That Suits Me Just Fine

"Son, you have got to wear a suit."

"But, dad, I have only one suit and it does not fit anymore."

"Guess we'll just have to to find you a new one."

"Do we really have to?"

"Yes and now is just as good a time as any. Mom can watch your sister while us men shop. Boy, that sounded strange."

"You know I hate to go shopping."

"So put a clean shirt on and let's go get this over with."

Thirty minutes later father and son are in the Brooks Brothers store looking through the suit selection.

"Here's a nice one."

"Too preppy looking."

"How about this one?"

"Don't like the color."

The sales clerk makes his way over to help.

"You seem to be having some trouble making a selection. May I help?"

"Great. You're closer to my son's age. Maybe you are more hip than his old man."

"Be happy to help. Here's one that will help you look a bit taller...in case your date wears high heels."

"It's not a date. My cousin is getting married and I gotta usher."

"Well, did she specify a color scheme?"

"No, just said nothing flashy that would upstage the bride."

"I have some new arrivals in back. Let me see if there are any your size. Be right back."

"Here's a nice one, dad. If I gotta have one I think I like this one."

"I'll hold it but let's see what the salesman brings from the back."

"Can I try this one on while we wait?"

"Sure."

The salesman returns to see the boy in a suit.

"Is the wedding inside or outside? I hope it is inside should you go with that one."

"What do you mean?"

"That suit is made of a heavier fabric. In this July heat you will sweat so much it will act like a sauna. Don't think you need to lose any weight. Here. Try this one," and the salesman hands him a light tan suit.

Begrudgingly the boy takes yet another suit into the dressing room.

"You okay in there, son?"

Even the salesman is getting antsy.

The boy comes out looking puzzled.

"What is it?" asks the salesman.

"I kinda like this but the pantlegs are way too long."

The salesman lets out a light chuckle.

"This is a custom fit suit. I'll get you all measured and when out tailor gets back from lunch he will hem it proper. Have it ready for you by five."

The boy looks at his father.

"If you like that one, son, I guess we'll take it. Do I pay now or at five?"

"Preferably now. But if you would rather wait until you pick it up..."

"No, no. Now will be just fine."

The father pays and they leave only to return around five to pick up the suit.

The boy is a bit nervous as they arrive at the chapel. Immediately he feels silly when seven little girls half his age surround him, each trying to give him a hug.

"Mom!" he moans hoping she will see and shoo the little darlings away.

When two of the older girls approach him and at the same time say, "nice threads," he finds himself trying to stand taller. He feels a blush spreading across his face.

Then a couple of the ladies approached. He knew what was coming and he hated it every time.

When the first lady, a second or third cousin reaches him she leans over, pinches both of his cheeks and loud enough for everyone to hear says, "you look so yummy!" He could have crawled into a hole.

His mother finally comes to his rescue. "Let the boy breathe. Not sure we can find another usher on short notice."

"Thanks, mom."

"You do look pretty yummy."

"Oh, mom."

Moments later the ladies are called to the back and the doors are opened to allow the guests to be seated. Three other cousins his age served as ushers and once things got rolling it wasn't as bad as he expected.

The ceremony seems to drag and go on forever. He loosens his tie and wants to get out of the suit as soon as possible.

As soon as the ceremony ends he asks if he can run home and change since they lived just a few blocks away.

"Guess so but after all the pictures have been taken. Lot of these folks won't see you in a suit again until it's your wedding."

"Not getting married, mom."

Soon all the pictures seem to have been taken and the photographer says "that's a wrap", he hits the door and heads for home.

About a third of the way home, out of nowhere, in the middle of July, the biggest, wettest snowflakes he had ever seen began falling blizzard like. It brings people outside to see something they usually only see in the winter, many just to take advantage of the snow's cooling power from the July heat. It slows his walk enough that by the time he arrives home, all that wet heavy snow has him and his new suit soaked.

Rushing into the house he immediately takes off the suit and puts it into the dryer. After a quick hot shower he dresses to return but waits as the blizzard like July snow is still falling.

The ding of the dryer signals the cycle has ended. He goes to get the suit hoping that was enough time for it to dry. To his surprise, not only was it dry but it had obviously shrunk. His dad was going to kill him.

Finally, after after at least another thirty minutes the snow seems to subside. He gets on his bicycle and rushes back to the reception.

Quickly he finds his dad.

"Did you see that snowstorm?"

"Sure did. Don't ever remember seeing anything like that in the middle of summer. Did you make it home before it hit?"

"Not exactly.

Looking at the floor he was expecting to get yelled at but it did not come.

"Was about half way....and soaked by the time I got home. Dried the suit while I took a shower. Needless to say, when I took it out of the dryer I think it had shrunk."

He looks up to see his dad's reaction but his dad just seems to be pondering the situation.

"Well, guess we'll just have to take it back and get a refund."

"That suits me just fine."

So thanks to that sudden snowstorm in the middle of July, I never did own another suit until it was time for my wedding,

But that's another story.