The Magic Protagonist

Margret looked out of the window, it had rained all day, the day was so dreary, she had a book to finish her agent had been on the phone to her hourly. The phone receiver was red hot. The noise of the rain was like a broken record, it just went on and on.

         ‘I will never get this book done, I just can’t be bothered to do it but I need the money, I will lose the house if I can’t pay the mortgage, thought Margret to herself.

         ‘John, can you get me a cup of coffee please, I need some stimulation?’ shouted Margret at the top of her voice.

         ‘Yes, I will do in about ten minutes, when I finish the ironing,’ replied John.

         ‘Get a grip on yourself, I need the money, stop procrastinating and write, you can do it’, said Margret to herself as loud as she could.

She opened her laptop, and switched it on. It went through its usual warm-up cycle. The picture of Margret shaking hands with Jeffery Archer, she needed this as motivation to start writing. Come on you idiot write, stop procrastinating.

Margret took a deep breath opened her Word document it had 46,023 words the same as Friday and now was Monday. She started typing, the cup of steaming coffee was placed on the table in front of her. She pressed return and was about to start typing again when John appeared with a steaming cup of coffee and put it on to the mat in front of her as he had been instructed regularly.

         ‘Thank you, darling,’ said Margret.

         ‘That is okay something made me put the kettle on a few minutes ago and make your coffee.’

Margret shrugged her shoulders and continued typing, the sun started to poke itself through the clouds. The rain stopped and ten minutes later the sky was free of clouds and it became a bright sunny day. She pressed return and sat back for a few minutes to think about what was coming next. Much to her amazement the clouds seemed to be breaking up. The noise of the rain stopped, and a little glimmer of the sun appeared. Margret looked in amazement. The sun broke through the clouds slightly. Margret thought this was mumbo jumbo and put her head down and carried on writing.

Ten minutes later she looked up to a clear blue sky. No this is just a coincidence. Things like this do not happen. I am seeing things. It will be wet again in ten minutes. She continued typing, and looked up again ten minutes later to see the sky was still blue, not a cloud visible anywhere.

         It’s not my mind that is driving this, I just thought about it starting to rain again and nothing happened. She shrugged her shoulders. Stop procrastinating, she thought to herself. Get writing and think of the mortgage.

Her story got to where the protagonist is served his favourite lunch. She pressed return and continued typing, a few minutes later John appeared, with a beautiful plate of lunch.

         ‘Hello darling since you are so busy I made lunch for you,’ said John. It’s your favourite.’

         ‘Don’t tell me let me guess, salad, plenty of beetroot, and a tuna panini.’

         ‘That is correct.’

I have magic hands said Margret to herself, things I type come true, I need one more test. She typed, the front moved west across Yorkshire, bringing clouds, and with the clouds came the rain. She pressed return and carried on typing. She looked up ten minutes later to find clouds appearing from the west. In the distance, she could see the rain falling.

How does this work, some things I type happen and others are ignored. It seems to work with food and the weather. Or maybe it’s the return key that is magic. The things that have happened have been nearest to the return key. What is the one thing I need? Money to pay the mortgage. She typed more words of her story, and at the end of the paragraph wrote, the phone rang, it was a man who told Margret she had won £100,000 on premium bonds. Pressed return. Then continued typing. She prayed as hard as she could under her breath. A few minutes passed and nothing happened. Then her mobile rang. Margret shook with excitement. She nervously pressed the answer key.

         ‘Hello, yes this is Margret Somerbee, thank you so much.’

         ‘John,’ Margret shouted, ‘We have won some money on the premium bonds. £100,000 to be exact.’

Margret became so excited she had a magic computer, it granted her wishes, just by writing a statement and pressing return. But most important my mortgage is paid. Margret settled down and started to work on her book, the procrastination had disappeared, every day she wrote three thousand words. The words just flew into her mind and down onto the page with no delay.

A few days later her agent phoned again, this time there was no argument, just a promise to have the first draft to her in three weeks. Margret kept her laptop fully charged. Every day she used the same word document to make a wish and pressed return and nothing happened.

One night a year later Margret had a dream about her magic computer, out of the screen came a genie, that gently floated out and bowed to Margret.

‘Margret I am the genie of your laptop. I grant your wishes. But I only have a finite amount of wishes. You ran out of money last year, £100,000 blew my genie budget. But the top genie has topped your budget back up this year and you have another £100,000 to spend. But do it wisely.

Margret opened her eyes; the genie had disappeared. One hundred thousand pounds is mine. Think, about how to spend it. It has to be wisely. She sat up and drank the water next to her bed. Then sat and contemplated what to spend the money on. A little voice in her head said you can’t spend what you have not got yet. I need another premium bond win. Margret swung her legs out of the bed and went to her computer. It was always fully charged and ready to use. She opened the Word document and typed in the phone rang it was the premium bond company with a win of one thousand pounds. Then pressed return.

Five minutes later the phone rang, it was the premium bond company. To announce a win of one hundred thousand pounds. This time Margret invested it wisely. The interest pays a good income.