52 comments

Suspense

.“ Mama ,it’s a beautiful cottage in the middle of the dense forest”. Fourteen years lad Ronnie excitedly expressed."But mother surveillance is the need of this place”.He further expressed.” Yeah dear, that technicians would come next week. “Mother replied.






. Cottage was presenting a lovely scenario , built by Captain James cook in eighteen century.Despite of been old structure, It was rich with all the amenities. Ronnie belonged to a sound family, had  ancestral lands and other properties in south, so cottage was ideal for the Vacations especially in summers .Ronnie also erected a chicken cage and kept chickens in them..Ronnie was indeed very excited.He also raised a plan for next investment in the periphery.

.It was a broad day light. Ronnie was in a very jolly mood this morning.He thought he lallygag the periphery make some acquaintances. When he took a little walk,he saw a Small annexee.He stood for a while.A Land cruiser appeared ,he hid behind a dense tree.A man came out from the Land cruiser with carrying a bag in his hand. That man was looking very generous and kind natured.So,he thought that it would be fine introducing himself to him. As the Man approached the stairs, a tall burly man came from inside the annexe, wearing a big brimmed hat ,covering half face, carving big Yellow coloured “M" on the left side of the hat, carrying a gun and suddenly opened fire on him.That man had fallen down and died. Ronnie was not mentally prepared for the sudden episode by uttering a big “oooooooh” from his mouth .The Killer ,when heard the voice, also fired towards Ronnie.He was obvious that Ronnie must have seen his face but Ronnie didn’t see his face due to a brimmed cap.Ronnie rash towards the forest .The Killer ran after him.Ronnie thought his cottage was not so far but he ran little farther that the killer should not see him and his cottage. Ronnie ran farther and hid in thick shrubbery .He saw the legs of the murderer very closely, He abated himself ,Murderer looked around ,holding a gun but eventually ran further. Ronnie was obviously nervous and speech less,, a hand appeared from behind ,closed his mouth tightly with a hard grip,Ronnie's eyes opened wide with fury . “Why are you hiding here? “It was her mother. Ronnie became calmed.He told the whole hazard to mother.They quickly hurried towards their cottage. Locked the whole cottage from inside. In the meantime a car came..A handsome man lighted , “I’m investigation officer ,showing his card”,Howard Jack"came for investigation of the murder in an annexee... Name of the murderer was “George May",rich business man”.Ronnie brought him inside the cottage. He inspected their cottage and inquired about the Surveillance. Ronnie’s mother excused by saying that the Surveillance would be restored next week.”Did you know about the murder? “.Mr Howard conferred.  Looking towards his mother, Ronnie said “I’m the witness”.” Oh, I see,now tell me the whole incident.” Howard said.Ronnie told him the whole incident.””It means you and the murderer haven’t seen each other”.Mr Howard given a pistol to Ronnie’s mother. “Take this pistol ,keep it in easy approach””I’m afraid of such things”Ronni's mother scarcely said. ”it’s just a mettle but keep this in mind that the murderer would definitely come to your cottage,in the view that Ronnie is the eye witness, although we know that Ronnie didn’t see his face neither Ronnie saw his fce but as my experience, face is not only the source of recognition” Mr Howard very professionally elabarate to them. ”But Mr Howard if you kindly deploy some body to look after our cottage from outside,we would be grateful to you”. I myself  would be vigil your cottage, don’t you worry Mr Howard very responsibly said.Two days passed peace fully. “Today I would go to my home for three days,so you must be alert “instructed Mr Howard.That night Ronnie was asleep in his room but His mother was roaming inside the cottage that night .she was awakened guarding the whole cottage inside. In the morning she prepared the breakfast for Ronnie and went to bed for sleep.She awakened at 4 O’clock, after noon, prepared coffee for herself.Ronnie was also sitting with his mother in the dinning room. Suddenly door opened with a big bang and a man entered ,covering his face and as he was about to opened fire on them,Mr Howard jumped from the back and they started fighting but that invader was very active ,he jumped outside and quickly vanished in the forest.” Are you alright ?“asked Mr Howard. “Yes,but you were away to your home “.Ronnie's mother inquired. ”yes,but for your security reasons I didn’t go, knew that the murderer would come but now I’m thinking why did he come in day light? He killed Mr George May in the day light and also came to kill you in the daylight, what is the reason behind it?….”Next morning Ronnie’s mother was cleaning the Dinning room she found a prescription in the corner of the room .she noted the medicines and name of the doctor. .Ronnie's mother quickly searched the net.The medicine were related to eyes disease and those medicines were prescribed for the patients suffering from night blindness called “Nyctalopia ".Now she understood that the prescription is fallen by the murderer while they were fighting.She didn’t tell to anybody about the prescription. In the evening, Mr Howard came but he was not satisfied and said. “How long shall we coup up with this situation,? murderer is very bold and shrewd, didn’t care for day and night but attack “.”Ronnie’s mother showed him the Doctor’s prescription.Mr Howard went straight towards the doctor, Doctor told him that the prescription is issued by him , this prescription been issued to Mr George May some days ago.Mr Howard came to his office with little clue.. Next day Mr George May's brother Mr Martin May came to his office and started pressurizing the authorities to find the Murderer as soon as possible.Mr Howard was already nostalgic decided to go to Mr Paul ,a well-known business man and friend of Mr Howard, in his palatial mansion, in evening for Dinner. Dignitaries from different walks of life were present in the dinner. In the meanwhile Mr Martin May entered the hall, having holding his hand by one of his guard, wearing a tuxedo and the same big brimmed cap carved a big yellow coloured “M" on the left side of the hat. Mr Howard became stunned ..Mr Martin May came and sat near Mr Howard.Mr Howard immediately very slowly asked his guard .His guard told him that he is suffering from ”Nyctalopia" and his brother George May was also had a same malady..Now Mr Howard got the clue He understood the whole incident that Martin May killed his brother.Mr Howard came close to Mr Martin May and said in a very low tone “Sir,a good news about Mr George May’s Murder, Murderer is being arrested”. Said Mr Howard ,”Thank you very much Mr Howard,but who is the Murderer? “ Mr Martin May asked hurriedly, ”Right in front of me “ Mr Howard amusingly said “What are you talking about”? Mr Martin May yelled and took out his pistol.They both frayed , fire broke out, after few seconds Mr Martin May fallen down and been died. The End.”M".


February 04, 2021 05:56

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52 comments

Abdul Ghani
12:26 Feb 18, 2021

I wait for your stories everyweek.

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Abdul Ghani
12:25 Feb 18, 2021

I checked your stories lenghth,now it is more than 1200..

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Tariq Saeed
17:55 Feb 08, 2021

But if the story has some historical touch,I wd try that also.

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Tariq Saeed
17:54 Feb 08, 2021

If you have any good idea about any topic you can discuss .

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Tariq Saeed
17:52 Feb 08, 2021

I would definitely try to make the story longer and more interest for you.

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Tariq Saeed
14:27 Feb 08, 2021

I need feedback of any kind,just give me a sincerely comment.

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Tariq Saeed
14:26 Feb 08, 2021

It's good that you are critically examining my stories.I appreciate.

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Tariq Saeed
05:22 Feb 08, 2021

Thanks reedsy for the approval of my story "M".

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Tariq Saeed
17:20 Feb 07, 2021

Thank you Hamza and Ghani for taking interest in my stories.

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Abdul Ghani
11:12 Feb 07, 2021

Everybody wd like your story but make it at least two thousand words.

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Abdul Ghani
11:10 Feb 07, 2021

Make the story little enlarge.

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Abdul Ghani
11:10 Feb 07, 2021

Thrill,suspense with good idea.

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Abdul Ghani
11:09 Feb 07, 2021

Nice story.

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Hamza Rehman
11:00 Feb 06, 2021

Your story is now nearly 1300 words ,make it at least two thousand.

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Hamza Rehman
11:00 Feb 06, 2021

Your story is now nearly 1300 words ,make it at least two thousand.

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Hamza Rehman
10:59 Feb 06, 2021

I think you are improved but you still give little time to description of character.

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Hamza Rehman
10:59 Feb 06, 2021

I think you are improved but you still give little time to description of character.

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Hamza Rehman
10:59 Feb 06, 2021

I think you are improved but you still give little time to description of character.

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Hamza Rehman
10:57 Feb 06, 2021

The cottage description is good.make little longer.

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Hamza Rehman
10:57 Feb 06, 2021

The cottage description is good.make little longer.

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