What Is Brave?

What is bravery? Is it standing firm in the face of danger? Is it doing what is needed, even when your insides feel like they are crawling with terror? Who can say?

~~~

Ellen and Marie shared excited smiles. They were heading for the Lodge, the small hunting cabin that Ellen’s family owned on the far edge of their property. The cabin was completely off the grid – no phone, no electricity, no running water. The girls had even left their cell phones at Ellen’s house. They had decided to spend part of their Christmas break on an old-fashioned packing trip.

Their horses snorted, sending great clouds of steam into the air. They tromped through the snow that rose to their hocks and dodged drifts that rose to their bellies.

“Elly, this is going to be so fun!” Marie said. “We’ll be like pioneer women! For three days we’ll have absolutely no outside communication. That part might be hard, but we’ll make it!” Marie sometimes seemed addicted to her phone. She couldn’t eat without taking a picture of her food, and no activity actually happened unless she had posted the proof to her multiple social media accounts.

Ellen was the opposite. She remembered she ought to take a picture after the moment had passed, and she constantly forgot where she had even put her phone. She was glad Marie had been convinced to leave their phones at her parents’ house.

Now here they were, bundled up in warm woolen clothing, packing in supplies for two nights spent at the Lodge. They had been riding for three hours and were still an hour from the cabin.

Marie’s horse suddenly shied away from a log and jostled into Ellen’s. It quieted, but still flicked a nervous ear in that direction.

“What’s wrong, Jazzy?” Marie asked. “Is there a big, bad rabbit over there?”

Ellen glanced over and shuddered. “Not exactly, Marie. Cat tracks.”

The snow on the log showed where a large cougar had walked up to the top and lay down.

Marie gulped and stared at the tracks. “Should we head back?” she asked, voice quivering. Her horse shifted nervously underneath her.

“No.” Ellen said. “They aren’t super fresh, and the cabin’s not that far away now.”

“But Jazzy’s scared!”

“She’s only scared because you are.” Ellen said. “Tell her there’s nothing to worry about and let’s move on. Come on Duke.” She patted her horse and started back up the small road.

Marie took a deep breath and patted Jazzy. “It’s okay. There’s nothing to worry about. Just follow Duke and Elly and we’ll be fine.” Jazzy snorted and followed Ellen’s horse.

The girls reached the Lodge in late afternoon. They hurried to unsaddle and brush the horses down. They settled them in the lean-to built on the side of the cabin and brought in their supplies.

“Check the chimney for rat’s nests while I bring in some wood, and then let’s get a fire going.” Ellen said.

Marie nodded and looked up the chimney. “I see daylight up there. Nothing’s blocking it.”

“Good.” Ellen said, setting her load of firewood down beside the hearth. “I wasn’t expecting there to be. It’s only been a month since Harvey used it for his elk hunting base.” Her brother was a hard-core hunter.

When they had the fire crackling merrily they lay out their sleeping bags on the floor of the cabin, near enough to the fire to be warm through the night but far enough to avoid catching them on fire.

“I’ll check the horses again before it gets dark.” Ellen said.

Marie grabbed her heavy coat and gloves. “I’ll come with you.” She followed Ellen through the door that connected the cabin with the lean-to.

The horses were quiet, standing by the feeder.

“Let’s throw them a little more hay.” Marie said. “They might get hungry tonight.”

Ellen chuckled, but grabbed the hay bag they had brought. “Not too much. It’s got to last another day and night.”

Night fell, and the two girls played cards by the light of a propane lantern. The cheery light lit up the Lodge and cast shadows against the wall. The soft sigh of the wind outside made the inside seem warmer by contrast.

In the lean-to beside the cabin Duke and Jazzy shuffled and blew, before settling down again. They munched contentedly on their hay and dozed lazily.

The girls settled down in their sleeping bags and shut off the lantern. The cabin was dark except for the glow of the fire in the stove and the moon in the window.

Marie sighed sleepily. “Ellen, do you do this often?”

“No.” Ellen murmured. “Not as often as I’d like. Maybe we can do it again sometime.”

“Sure.” Marie said as she snuggled deeper into her sleeping bag. “It’s been fun.” Her eyes blinked once, and again, and then gentle snores began to drift from her position.

Ellen smiled and closed her eyes, drifting slowly to sleep.

A hair-raising scream woke them suddenly. The girls leapt from their bags, eyes wide and staring. The fire had died down and the cabin was nearly pitch black.

“Elly, what’s going on?” Marie said. Her voice wobbled and shook.

Ellen scowled, lighting the lantern by feeling alone. “Sounds like a cougar.” She said. She rustled through the pantry and placed a box of ammunition on the table.

Marie shook as she pulled on her boots. “What are you doing?”

“I heard Harvey tell Dad that he left his 30-06 rifle here. I’m going to sit in the lean-to and keep the cougar away from the horses.”

Marie gulped. “Y-you’re going out? Elly, what if it eats you?” She pulled on her heavy winter coat and gloves while she spoke.

Elly set a heavy rifle on the table. She grabbed her winter gear. “It’s not having Duke for midnight snack. Here, hold these.” She handed the box of rifle shells to Marie then slung the rifle over her shoulder.

Marie grabbed the lantern and followed Ellen into the lean-to. The horses were stomping their hooves and snorting harshly. Marie set the light to shine out the open wall. Her breaths were coming faster and harder. “Is it out there?” she asked.

Ellen shrugged, setting down and bracing Harvey’s rifle against the feeder. “Yeah. I don’t know where, but it is out there.” She relaxed the tension in her shoulders and back and prepared to wait. “Alright, hand me some shells.”

Marie licked her lips nervously as she dug a shell out of the box. She handed Ellen three, then clutched the box to her stomach. “Do you think it’s going to come in here?”

“I don’t know.” Ellen said, jacking the first shell into the rifle. “Maybe if we keep talking and making noise it won’t. At any rate, it’ll keep us awake.”

“Don’t worry.” Marie said. “I couldn’t fall asleep now if you played Mozart and rain sounds.” She sat behind Ellen and stared out at the snow.

Ellen frowned. Her own nerves were very active and Marie’s anxious breathing was getting annoying. “You could make coffee, you know.” She said. “The noise would help keep the cougar away.”

Marie shook her head ferociously. “No way. I’m not leaving you in here to fight a cougar single-handed. Anyway, I can’t find my way without the lantern, so it’s not even worth fighting over.”

Ellen’s frown turned to a smile. Marie was very different, but her friend was true as gold. “Alright. How about a song then? A fast one, so we don’t fall asleep.”

Marie chuckled nervously. She started a common camp song and Ellen joined in.

Uncountable repetitions of campfire songs later, the sky began to lighten. Two very tired girls watched the sunrise with enormous relief.

Marie sighed, and then yawned. “Can’t come soon enough for me.”

Ellen grinned as she unloaded the rifle and turned off the lantern. “I feel kind-of silly, you know. We didn’t see a hair of the cougar all night. It probably didn’t even come within a mile of the cabin.”

Marie propped her fists on her hips. “Give me a break. We saved the horses! I hereby award you the Horse Protector Badge. You’re a hero.”

Ellen snorted, but her grin didn’t budge off her face. She walked out of the lean-to and froze.

The snow in front of the cabin was disturbed and showed something was dragged away clear as the new morning sun. Some of the snow was red with the blood of the slaughtered animal.

“Elly?” Marie asked, following her. She also stared at the snow. “What did that?”

Ellen swallowed the lump in her throat. “The cougar killed a deer here last night. Marie, I think we earned that Horse Protector Badge.”

Marie gulped. “Hey, I know we planned to stay here tonight and go back tomorrow, but what do you say we speed up the timeline a little bit?”

Ellen nodded. “Yeah. Let’s get breakfast and then pack up.”

They left the Lodge in good order and headed back toward Ellen’s home. The horses were none the worse for their night, while the girls kept holding back yawns. The trip home seemed to be much quicker, even though the two girls flinched at every sound. Ellen noticed Marie was quieter than she had been on the way to the Lodge, but she assumed that her friend was still shook by the cougar.

As they reached Ellen’s driveway Marie reined Jazzy to a stop.

“What is it?” Ellen asked, stopping Duke. “Do you see anything?”

Marie shook her head. “No, I just wanted to say something before we get back to your house. I’m sorry I’m such a coward.”

“Shut up.” Ellen said harshly.

“What?”

“You heard me.” Ellen turned in the saddle to stare at Marie. “You are not a coward. You are brave and totally awesome.”

Marie rapidly shook her head, tears forming in her eyes. “But I was so whiny last night! All I could think about was getting eaten. I was so scared!”

“So what?” Ellen asked. “Did you run? Did you hide in the cabin?”

Marie shook her head slowly this time.

“You stayed with me, even when I asked you to go back into the cabin. You kept me awake through the night.”

“So I sang songs,” Marie said sarcastically. “Big deal.”

“No really.” Ellen said. “I couldn’t think of a song, or anything to say. I would have fallen asleep without you, and then I would have been in big trouble. Duke might have been killed, or even I might have.”

Marie gave her a skeptical glance.

“I’m not trying to make you feel better.” Ellen said. “Marie, you’re my friend, and I won’t let you be run down by anybody. Not even by yourself.” She reached across and grabbed Marie’s shoulder.

Marie blinked back her tears and gave her friend a trembling smile. “You mean it?”

Ellen nodded. “You bet. Now, take all the self-critical thoughts that are in your head, and throw them away." She smiled at Marie and urged Duke forward. "And let’s get back to the house. I’m hungry.”

Marie lifted her chin and followed.