A messy house

In my summer break, I went with my mother to stay with aunt Choti in Bicholim, a beach city in Goa's northern part. She had been posted there as a manager in one of the banks, and the first one in our close family to have moved so far. I arrived holding my mother's hand and a too big sack weighting on my shoulders. She lived in a modest one bedroom apartment above a meat shop, and to my delight, the beach was only a simple walk away. Aunt Choti was smiling cheerfully when we climbed up the stairs to their door. Though Aunt Choti was a little over 30, her face had only a few wrinkles. She had black curly hair and black eyes. She bent down and held my both arms and kissed me on both cheeks, "I've missed you so much laadli" Then she turned towards my mother whose face had little effect by greetings. My father and mother were going through an obvious divorce. So I was sent to stay with Aunt choti. I had no problem with this arrangement since I liked my aunt who was so different from my parents. We waved goodbye to my mother from the window.

Aunt choti asked me in a whisper, "Do you want to see a secret?"

"Yes" I said.

She took me by the hand and led me to a small bedroom, in which two oversized wardrobe stood next to a oversized bed. She opened the doors of one of them. It was head-to-toe filled with stuff, cloths, bags, cooking pot, bedsheets, mosquito killer.

"I had to shove everything in it so that your mom wouldn't get to see the mess house looked."

I said smiling up at her face, " Then you are like me. When I grow up I want to live alone so I can leave stuff wherever I want."

Aunt Choti asked, "Won't you miss your mother if you live alone?"

I said, "No. I can leave stuff wherever I want."

Aunt Choti seemed bemused but did not question my decision. She said, "Your uncle is not around much so you can have plenty of time alone."

Aunt Choti's office was in southern bound goa where she drove to every morning. Aunt would get up when it was still dark outside. Though I was given given another bedroom to sleep, I could still hear the sounds of her scurrying through the passage outside, water thrush as faucet was turned on and off and loud whistles of the rice cooker. One night I heard a woman's shouts. At first, I thought it was the cattles bellowing down the meat shop. But I recognized my aunt's voice bickering with a man. Then it grew to murmur. Was it my uncle? And sure enough, when I passed the next bedroom the next morning I saw a pot bellied man sleeping on mat in the golden sunlight. He wore short black pants and a white holed banyan. He could not have been much more than aunt choti but only a few strands of hair left on his head and the scubble on his chin was already turning white. Aunt smiled at me in the kitchen as if nothing happened in the night. I did not ask any questions and he went away briefly after waking up. After a few weeks, the stuff went back to it's original places, the way we wanted them. I had to first move around at least a few things to find the book I had bought with me lying beneath them. But there was some strange comfort in chaos. The warm air would blow in from the window, smelling of salted fish. I would sit in it reading a book and eat gallops of nutella after lunch. When Aunt Choti returned home that day, I asked her if we could go out on a picnic. She thought for a while and agreed to take me to the beach the next evening. The thought of beach exhilerated me. The next evening we went to the church first then aunt drove us to a quite beach, not the ones crowded by tourists. The sun had bowed down to allow the cold salty air sweep our faces and hands. The sea did not have many visitors but only a few local families and returning fishermen. The children played in the water as the men guided them. The ladies sat on newspapers(everyone in goa bought newspaper to sit on) and watched only from the shore, eating bhel and cotton candies. Aunt Choti took me by the hand and walked towards the water. We stood facing the goldening sun, the waves playing touch-and-run at our knees. I looked towards my aunt, her curly hair were dancing back and forth like a thousand head snake. She was smiling peacefully. I collected some sandy mud from beneath the water and threw it at aunt choti. She smiled heartily but said, "next time you do that, I'm gonna drown you in a feet deep water." That worked to quite my nerves. We splashed water at each other and laughed heartily.

Then she got up and said, "Come, I will teach you to swim."

I looked up at her, bemused, "Can girls swim?"

"They can swim as well as a boys." She said looking aloof, "I always wanted to have a girl to teach her to swim. You're like one to me."

"I am your girl" I said.

We stepped in chest deep waters, which almost came to my shoulders. I was scared of the waves pulling my legs back and forth, the sand beneath my feet sunk down with each wave. She took my hands in hers and instructed me in a soft voice. I let her hold my hands and put my head in the water. Magically, my legs buoyed up over the water, as long as I kept my head submerged in the sea. Slowly I started kicking my legs them up and down. And there with my hands led by aunt, head submerged in the water and legs in the air, I learned to swim. This activity tired us out, the salty water stinge our nose and eyes, but we still laughed and sang until the sky turned a purple grey. I ran after my aunt towards the car, wet cloths clinging to us left a dotted watery trail in the sand. The night sky had a brilliant starry trail of it's own. On our way back, a speeding car suddenly appeared in our side of the lane, it's frontlights lighting up our windowpanes, Both of ours hand went instinctively towards our chest pressing it hard, it rested at a few feet from our car with a screeching halt. Four young men in funky cloths got out from the opposite car and started apologizing, aunt choti was unforgiving, they were blinded by a headlight they said. Aunt was pointing towards me and waving her hand violently. I could not hear them but she seemed unforgiving and they were begging her for mercy. Finally after giving plenty of warnings, everyone sat back in their cars. Aunt Choti smiled reassuring, "It did not hit us after all. We are ok."

Next week, my mom came to pick me up. I came upstairs from packing the bags in the autorikshaw. I told aunt Choti, "I will come back again next year." She nodded, "Whenever you want to live alone for a while" I went to the car where my mom was waiting. As the car passed from the window of Aunt Choti, I waved my hand to her calling her out. Suddenly realizing that I did not want to live alone anymore.