Princess, the Writers Muse

Every great writer needs a muse Annie believed, hers just had a fuzzy tail and a cute face. Princess was her partner and writing companion. The romance novels she wrote were a fun hobby, but even she knew they were missing something, her plots were lifeless.  She wrote about what she knew, her heroines all had loving, adoring cats, and her heroes were modeled after her perfect husband Walter, the brilliant scientist. Annie wanted to spark up her stories, but did not know how.   She loved what she wrote, but no one else did.

 Annie had been skeptical of the whole idea, but Walter said it was for science, so Annie brought Princess, her cat into her husband’s lab for the tests. She had to weave through several hallways, but finally in a back room of the old medical building, she found her husband in his lab. 

 “She is just a sweet little furball, so innocent.”  Annie said to her husband’s lab partner, Dr. Margaret Stein as she carefully pulled the cat out of the carrier.  Soon her husband, Dr. Walter LaCroix, had affixed the headset to Princess’ furry head. The enormous white Persian cat purred in Annie’s lap, both sitting in the testing corner of the laboratory.  As she petted the thick fur, its eyes blinked slowly, looking around the faded walls of the lab room.

“Almost got it-.” Walter said.

Princess hissed at Walter as he buckled the straps behind the cat's ears. The thin antennae of the metal headset waved slightly as Princess shook her head. Ann held the cat closely with both hands so it wouldn’t try to leap away.

“You wouldn’t believe the results we have been getting from the dogs we have been studying. ” Dr. Stein said. Sitting at the computer station, her young face was all smiles at  Annie and the cat. “Such clear translations of their thoughts!” 

“Of course, dogs do not have the cognitive capability of say a dolphin, or a monkey.” Walter added. “What you always thought about dogs is true, they are loyal to a fault, and dumb.” 

“Remember yesterday’s subjects?  “Pet my head.... I am so excited to see you..... take me for an adventure…’  Dr. Stein laughed, her voice high pitched and excited.

“People will finally get to hear how much their dogs love them, Annie.” Walter said.  “We are thinking of calling it AnimalComms - what do you think of that?”

“I think FluentPet is better. Walt we have talked about this …” Dr Stein twisted around to look up at him.

“We can discuss it later-” Walter walked over to the computer station to stand behind Dr. Stein. “ Imagine how many people will want this to hear what their pets are thinking. We are going to be rich!”  Walter laughed, and his hand settled on Dr. Stein’s shoulder as he leaned down to look at her computer monitor.

 “We can finally get out of this old lab building.” Dr. Stein narrowed her eyes at Annie. 

“Rich? I didn’t know about that Walter-  that sounds wonderful. ” Annie tilted her head to look at her husband closely. 

Walter smiled awkwardly at Annie. “Margaret, I mean Dr. Stein and I are starting a company selling these collars. I didn’t want to bring it up until….  We have several investors and they have big plans.  Walter’s eyes were wide, his smile huge.  "First for dogs, and if today’s test with the cat-”

“-Princess." Annie clarified.

“Yes, Princess. If her test goes well we can look at offering a version for cats. Though I think dogs will be our primary focus-” Walter glanced down at Dr. Stein. 

“People have to understand dogs are basic animals.” Dr.Stein chimed in. “You might think dogs can carry on a conversation with you, but actually dogs' thoughts are relatively basic, focused on food, and attention.” 

“Walter, are we sure this is safe?” Annie interrupted. “I don’t want to hurt Princess-”

“She’ll be fine” Walter reached out to pet Princess’ back, but she jerked back and hissed, her blue eyes narrowing into dark slits in her white fur.

“What do you think she will say?” Annie asked. 

“Well, the dogs had simple thoughts about food, or wanting to get out of this small room.”

“This wireless headset will broadcast the Princess's thoughts.  Dr. Stein, please do the honors-” 

Annie lifted her hands up and twisted down to watch her cat's face as the machine began.

At the flick of the switch, a humming came through the small speaker in the headset.

“Not happy… angry….rip off his male parts…claw his face… ” 

The voice came through the speaker flat and toneless.  The cat shook its head rapidly, and then batted unsuccessfully at the metal headset strapped to its head. 

 “What is Princess saying, is that right?  Annie looked around wide-eyed at her husband and his partner Dr. Stein. 

“Something’s wrong.” Dr. Stein said.  “I have the software program set to very simple words, Walt.  The German Shepherd was scared of the metal instruments, remember, kept repeating ‘danger, danger’. " Dr. Stein squinted to focus on the screen. “This cat seems to have more cognitively complicated thoughts coming through.”  She typed rapidly on the computer. “Let me adjust the software to the highest cognitive level, with the human intonations-”

The voice erupted from the speaker. 

“...Goddamn bitch!  Why did she stop petting me?  That asshole did something to my head.”

Annie pushed the cat off her lap and stood up, “What did you do to Princess!”

The fat cat landed gracefully on the floor and shook its head. “What is this thing? These stupid slaves are always trying to annoy me.”

Princess pawed her head once, twice, then looked up at Annie, and then Walter.  

“Maybe it is a crown, yes that could be it. Another way to honor their Queen.  I prefer the jeweled necklace, this crown is uncomfortable .”

Princess walked up to Annie’s leg and rubbed her body against it.  

 “Pet me, stupid hairless one.”

All three people looked at each other in shock,  Annie began petting Princess quickly.

“Did that cat call me an ‘asshole’?”  Walter looked around shocked.

“Well not exactly. That word was how the thought was translated.” Dr. Stein stammered quickly. “Maybe the translation is off, somehow the conversion from canine cognition does not work with feline-”

“Did Princess call us her ‘slaves’?  Annie looked wide-eyed at the cat walking the floor. 

“Yes, definitely some translation software issue-” Dr. Stein repeated, typing furiously at the keyboard.

 Princess made an audible yowl at Annie. 

Annie looked around, and gave a knowing smile.  “She does that when she is-

“I am starving, feed me.” Princess said. “If I was just a bit bigger I would rip your soft belly open and have a snack.  But I will go find my own. I smell them, just through here-”

Princess put her nose to the ground, and then with a dexterity belying her great size ran through the open lab door. “I need to find that creature.”

“-Annie, we are both Doctors in cognitive science, and this technology is based on years of research.” Walter had his hands on his wife’s shoulders, Annie was in tears, her body shaking. “Dr. Stein here is the leading researcher, in the country,  on the neural pathways of dogs.  Not to mention we have tested this on over 30 dogs and the technology worked perfectly, with no side effects.” Walter pulled her in for a hug. “Come on, you don’t trust me?”

Annie kept her body firm, She looked at the two doctors and realized she did not trust them, not at all.   

“We need to find Princess!” Annie pushed her husband off of her. “Where could she have gone?”

“Well this is a big building, she could be anywhere. If we wait, I am sure she will be back-” Dr. Stein said.

“She could be in danger. I am going to find her!”  Annie went through several of the hallways with no sign of the large white cat. 

Suddenly a white blur moved from one room to another. 

“Princess!” Annie cried. “Stop Princess!”

“You’ll never catch me you furless pathetic blob.” Princess looked back and dove down another hall.

Anne followed along, looking into open rooms until she saw Princess still as a statue, her eyes bright and focused.     

“There you are.” Princess said to the small mouse shivering in fear against the wall.

"Oh you are mine!" Princess' tail moved slightly, before feinting to the left and diving right, the mouse fatally guessed wrong. 

“Oh I love the feel of that racing heart under my paws.” 

Anne made an audible gasp, and hugged herself in disgust.

“Let have a little fun.”   Princess bit down on the mouse back, crushing its spine and then let go.  The squirming mouse tried to escape by using its front legs only, and moved about a foot before Princess jumped again on top of it.

“Not so fast little one!”

 Princess pawed the mouse, sending it sprawling the other way.  It again moved a few inches before Princess jumped on it again. 

“Got you again!”  

Underneath Princess' paws the mouse suddenly went still, it shrunk down in its death. 

Princess tapped it again, but the mouse did not move. Princess pawed the body back and forth a few times. “Come on little one, why won't you play with me? ” 

 Princess took a few bites of the soft belly of the mouse, daintily.  “Damn that is good, but I don’t  want to get too much blood on my whiskers.” 

Princess picked up the dead mouse in its jaws and walked down the halls, back to the small lab room. Anne followed, her hand over her mouth. 

Princess came back through the door and gave Walter a glaring look “You are still an asshole.”  

She walked over to Dr. Stein and dropped the dead mouse at her feet.

“Here you go. For your baby.” 

 Annie looked at Dr. Stein. “You’re having a baby?” When Annie saw Dr. Stein's face fall, and her eyes flash to Walter her heart dropped. She knew what was going on. 

Princess looked up to Annie. “You can’t trust the males. They should all have their male parts cut off.” 

Princess licked her paw and began rubbing across her face. “I hope I got all the blood off my face.”

“Don't bother coming home- Walt.”   Annie said, and picked up Princess. Annie was through with romance. 

Anger coursing through her, her eyes lit up with a new story idea, involving a trapped man, and torture. Lots of torture. Now that she understood her muse, she knew she had the perfect writing partner in the crook of her arm.