Chrysalis

Chrysalis

Robert Thorn

"There are darknesses in life, and there are lights, and you are one of the lights, the light of all lights."

― Bram Stoker, Dracula

Total blackness are my eyes open, Aria thought, although she could not recall her name. She blinked her eyes. Yes, they are open. She held her hand three inches in front of her eyes, nothing, just blackness. Am I blind? Where am I? Who am I? She felt panic rising within her chest. She was lying naked on her back. She sat up and felt around. She was on a cold, flat, hard surface. Stone or metal. She realized she had no idea where she was, who she was, or how she got there. Why can't I remember anything? A shiver ran through her. Something within told her to be calm; panic will not help. She focused on her breathing, but the trepidation was still there. She tried to think. What can I remember?  She remembered being immersed in a green, swirling mist. It filled her lungs. The mist was comforting yet terrifying at the same time. As the mist spun faster and faster, it squeezed her tighter and tighter. She had no control. A voice, not hers, said, "This is your birth." The voice was familiar. She was squeezed, gradually and painfully, through the channel within the spinning vortex. The spinning slowed. She floated in a green cloud, Tabula Rasa, a blank slate. 

Am I dead? Is this death? She recalled from somewhere, "For in that sleep of death what dreams may come?"[i] The panic grew. Is this Hell? Am I born into an eternal nightmare? She yelled out, "Anybody there?" She heard an echo. She was in a large room, maybe a cavern. On her hands and knees, she began to feel the surface of the floor upon which she kneeled. It was flat but with some irregularities like a slab of granite. Shortly, she came to an edge. She reached over the edge as far as she could but could not feel the bottom. She continued on her hands and knees, exploring the stone. It was square, about 10 feet on each side. She could not tell how high she was, could be five feet, could be a hundred. She lay back down exhausted and shivering and fell into a fretful sleep. 

She dreamed she tried to test the divinity of the gods by stealing their nectar and ambrosia. They had blinded her and bound her to a rock where every day for eternity, an eagle came and ate her liver, but every night it grew back only to be eaten once more[ii]. She awoke in a cold sweat and felt her side where her liver would be. Only a dream, she thought, hoped.

She was thirsty and hungry and continued to fall in and out of sleep. With no light, there was no way to determine the passage of time. How long she had been there, she could not tell. Hours, days? she thought. The only thing that changed was her thirst and hunger. Finally, she decided she had no choice but to climb down the side of her lofty prison. If only she had something to throw over the side to gauge the height, but she was naked, and the rock was barren. So I will have to chance it. 

"I will dare," she shouted. Her voice and the doubt echoed back to her. With great care, she eased herself over the side, lowering herself until she hung from her fingertips. Still, she could not feel the bottom. Too weak to pull herself back up, she was committed. "Here goes nothing," she said to the blackness and let go.

Dark and Light

We have forgotten the age-old fact that God speaks chiefly through dreams and visions.

– C. G. Jung

She felt herself drifting in an ocean of nothingness, with no sense of where she was, who she was, even what she was. She felt warm and safe. She had no desire to be anywhere else. Time was meaningless. Was this death, she wondered. There was a very faint voice coming from somewhere in the nothingness. She could not make it out but would have gone to it if she could. She was drifting in something; this was not nothingness. Cogito, ergo sum, I think; therefore I am[iii], she had read that. I must exist to doubt I exist. The voice seemed closer. It was a woman's voice, but she couldn't quite make out what she was saying. She heard "Nexus." She slept.

She dreamed. There was a city at the base of a majestic mountain. She was floating through the streets like the current of a gentle stream. There were people. They could not see her. She felt a presence gently guiding her. She felt at peace and was willing to go where she was taken. She came to a large door with a great dragon knocker. She reached for the knocker, but her hand just passed through it, as did she. She drifted through ornate, stone paths lined with exotic, fragrant plants. She was overcome by the beauty and had to remember to breathe. She halted to look more closely at the carvings in the stone walkway. Words were written in a strange alphabet. Somehow, she understood their meaning. The stones were telling the story of ascension. The journey of a Mahdi, one who travels between realities. There was a great war, death, and destruction. Then the path forked, leading in many directions as if the story had many possible endings yet to be determined.

She moved on, appreciating the beauty that surrounded her. The further she moved through the pathways, the deeper she fell into a complete state of relaxation, contentment, and bliss. Her essence became one with her surroundings. Never had she experienced such elation and joy. Finally, the gardens ended, and she was in a long, large hall. At the end of the hall were two great wooden doors with intricate carvings. The carvings showed a large valley centered on a deep and wide gorge. A dragon was emerging from the canyon with a wizard in full battle regalia. A green light was emanating from the chasm. In the right lower corner of the carving, a small young girl with long hair sat cross-legged, seemingly floating above the scene. Everything about the carving was familiar, and she wondered if it was her home. 

She asked the guiding presence, "Who are you?"

"I am you expanding into the fabric of everything." 

It is time to go back, she thought to herself. To what, she wondered.

Comet Cometh

 Pain. She felt a searing pain in her head. She reached for her forehead and felt something wet. Although she still could not see, she was sure it was blood. Then she remembered climbing off that hard, cold rock, more like fell, she thought. She felt more pain, this time in her leg. Then she heard the patter of footsteps, like those of an animal rapidly approaching. Terror. What now, she thought. Then it was growling and viciously biting at her face. She tried to fend it off, but she was too weak, and it would not be denied. Finally, she realized it was not biting; it was licking her face and whimpering. Must be a dog, she thought. She reached out to pet it and felt its long soft fur. She could not think of a dog with a coat like that. She was grateful for the company. It was friendly and affectionate. She hugged it for its warmth and the hope it gave her.

A light was approaching. Off in the distance, she heard what sounded like a human voice speaking gibberish and what sounded like a younger voice yelling back to the distant voice, also speaking gibberish. No, she thought, they are speaking a language, one I have never heard before.

The light came around a corner and illuminated the area where she lay. She could not see who was carrying the light, but she saw the strange animal running back and forth between the person holding the light and her. The animal continued to lick her face each time it returned, and she was greatly comforted by its presence. 

The person carrying the light was standing over her, speaking in that strange language. She said, "Who are you? Where am I?" He just shook his head from side to side, and she could see he was a boy wearing a miner's lamp. He knelt and offered her water from his canteen. She was not sure how long it had been since she had anything to drink, but as she drank, she could feel life returning to her. He removed his shirt and covered her nakedness as best he could. Shren said, "I am going for help, be back in a minute," and started to leave. Panicked that she would be left alone in the blackness and not understanding what he had said, she grabbed his pant leg and frantically begged him, "Please don't leave me alone." Shren could not understand what she said, but he understood the desperation and meaning in her voice. He took a candle from his pack, lit it, placed it next to her, and commanded, "Comet Stay!" The dog, if that is what it was, lay down next to her. She understood; this meant he would return and uttered, "Thank you, thank you." Shren understood her meaning. He lightly touched her shoulder, which was comforting, and departed.

Rescue

 Although it had only been a few minutes, Drek was greatly relieved to see Shren's light returning. As he approached, he was excitedly yelling something Drek could not quite make out. "Baba, there's a girl, and she is hurt."

"What do you mean, a girl?"

"A girl is laying on the stones with blood on her head, speaking in a language I never heard before. We need to do something right away!"

"Can she walk?" Drek asked.

"I don't think so. I think she has been there a while; she was very thirsty, cold, and shivering. I gave her my shirt, but she is naked. I left Comet with her."

"Alright, climb back through. Go back to the grow, bring the med-kit, food, more lights, and all the blankets. Have Torv help you carry everything. Have Udux contact Bralak at Cave Extrication and let him know we have an urgent rescue. Be sure he tells him we have restricted ingress. Shren's size max."

Shortly after, Shren and Udux returned with the supplies. "Shren, you know what to do, stop the bleeding, get her warm, water, and food." Shren did know what to do as working in the caves could be dangerous, and Drek had taught the boys first aid and survival skills from an early age.

Udux asked, "What do you want me to do, Baba?"

"Stay here; I may need you as a runner," Baba replied.

A Candle in the Dark

 The ring is magic; the ring is power

Like a candle in the dark for everyone.

The ring is madness; the ring is fire

And it burns with all the brightness of the sun[iv].

Again, the light was approaching. She thought about the difference between pain with hope and pain with despair, interesting how a word is just a word until it is so much more. She thought, in the future, she would bring hope to people's lives if she had the chance. It might be just a candle in the dark.

She was so glad to see the boy when he turned the corner carrying two large packs. He waved, and with great effort, she waved back. Initially, he had not noticed how frail she looked and thought maybe she was dying. She would have seen the look if not for the light in her eyes. He removed two thick blankets from one of the packs placing the first over her shivering body. Heavenly, she thought. Next, he was trying to move her. She wasn't sure what he wanted, but she was too weak to help or prevent whatever it was. He was attempting to tip her onto her side. She moaned. There was a sharp pain in her side. He pulled out some rocks and stones, smoothed the surface, laid out the second blanket, and gently leaned her onto the blanket. "Thank you, thank you," she said, although she knew he could not understand. But he did understand. "You're welcome," he replied in that strange language, and she understood.

Next, Shren inspected the wound on her forehead. It was a deep gash, and there was a lot of swelling. He opened his medkit and removed a few antiseptic patches. He proceeded to gently clean the laceration with the patches, which also contained a topical analgesic. Once he was satisfied the wound was clean, he applied a liquid binder and bandaged her head. "You'll be as good as new in no time," he said, but he was not sure, and she heard the doubt in his voice.

Drek and the boys had brought snacks prepared by Vridni. Each had a thermos filled with a Frosted Duchess, a mixture of sweet frozen cactus milk and hot chocolate sauce, topped with whipped, sweetened goat milk. Shren opened one of the Thermoses, helped the helpless girl lift her head, and said, "Drink." 

She was not sure what it was, but she was hungry enough she would have eaten anything. She swallowed it down before the taste could register. She had a memory of a Hot Fudge Sunday; this is better, she thought. O trespass sweetly urged, give me my sin again,[v] and finished the entire thermos, followed by a rather loud burp that echoed throughout the cavern. Comet, startled, jumped up, spinning around, looking for the source of this strange sound. She started to laugh, and so did Shren. Before she could protest, Comet licked the whipped, sweetened goat milk from her lips which made her laugh even more. It hurt to laugh, but she could not help herself. They laughed until she passed out from the pain.

Out of the Darkness

 She felt lifted. Bright lights were bobbing above her. She was being jostled, and there was pain. She was confused, and then she remembered the dog. Where was the dog? Was the dog okay? She was being carried on a stretcher. The lights were bright headlamps, and she could not make out their faces in the bright lights. They are bringing me out of the darkness, she thought. "Thank you, thank you, thank you," she muttered feebly." She did not know if they understood or could even hear her. Her voice sounded so weak. But her rescuers could hear the gratefulness in her voice. Then, as she fell into a heavy sleep, she thought, this must be my death.

Into the Light

 "A kind of light spread out from her. And everything changed color. And the world opened out. And a day was good to awaken to. And there were no limits to anything. And the people of the world were good and handsome. And I was not afraid anymore."

― John Steinbeck, East of Eden

 Before she opened her eyes, she knew she was out of that damp, dark catacomb. She felt sunshine and fresh air on her face. It was glorious, and she felt reborn. She was reluctant to open her eyes, fearing it was only a dream and she would awake to that horrible frigid rock in the dark. Slowly she opened her eyes. She was lying in a wonderfully comfortable bed in what looked like a warm and welcoming medical facility. Her bed and others were on a covered open veranda facing the sun. Flowering plants and green vines hung from the walls. The air was fresh and fragrant. What a strange but beautiful place, she thought. It seemed she was on a large ledge in an enormous canyon. The view was looking down the valley, the other side far in the distance. The canyon walls were covered with shrubs and hanging flowering plants. The beauty and peacefulness were almost overpowering. There was something familiar about it as if she had been here before. 

She felt drugged, and the pain was greatly diminished. She felt good. People were standing around her talking and looking at a handheld computer screen, doctors, she thought. A woman with a kind face noticed she was awake. "How are you feeling?" Again, that strange language, she thought. "Where am I?" They looked at each other and shook their heads. It was apparent they did not understand what she was saying. They were talking to each other, "I don't recognize her language," said the doctor. And she does not look like she is from around here, very pale. She is doing well, though. Her head is healing nicely, minor concussion, ribs will heal, and the leg wound has an infection that is under control. However, she was severely dehydrated and malnourished, which we will need to watch."

She drifted in and out of consciousness, for how long she had no idea. When she awoke, it was night. Like a vertical city, lights dotted the far side of the canyon. The sound of voices and music echoed joyfulness from near and far. She sat up and noticed she felt much better. Tubes were running from her arm. It was painful to sit up. I must have cracked a rib, she thought. There was what looked like soup and a drink on the table next to her. She tried the soup, filled with what looked like vegetables in a sweet coconut broth. It was heavenly.

[i]    William Shakespeare

[ii]   Greek mythology, Prometheus

[iii]  René Descartes

[iv]  The Alan Parsons Project

[v]   William Shakespeare