet and reserved. The list is endless, and to say I confuse my friends with the dichotomy of my personality is an understatement. Yet one thing I am unwavering on is my unbelief of anything not fully entrenched in the physical.

Thus it seemed strange that after all my years of doubt and mistrust towards anything even slightly indicative of faith; I’d be thanking God for the miracle that was occurring right before my eyes. Yet, I really could not pin this up as a coincidence. A series of bizarre least likely scenarios had led me into my very own miracle.

I was alone with Jude Baylor, and he was actually talking to me. Holy smokes (which sounds so contradicting, pretty sure the fire in hell is not holy), he’s talking to me. Oh my. Breathe, Lauren. You know how to do it. Have been doing it for all your life really. In and out. Yes, that’s it. In case your detective skills have failed you, let me clarify that Jude Baylor is the boy I will marry. Although he is yet to be made aware of this.

‘…and I’ll bring the plates in from outside, or we could do that together’ he muttered. ‘Together, we belong together’ I say like the idiot I have always secretly suspected that I am. I peek from underneath my lashes to what I imagine must be a look of horror on his face, only to find that I am alone in the room. Get me a bible and call me a pastor, truly there is a God. I hurry out to the backyard, sneakily checking my hair and lip-gloss in the hallway mirror.

As I step out to the backyard the amount of work that has to be done glares at me balefully, and I realize it will probably take all night to clean up as opposed to the few minutes, my best friend, Akosua insisted it will take when she begged me to stay behind and help clean up. Of course a family emergency conveniently reared its head at her boyfriend’s house and they just had to go. ‘Hey do you think we should just throw all the rubbish in the house out here and sleepover and then tackle this backyard in the morning when we have more hands’ I shouted to Jude who, God bless his cute butt, was standing helplessly in the middle of the backyard gazing at the chaos before him. Watching him in the garish glare of the party lights (Akosua had another thing coming if she thought I was going to shimmy up a ladder and tackle those) I could not decide what exactly it was about him that I adored so much. ‘I think that is a wonderful idea’ he chuckled ‘and also the first full sentence you have spoken in my presence’. This was my chance to be cute and flirty and reel this fish in! So of course I reply with ‘when I’m around you I can’t decide on kissing you or just listening to your voice, it doesn’t leave much room for speaking’. Ladies and gentlemen at this juncture I must properly introduce you to yours truly Auntie Foot-in-her-mouth.

However I’m feeling pretty confident that my last sentence will be wiped from his memory because I’ve got heaven looking out for me tonight. Angels on call, so to speak. Not so. It seemed all the angels had given up on me, and truly I couldn’t blame them. My mind was seriously glitching and all attempts at cute had resulted in stupid one liners that I had read in a silly pickup book. While I waved a solemn goodbye to our 2.5 children that I had already named and our four bedroom house in Trassaco Valley, Jude was bent over laughing his ass off. (have I educated you on the cuteness of said bum? It truly cannot be overemphasized.)

‘Are you quoting from ‘How to make Ladies Swoon’’ he asked while chuckling. I urge you all, no matter whom you are or how your situation seems, to always have faith, and truly believe with all your being that there is a light at the end of that dark tunnel. The road may be rough, the journey tough (I can totally be a motivational speaker, don’t you think?) but you will get there. You will make it. All you have to do is believe. Because Holy Holy Holy, Jude Baylor read the stupid book too, and does not think I am a weird psycho who is laying it on thick.

Now I will not bore you with the details of how the cleanup for Akosua’s party ending up going. Suffice to say we managed to clear out a room (giggles foolishly) and the rest is history. I have to be at church in an hour and only took the time to write this out because I was extremely nervous and Akosua, bless her heart, could not take another minute of me complaining about all the things that could go wrong. So she suggested I journal. Also I think she was getting annoyed because whenever she says ‘it will all be fine’ I remind her that she said that before making me climb up the ladder to get to the party lights, and that situation did not end up being fine at all.

Ok. Now I really have to go. The wedding planner does not understand why I have decided to write in my journal at the risk of being late for my wedding. Honestly I think she’s miffed because I usually just agree to whatever she says, but I’m putting my foot down and insisting on finishing this journal entry before getting into my gown. My mom is having such fun witnessing another person’s confusion at my contrariness. I must admit I almost want to continue writing just to see if she will actually rip the book from my hand like she threatened to, but Jude is waiting for me and so adieu.

Yours truly,

MRS LAUREN BAYLOR.

(well I will be in a few hours anyway)