Dawkins' Dance

Dawkins’ Dance

Cheryl Dawkins ran as fast as she could because right behind her was a T-Rex. And, it was very, very hungry.

“I can’t believe this is happening.”

She turned right down the jungle path and stopped on a dime. She tipped back and forth almost falling into the quicksand. She steadied herself.  

The ground shook. The T-Rex wasn’t that far away. It had the tracking sense of a thousand fox hounds.

“Okay, stay calm and do not panic. You can deal with this.”

The T-Rex stopped and moaned. That massive head with the long jaw and fiery, terrifying eyes peaked around the corner. 

Cheryl turned around slowly, eyes closed trying not to breathe.

The dinosaur had awful breath. She nearly puked. It slowly opens its jaws. She opened her eyes. There were like a thousand teeth. There really was nowhere to go. She climbed using a tooth as a foot pusher to land atop its head.

The T-Rex was understandably upset at something on top of his head. He roared and the whole jungle shook.

Cheryl slid held on for dear life. The T-Rex shook it’s head and still that thing was clinging tightly.

It roared some more. It shook that massive head back and forth, up and down and nothing worked.  

The T-Rex took off down the jungle path crushing whatever was in its path.

“Yee ha, ride em’ cowgirl.”

It stormed about and tried to fling her but she wouldn’t let go.

The T-Rex roared like a sore loser. It was losing this game.

It tried to rub her off his head against a tree. The clever girl saw her chance and moved out.

The T-Rex stood there and realized that it was off its head. He looked around, but Cheryl was long gone.

She had managed to get to another tree and had slid down and was running down a different path.

The T-Rex roared off looking for a new adventure.

Cheryl arrived at a clearing to catch her breath. The first one pounced behind her. She was too afraid to turn around. The second one landed on her left. The third appeared on the right. And, the leader, showed up right in front of her.

Velociraptors!

“That T-Rex is looking pretty good right now.”

There was nowhere to run. She pulled a knife from her boot.

“Okay, who gets sliced first?”

The leader jumped at her and she cut him hard. His head fell to the ground.

She jumped back like there was a spring attached to her boots.

One of them managed to bite her on the hand.

“Bastard.”

She swung the knife but it missed.

The thugs smelled the blood.

She kicked their dead leader at them and one of them ripped at it.

Slowly they backed her up into a brontosaurus. It looked at her curiously.  

She maneuvered to the back of it and then climbed up the tail and gave it a good whack.

The creature took off and the velociraptor attacked. The large Dino was’t in the mood to be bitten and tossed one away like it was a rag doll. It stomped on it and the others ran off.

The ride finished and she slid down like Fred Flinstone and landed in a mud hole.  

“Okay, that requires some practice.”

Then she moved on and was looking for the stone with the star on it.  

It was only some five hundred feet away when the spear nearly impaled her.  

“Oh, not them again.”

They were more tiresome than the juvenile boys at school when she had been a student.

Last time, Cheryl had narrowly escaped being thrown into the volcano. This tine, she had a little surprise for them.

In an instant, she was surrounded.

“Hello, boys.” She pulled out the home-made flare from the knapsack and lit it on fire.  

“Catch!”

They went spastic and she made her escape.  

She reached the dark star and put her hand on it perfectly aligning everything up.

The world started to swirl and it became a total blur. She couldn’t hang on and fell down.

When she got up, the dinosaurs and the jungle flora were gone.

It was replaced with a meadow and forest all around.

She looked around and something didn’t feel right. She touched her head and felt a hat. She took the hat off and it looked like something a witch would wear.

“There’s one of the heretics now.” She looked up and an angry mob was coming at her hard and fast.  

“She’s responsible for the apocalypse.”

Cheryl did the only thing she could do. The girl ran off not knowing the territory or the area at all. She made a beeline for the forest were there might be protection.

“This is crazy. Witches didn’t cause the apocalypse.”

Shots rang out and they whizzed by her head.

She turned around and pointed a finger at them and they all stopped.

“Why don’t you leave me alone?”

Suddenly, a light flowed from her index finger and zapped the mob into a giant group of scarecrows.

“Holy crap, how did I do that?”

“There’s one of the heretics now. Don’t let her cast a spell on us.”

She pointed her finger and nothing happened.

“I guess this finger zapping thing is a one-trick pony.”

She moved quickly and entered the forest. It was dark and gloomy despite the fact that it was in the middle of the day. But the sun could not penetrate the canopy.

“Where did she go?”

“I don’t know, but we will hunt her down and burn her at the stake like the others.”

Cheryl ran deeper into the forest and stopped because she was completely out of breath.

“Hello, pretty lady.”

Cheryl turned around and saw an elf staring at her. He had buck teeth and a round head. There was something goofy, but at the same time something sinister about him.

“Uhm, where am I?”

“You are in the Dark Forest.”

“Okay, and how do I get out of the Dark Forest?”

“Why would you get out of the Dark Forest?”

“Because I don’t belong here. I belong in a different universe, a different world.”

“What world is that?”

“Earth.”

“Where is earth?”

“You mean this isn’t earth?”

“I think she went over there.” The mob was getting closer.

“No, this isn’t earth.”

“Look, I need a place to hide. Do you have any suggestions?”

“Sure, I know a great place.”

“Cool, let’s go.”

They ran off together. Cheryl had to really hustle because the little elf raced through the woods with blinding speed. They stopped at a tree and he simply opened a door.  

“Ladies first.”

So she walked in and he slammed the door.

“Hey, you little rat.”

He giggled hard and jumped up and down with excitement. And then he ran off leaving her locked in the tree.

“This is really great. I can’t believe this. Here, I am stuck in a tree?”

She pounded on the tree but it wouldn’t budge. She didn’t dare scream out because the mob would hear her.

“I can’t believe it went down this way. All I wanted to do was download a song, not change the world or universe forever. I mean, all I did is press one button on the computer and just like that everything went weird on me. I want to see my family and friends. It would be nice even if my little brother was here right now.”

The mob came and went.

“Where is that little elf?  I didn’t even get his name. It is probably something wretched since he is a horrible little creature.”

She sat down as comfortable as possible and waited for the elf to return. She was going to strangle the little creep when he showed up and if he showed up.

It was night and the moon cast a shadow over the forest. Cheryl woke up and it took her a few seconds to realize where she was and what had happened.

Suddenly, the door opened and she wasn’t ready for it.

“See, I told you I captured a human. It’s a female and she is running away from the mob.”

Cheryl walked out and there were a number of elves all standing grinning and in awe at the same time.

“Okay, you little moron, I am going to wring your neck.”

“Not so fast.”

“You locked me up in a tree.”

“I did it to save you. You don’t run very fast and that mob was quite dangerous.”

She thought about it for a second and realized the little twit was right.

“Who are you and how did you get here?”

“My name is Cheryl and I was sitting not he computer one night and pressed a button to download a song and the whole world was turned upside down.”

“What’s a computer?”

“What’s a download?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I need to get out of this forest and back to where I started.”

“We can get you out of the forest.”

“I can handle the rest from there.”

“Well, you have to be very careful. The mob has the forest surrounded and they have torches.”

“What she needs is a diversion.”

“Yes, that would be good.”

“Diversions are our speciality.” Axin the elf smiled at her and it was apparent that he was smitten.

“Okay, let’s go.”

They moved through the forest night carefully and came to one of the exits.  

“Okay, when I tell you to run, then run.”

“Fine. What is your name by the way?”

“My name is Bullet.”

“Thank you, Bullet.”

“You are welcome. And, I want to say that you are beautiful.”

Axin glared at him and Bullet shrugged his shoulders.

“The diversion should work right about now.”

“Hey, what is that over there?” One of the mob announced to the rest of the group.

“It’s the witch.”

They ran off.

“Go now and run fast.”

“Thank you.” She kissed him on the forehead and then ran off.

“Hey, where is mine?” said Axin.

Cheryl had covered a good distance when the mob spotted her. She was five hundred feet from the stone.

Everything would have been fine except for the rock that she didn’t see. The girl flipped end over end and landed hard banging her head on the stone.

The mob quickly tied her up and carried her off.

“She is going to burn very well.”

When she came to, Cheryl was tied to a stake and there was a fire at her feet. 

“You are going to burn witch.”

But, suddenly a number of stones filled the air and the mob started to back out. In a moment, she was untied. 

“Run, swiftly, dear girl.”

“Thank you, Bullet, once again.”

She ran not sure where she was going but Bullet provided leadership.

She made it to the stone and put her hand into it. The mob was not that far away and suddenly the world started to spin and everything whirled around her. It was too much and she fell down.  

When she woke up, she felt the sensation of bobbing up and down.  

There was a pirate’s sword under the soft part of her chin.

“Well, which is it going to be the treasure map or walk the plank?”

The one-eyed pirate smirked at her.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” said Cheryl.