Not Yet

I opened my eyes to be disappointed by darkness. My body ached from kicking and punching the gelatinous fluid embracing me. Its gooey texture slowed my every struggle.

I was trying to escape from something. A monster? No. A murderer? Yes! I'm the sole witness to the heartless being's crime.

I couldn’t believe my eyes. I had witnessed a life departing from its physical body. But I’ll never forget how she was like when she could still breathe.

I first saw her walking down the street with a bag of groceries. She’s plump like pumpkin. Her hair was a robin’s nest, tied but unkempt. Her cheeks were dumplings, pale, and round. The only color on her face was her smile. Her belly, swollen and round like a basketball, made her every step a Herculean task.

Her eyes were bright that it never showed her distress within. Her eyes were smiling for her lips as she caressed her tummy. She was talking, but it’s inaudible. Yet, I know she’s whispering words of sweet love. I could taste candies on my lips. I wanted her to keep talking that way.

She turned to a corner and went on. She gasped for air at each step. The thing inside her sure was a burden. Why didn’t she let it go? Is it precious?

 At last, she reached her doorstep.

 “It feels so good to be home. I can finally rest from this heavy carriage.”

That’s what I thought I heard her say under her breath.

She locked the door behind and went to the kitchen. Her bag was filled with fruit and milk cartons. Chills caught my spine when she opened her fridge, it’s empty.

She sighed at the sight of the frost forming inside. She placed her food supplies in the snowy cavern—uncertain until when it will last. It’s okay, I don’t eat that much.

With heavy steps, she left the kitchen and went upstairs to her comfort zone, where her comfy bed had waited for several hours. Her room was nice. It’s warm as the sun on the beach. The tropical vibe would make someone linger longer. It gave off the mood of cool sea air penetrating every pore while on a hammock under some coconut trees.

Moments later, sleep lulled her to its realm. She looked peaceful. As she drifted off and sailed to the wondrous world of Hypnos, there’s pounding on the door. She’s not expecting someone. Who could it be?

She ignored it at first, but the banging grew frantic and louder. Whoever’s outside didn’t have any intention to stop.

She rose to check the door in her room. She locked the knob and secured the double locks with trembling hands. Her heart drummed in her chest in sync with the desperate knocking on the door downstairs. Beads of cold sweat escaped her pores as the warm room turned icy with fear.

She grabbed her phone and dialed 911.

It rang, but no one’s picking. What kind of luck is this? Too bad.

She tried again. And again. And again, until finally, someone spoke.

“Someone’s at my door. Please help me!”

“Okay, ma’am. Can you tell me where you are?”

“I’m in my room. I locked myself inside. Hurry!”

“Your address?”

“It’s 125— ahh!” then, there’s a loud thud.

“Hello, ma’am. Tell me what happened. Hang on. Give us your address.”

“Sorry, my mother disturbed you. It’s her mental condition kicking in. But she’s okay now, I gave her tranquilizer for a panic attack,” the man said and pressed the end button.

“Who are you?” the frail woman asked. Her voice hoarse due to a parched throat and dehydration caused by sweating. The temperature in her room increased with too much tension. She fell off the bed and slammed on the tiled floor. Salty tears and sweat washed her smudged face. Blood trickled down her and painted the floor red.

“I don’t have a name yet,” he smirked. “Would you like to give me one?”

“How did you get in?”

“How? I’m not really sure. I also want to ask you how I got inside.”

“Please,” her hand reached for him. “Help my baby.”

“Oh, that thing inside you?”

“Please, if I won’t be able to make it, at least my baby would.”

The man reached for her. But she hesitated when her eyes laid on his hands. He had no palm lines nor fingerprints. And worse of all, his face was vague. He seemed to have a face but there’s none—no eyes, no nose, no mouth.

Wait. There was a nose but it didn’t seem like one. He had eyes, but those didn't seem like eyes. He had a mouth, or was it just a hollow hole?

He was eccentric. He’s like a man, but he’s not yet fully developed.

“What are you?” she asked between short breaths.

The man didn’t reply. He stared at her with what seemed to be his eyes, confused by her question.

“I don’t know yet,” he said.

“Please, my baby.” Then, she passed out.

The man stared at her pale, almost lifeless body. He didn’t move. He’s just there watching her bleed to death.

My eyes didn’t deceive me. The poor lady died because she was startled by the enigmatic man’s sudden appearance that caused her to fall on the floor. She died not by that enigmatic stranger’s hands, but by his negligence. He didn’t help her. His flat affect reaction spoke for his demeanor. His face was a combination of I don’t care and I don’t know what to do although he literally didn’t have a face. Or did my eyes play tricks on me?

I couldn’t just watch it here. I had to do something. I had to call the police and an ambulance. I kicked hard, but I’m stuck in this confinement. A place where no light can infiltrate.

I cried for help, but no one came to our aid.

The man. He’s the only one who could bring her to the hospital because I couldn’t do anything. But he’s gone!

Where did he go? He vanished as quickly as he appeared.

I cried for help though it was only in my head. I cried for help though the combination of fluid and air inside my space choked me. My lungs were squeezed too. I was drowning in this watery- substance- filled room.

Help…

***

Toot. Toot. Toot.

What’s that sound? Where am I?

I opened my eyes to the blinding light. How long had I been in the dark for me to have difficulty adjusting? Where is the lady? Did somebody save her?

Again, I closed my eyes to calm my mind. Then, footsteps became audible along with whispers.

“We were only able to save the baby,” a female’s voice said. “We’re sorry you lost your wife. But you may see your baby now.”

The man, who I assumed was the husband of the dead wife, didn’t respond.

After having that conversation, the door clicked close. They left. Or did they? I could still feel a presence in my new enclosed space.

The silence was my music until a familiar voice spoke.

“You have fulfilled your duty as the newly designated assassin. You killed her without being caught. You are the baby inside her belly. You have passed the test for being a murderer even though you are not born that time yet.”

I couldn’t believe what he said. How and why would I kill my own mother? I opened my eyes only to be startled by who I saw. It was the man with a vague face only that he had vivid facial features this time. Is that my future face I’m seeing?

 “Oh, hello there, premature baby.”

The realization hit me. I wasn’t escaping from a monster nor a murderer. I was then struggling to be born even if it wasn’t my time yet, not yet.