Paul Junior

It was a humid, sticky day in Ecuador. When I opened the door to the car, I felt overwhelming heat swallow all the energy in my body. My name is Paul, and today was my first day on the job. I was training to be a marine biologist, and I wanted to be a solo diver.  I did not necessarily have the job yet, however, if I completed the task, I was guaranteed the job. It was only a matter of time before I figured out what that task was going to be.  Suddenly, I was encountered by a tall man with no facial hair but still looked in his fifties. 

“Goodmorning, Paul. I love seeing young inexperienced men come around here and act so confident.” Lance chuckled. 

“Sir, I am pretty nervous,” I admitted. 

“Don’t talk back to me, if I want to call you a noob, I sure as hell will. Are we clear?”

“Yes sir.”

“As I was saying, the task I will be giving you is nothing you ever experienced before. This is not swimming for fun, scuba diving, or trying to catch a shark. You will be doing something nobody in this business was able to do before.” Lance said. 

“I think I know! Are you going to make me find a pink dolphin?”

“Have you ever looked at our website? You are a man, act like it! Dolphins are for kids you moron. Why would I have you find something so useless? Once again, shut up!” Lance shouted. 

I swung my arm around my lips in a zipper motion and acted as if I threw the zipper away. Lance rolled his eyes and continued. 

“The water over there, that is the cold waters of Humboldt. You are to search those waters and find the endangered species of the Galapagos penguin.” Lance explained. 

“I have a question, if I may.” I inquired. 

“Go for it, but it better not be stupid.”

“Why can’t I just find a normal dumb penguin and throw it at your face?”

I burst into laughter, but as I pulled myself together I saw Lance staring furiously at me. 

“Tough crowd,” I said.

“Do you want me to send you home, Paul?”

“No, I am sorry. I will find the penguin sir.”

“Lucy! Help this man with his equipment please!” Lance shouted.

“Woah wait a minute sir. I know how to put my equipment on.”

“You better stop talking back to me, this is your last warning,” Lance said. 

“My deepest apologies,” I said. 

Lance walked back to the cabin and Lucy was walking in my direction. She had long black hair and wore a red bikini. 

“Well GOODMORNING MR. PAUL! Aren’t you a cute Lil thing!”

“Please don’t -”

“HEY HEY HEY, what did that ol Mr. Lance tell you about talking back hm?”

“Sorry.” 

“Good boy! Now listen carefully and follow my every move!  Step into your suit, pull it up, zip it up, do a twirl, and honey put that helmet on so you don’t go drow’en yourself.”

“Thanks for that,” I said. 

“Now put ya flippers on before I go and slap you with it.” She said. 

I pulled on my flippers, and now it was time to go into the water. My body froze up and soon as I entered the water, but I couldn’t tell if that was from fear, or just the water itself.  We swam further and further, but there was nothing to see but the water itself. 

“It should be around here somewhere.” She explained. 

“We have been swimming for hours, my arms are starting to get tired,” I said. 

“Honey! Your lucky there aren’t any waves today! What, do you want some water? You are in the water for heaven’s sake!”

“Wait, I think I see something!” I screamed. 

“Just lead the way! I will follow.”

The penguin seemed closer than it was, but we continued to swim.

“You found him! Hold on hun, let me call a boat.”

“WE COULD HAVE HAD A BOAT THE ENTIRE TIME?” I yelled. 

“Well yes, but you did say you wanted to be a diver, no?”

With little to no time to spare, the boat came rushing in and she instructed me to carry the penguin inside. I lifted the penguin gently, and it felt like a baby as I held it toward my chest.  I took a seat with the penguin on my lap, and the boat was heading back to where we came from. 

“Good work!” Lance said.

I jumped off the boat and carried the penguin with me, for some reason I didn’t want to let go. 

“Hand that buddy over to me kid,” Lance said. 

I was at a loss for words and continued to keep the penguin in my arms. 

“Paul, you got the job done. Give me the penguin.” 

“So you can do what with it?” I demanded. 

He backed up and I saw people sitting in wooden chairs at the cabin. They all sat with their napkins folded on their lap, and big piles of food in front of them.

“What the hell are they eating?” 

“Well son, they are eating penguins.”

“Who the heck eats penguin! Is this what you wanted me to get him for?”

“We were running low.”

I looked over to Lucy, who seemed as if she approved of it. 

“I refuse to give him to you,” I said.

“If we don’t get the penguin, you don’t get the job,” Lance argued. 

“I don’t want the job of an animal killer! Don’t you understand?”

“Well, you wouldn’t be the one killing the penguin.” 

“Well, then I don’t want to work for an animal killer.”

“What are you going to do with the penguin, Paul? Can’t you see you have lost your mind!”

“I lost my mind? These animals are already endangered!”

“Don’t act like you don’t eat a burger every damn day of your life! You kill more cows than you do penguins!”

“I am a vegetarian. I don’t need this from you, hire someone else.” I said. 

“You are easily replaceable, Paul.”

“I may be easily replaced, but this penguin isn’t. Goodbye Lance.”

I walk over to where the people are eating and show them the penguin resting in my arms. 

“This is what you guys are eating, I hope you are happy with yourselves.” 

Then, without being able to control it, I flip over their tables out of anger and went on my way to find a home for the penguin that I would name Paul Junior.