Finding White Rabbit

Once upon a time, there was once a girl named Alice who lived in Wonderland. But along came the Red queen and destroyed the time-space. Making everything seemed faster and faster till all the people of wonderland had to learn how to catch up, or they will die.

This includes Alice as well. She skipped the tea parties and brought her own keys, she baked her own cakes and created her own potions. All so she could survive this dreadful place. Or so that’s how the story goes anyway, for me.

Hi, I’m Alice, and I’m looking for the ‘white rabbit.’ What’s the ‘white rabbit’, you may ask? Well, it’s kinda complicated to say what it is or what it was. But basically, my parents came up with a mathematical formula that will probably give a predicted answer to phase No. 8 and so on. And the ‘white rabbit’ is the clue to that formula which can be found in the dark crevices of my childhood memories.

Since time became too fast and people can no longer keep up with the old-time system, scientists decided to change the dates and years completely to Phases. Phases are the major events that occur within a country.

Currently, we’re at Phase 6 since the Red Queen appeared. So approximately 10 years since the declaration of Phase 1. And since then we had the largest volcano erupted, the total shift of the whole Southeast Asian continent, for the first time in history had our first snow season, the huge leap of technology in centuries, stock market blew up. That’s to name a few. The next one we have no idea and that’s the reason for finding ‘white rabbit’.

To cut it short, I’m trying to help the world enter the next phase of life, cause of all the people to be born with genius parents, it had to be me.

Sadly they didn’t make it past phase No. 4. And now I’m strapped here in this machine, ready to go once again into a world I had forgotten to retrieve the ‘white rabbit.’

Lucky me.

Said machine will try to pinpoint where a memory of the ‘white rabbit’ would be and amplify it. Allowing me, the dreamer to try and deduct anything about it.

Though people behind the transparent computer screens won’t see the memories themselves.

Phew, that’s one relief. Don’t want them to see my embarrassing moments.

"Get this thing ready in… 5…4…3…2…" said the computer lady over my head

"Commencing operation."

"Let’s go back to Earth before it became a wonderland, shall we?"

‘…1.’

*

Down the rabbit hole she went until she found herself in a very familiar tea room sitting at the right hand of the table. On her tiny hands held a very delicate china cup. Its design is that of the white rabbit surrounded with glittering jewels.

This could be a clue, thought Alice as she looked closer. The rabbit has bright red eyes and a blue bow on its neck.

“Mom come have tea with me pleeease,” Pleaded a high pitch voice. It was little Alice waiting for her tea party to start.

“Oh darling maybe later?” said a very haggard-looking woman in the other room. Her hand shaking from too much coffee with a tinge of rum.

“You always say that…..” pouted the little girl.

“What? what you said dear?” said the mother finally looking away from the computer screen. She peered across the room and found Alice with her teacup dangling on the floor and her elbows on the

table.

“Darling dearest, oh alright,” said her mother sounding defeated, standing up kicking up a couple of papers and empty bottles of energy along the way.

She went behind Alice and combed her hair. Alice could feel her mother’s uncut nails and could smell her drink of the day. But she ignored all that. Her mother went to sit across from her.

“Time for tea!” they both said at the same time and the tea party finally began.

And that’s when they heard a large crashing sound. Like an earthquake underneath the oceans, the memory shook and was destroyed.

Down, down the rabbit hole, she went again. Spinning, no way of knowing where‘s up and down.

On her way to the bottom, she could hear the elements of what made Alice, Alice.

And that’s when she smelled the sterile room, the familiar sound of chalk scraping, the scent of the so-called chicken broth next to her, and a soft humming.

It could have meant anything to her. She expected it would be the time when she sat in her parents’ classroom. Or the time she went to their massive library. Those times may easily pinpoint where the ‘white rabbit’ is. But why this particular memory?

“No, not this. Stop stop stop, make it stop” she pleaded to herself.

With heavy-lidded eyes, she felt herself lower to an uncomfortable mattress, unable to move a muscle like she was trained to do.

“Open your mouth darling,” says the monster of her mother. What happened to the tea party? What happened to the mother she knew?

Her mother’s face was so high up from her neck but she could still see her eyes that were as big as plates and fingernails that resemble so much that of a spider. Her hair, so dark and long that floats around her, waiting to choke little Alice. Coming closer to her mouth was a cold metal spoon filled with brown liquid that is clearly poison. Just the scent of it made Alice’s stomach roll and cave in.

‘No! No!’ she protested.

‘It’s poison!!!!’ Alice screamed with all her might, but there is nothing that could stop the spoon from entering her mouth, clanking her teeth and washing her throat with a liquid that bleaches her stomach and insides.

And darkness covered her entire vision once again.

Spinning at an uncontrollable angle. She bounced on the different highlights of her life. There’s the pillow where she used to hide secrets. The books that she obsessed about. Her first phone. Her first email from a boy she used to like. It seems like she was falling forever until finally, she landed heavily in an enormous bed with blankets that cover the horizons.

But she was not alone. On the edge, she could see something climbing up.

“Give me a break!” she screamed.

It was her high school classmates that ruined her life, all in a form of dolls.

“You guys were supposed to finally leave me alone!!” she yelled going into her fighting stance.

The first doll approached her. She was her first best friend till they had a fall apart for reasons she could no longer remember.

Charging full ahead she tackled the human-sized doll to the ground and started to punch her like she would’ve wanted all those years ago. But then another doll came and grabbed her back. She turned around and saw that it was her prettiest classmate. Filled with jealousy she grabbed her eyes and pulled them out.

Red paint covered her entire face and then she could no longer identify the rest of the dolls. As they all huddled over her and at the same time they started to talk to her.

“What’s wrong with you?”

“Why are you starring?”

“It’s alright we could handle it well without you”

“If you’re so sure of it, why not just do it all?”

“Gosh you’re such a princess”

“So ‘conyo’”

Again and again, they reminded of her all the things that she lacked.

All those noises crowded all of her thoughts till nothing is understandable but somehow they all make sense, for all of it was the truth.

But she is not that weak. She was trained and honed. She surpassed all those before, she can do it again.

“Where is the ‘white rabbit’?!! " she screamed instead.

“Where is the ‘white rabbit’?!!” repeated Alice as if somehow it would finally appear.

I am tired.

“Tell me where is it??” with much confidence and bravado she stood up for herself and actually stared them straight in their blackhole eyes. And all the strings that made them up started to unravel all around her.

Tell me it is over….

Looking up she saw her father with heavy hands and an oversized white cloak. He’s looking down at her with his tiny eyes with giant glasses and his height just keeps increasing and increasing until his tall as the entire house.

‘Allliiicccee’ her father yelled with a low slow bass voice, just as she remembered. Like thunder after a long summer month. Fear spiked her bloodstream. She pulled her palms over her eyes and started to chant.

“Please let this be over.”

“This cannot be where the ‘white rabbit is.”

“Please just let me find the ‘white rabbit’.”

“Please make it stop,”

“Wake me up now”

Darkness covered her peripherals until she felt large hands that gently lifted her up. With much bravery, she lowered her hands and saw the brown twinkling eyes of her father, its rim almost filled with tears. His eyes are now leveled with hers.

Calming her heart down, she saw her father lift his other hand and opened it. Inside his palm was what she’d been searching for all this time. The ‘white rabbit’. Sitting quietly in the center.

So innocent and fragile. How can this be the answer to the next incoming phase? She reached for it and like glass, it all shattered away.

Where is she now?

Alice opened her eyes to discover the world long lost. Tiny hands held her mother tightly as they crossed the street past the yellow vehicles that seem to take people to other places.

The buildings tower over her small form and it reminded her of the server rooms she passed before being strapped to the machine. Her fear finally subsiding, and her consciousness returning.

We must be in Makati before it became a digital place. She concluded. Following her mother in this quiet night, entranced by the peacefulness it gives. The streets are cleared of ads and no noise or holograms blinding the eyes of the passersby.

"It’s finally over."

"Did you say something, darling?"

Looking up she saw the face of her mother, the same face in the photographs and holograms, not the monster she saw all those nights ago. Everything was back to normal And Alice felt a twitch in her gut.

"The night is very beautiful," she said instead, resisting the dam that wants to break free. This wasn’t the time to be all sentimental. She has a mission to accomplish. She found it.

"I’m sorry Mom, Goodbye for now."

One last time she closed her eyes and she knew that the next time she opened them everything will be different.

Gone will be the world she knew and finally outgrew.

Light shimmers her view. Wishing that it could blind her from the next reality that she will be facing.

Voices that blurred and slurred from the distance became opaque and understandable.

"Where’s the white rabbit?" they ask her.

Rich brown eyes stared at them straight ahead.

I am the white rabbit.