Behind the Scenes

Promising my sister to be a loyal part of her court definitely wasn't how I expected to be celebrating the new year....especially with my parents seated on either side of her glimmering throne beaming with pride. It wasn't unusual for fed up royals to hand over the keys to the kingdom as soon as their heir became of age. In this case, my normally easy going and caring parents had finally reached the end of their tether when it came to ruling the land of Fae. 

After the bickerings of the seasonal courts over the last couple of months...particulary the Summer and Winter courts, it came as no surprise to me that the King and Queen of Fae had handed the reigns...well they had offically announced my older sister as the heir to the Fae throne anyway. I was proud of Elaria...well as proud as I could be of the selfish, vain and borderline emotionally abusive woman that was my older sister. 

She wasn't even a woman...she was a girl pretending to be an adult. I know journaling is meant to be a theraputic practice, but to be honest this whole experience is proving to be the exact opposite at this present moment in time...perhaps future me will find these words beneficial. 

As the top graduate of my Sorcery class at the academy, I was meant to be spending my first year out of school training with the Royal Fae Army to be a sorcerer. Instead, I was thrust into the role as the Queen in training's assistant and only allowed to work towards my dream career part time. According to most of the population of Fae, the media, and of course my parents...I should feel incredibly honoured to be able to assist my older sister in her journey to one day be the main ruler of Fae, it was safe to say that I did not feel the same way.

Instead, I saw this gig as a prison of some sorts...both metaphorically and literally considering the forbading stone walls of the palace and the hundreds of soldiers patrolling the premises everyday. Perhaps if I liked my sister then I would enjoy the opportunity to help her to reach her full potential...but I didn't. Princess Elaria, my elder sister of 600 years was...well perhaps if I give context to how she was decribed by my parents and the media then my attitude towards her will begin to make sense.

The polite terms of ' confident and lively' really meant 'full of herself and loud'. She is always talking aloud, whether this was a sign of her own stupidity or whether she actually believes people are listening I don't know...yet I do know that she believes anything she says is gospel and that the sun shines out of her butt...basically. 

" Gorgeous and the perfect royal' were terms also flung around in the media...although my mother was the only one to call her actually gorgeous to her face. The truth of the matter was, my parents didn't create asthesitically pleasing children...and that was okay. I know I was average looking...by Fae standards anyway and that was something I just had to accept, looks meant so little in the grand scheme of things afterall.

By caking her pale features with brightly coloured blushes and attempting to darken the famously scarlett tresses the royal family...my family are famous for, Elaria was as superficial as they came. I had always known that I would eventually have to vow to my sister to be a loyal subject of her court, especially as the only princess of her Kingdom and her main royal assistant...or slave as she would probably treat me. I just didn't realise I would have to step into my royal duties so soon...I guess a hidden, unspoken part of me had hoped that my parents would royal for at least another 700 years...wait till I was 2600 years old at least. 

To have a 2500 year old monarch was basically unheard of...she was too young to rule, yet apparently my parents just didn't care at this point...they were over the politics and the drama. I couldn't blame them, not really. I had barely any royal responsibilties at the moment due to only recently have graduated from the academy...yet the nature of the details I had overheard had me grateful that I would never rule. The heads of the Seasonal courts were all such dramatic and theatrical people...my sister would fit right in.

Pushing her age and unfortunate childish tendancies aside, I still was unsure about vowing my life to serve her. Our differences had always been obvious...especially in our formative years. Thanks to my natural talent for enchantments and spellcraft, I had spent most of my childhood investigating my own abilities by myself in the sprawling majestic grounds of the palace or with private tutors specialising in magic. My sister on the other hand...being the heir to the throne and an only child for 600 years, spent her childhood bathing in attention practically 24/7. 

I knew that her current unfortunate deameanour was partly because of this constant pampering, but also because of her natural personality...the old nature vs nurture debate always did repeat itself. To start the new year pledging allegiance to someone I didn't even like or respect...and vowing to work on their behalf for an indefinite amount of time, it was precisely not how I wanted to start my first year out of school...my first year as an adult Fae, my first year of freedom.

I could always complain about my scenario...skulk about and feel sorry for myself. Or...I could simply take life by the reins and control my own destiny. Sure I couldn't control the cards I was dealt...I couldn't control my own fate. Yet...I could choose what I did with this fate I had been given, that was how you decided your destiny afterall.

Besides, I was still allowed to continue my sorcery studies and training on the side. Maybe in this new position I would be able to effectively implement strategies and plans to better support the land of the Fae from an insider perspective. Although my parents had been active monarchs, not all monarchs always had to be. Perhaps my sister would just be the face of the monarch and her team would do the ruling...a team I would be grateful to be apart of. I didn't want to be Queen...but I did want to be able to help my family achieve their goal of serving their subjects. The land of the Fae relied on their Queen...on their ruling royal family for so much...they relied on us for their safety and peace of mind. 

it was an incredibly important and meaningful role...and I refused to sit by and simply allow my sister to play dressups without actually caring about the subjects who followed her. My vow this year wasn't just to her...no, that was simply a facade. My vow was to the people that looked up to my family...my vow was to my parents and the generations of royals that had come before me. I was going to make them proud and look after Fae...even if it was from behind the scenes.