19 comments

Fiction Drama Suspense

My trembling legs nearly gave away my attack of nerves. Thankfully, they were hidden under many layers of organza and tulle making up the lower half of my wedding gown. I pressed my knees together to quell the shaking.


The priest had already turned to me, waiting for me to recite the vows I had memorized and practiced countless times. Although his countenance was relaxed, his eyes flashed, revealing his impatience.


The man I was about to marry faced me, a small smile playing on his lips. My hands were placed in his upturned palms, and he gently squeezed my fingers in encouragement.


I opened my mouth and began.


“I, Christine, take you, Daniel, to be my lawfully wedded husband…”


Daniel and I met just over a year ago through mutual friends. I had sworn off men for a while because my last two relationships turned out to be huge disappointments. But he won me over instantly. He was handsome, smart, and very attentive. He was curious about my life, asking endless questions about my family, my job, and my friends. He took me out for lavish dinners and romantic picnics. He bought me little presents all the time, saying that when he saw something he thought I would like, he had to get it. But the thing I loved most about Daniel was that he was very demonstrative. He was always holding my hand, pulling me on his lap, rubbing my back. If we were in the same room, we were usually touching. He told me I was the most beautiful woman he had ever known. When he asked me to marry him a mere two months after we met, I didn’t hesitate.


“…to have and to hold from this day forward…”


Planning the wedding and our lives together was so much fun. We both came from big families, so a small event was out of the question. My sister was going to be my maid of honor, and Daniel asked his father to be his best man. I moved out of my small studio apartment and into his townhouse. We bought a new sofa and adopted a cat. Our future was going to be amazing!


Daniel took great pride in introducing me as his fiancée to everyone. He took marriage very seriously. “We promised our lives to each other. And a promise is a promise,” he said, and I kissed him.


“…for better, for worse…”


Being with Daniel was always an adventure, but he did have a serious side. We went skiing in the winter and swimming in the summer. We spent weekends hanging out with friends and evenings reading in bed, then making love for hours. I started to notice, though, that Daniel was always the one making plans…for dinner or vacation, even when we had sex. If I suggested something different, he shot my idea down. Once when I spontaneously invited friends over for a game night, he sulked so much that everyone left early.


“I expect you to check with me before making any plans that involve me,” he spat out the next morning. I was too stunned to argue.


When he was in charge of our time and our social life, Daniel was wonderful. He was kind and loving and dependable. He was the man of my dreams. When we were out with friends, he was the life of the party. Everyone loved him. Especially me. I wanted to make Daniel happy, and when Daniel was in charge, it made him happy. So I let him. Was that so bad?


“…for richer, for poorer…”


I had been working since I was 16 years old. My father had insisted that I get a checking account and learn how to manage my finances. By the time I was 22 years old, I owned stock and had invested in a friend’s landscaping business. When Daniel and I got engaged, he suggested that we merge our finances right away. “It’s what couples do!” he exclaimed, and I agreed.


But when we booked our photographer and gave him a deposit, the check bounced. Daniel had withdrawn over $2,000 from our account without telling me. When I asked him what he needed the money for, he refused to tell me. “It’s none of your business what I spend our money on.” I started to argue with him, but he got enraged and pushed past me with such force that I fell over and sliced my hand on the edge of the glass coffee table.


“…in sickness and in health…”


Daniel was always apologetic when I got hurt even though I “made him angry.” He was quick to point out that nothing would happen if I just didn’t instigate things. One time, I asked him where he went one Saturday that he disappeared for five hours. He flew into such a rage, calling me “an insolent bitch” and told me I should mind my own business. I told him that I only wanted to know because I was worried about him, and he rewarded me with a black eye.


Another time, we went to a very upscale restaurant where I knew one of the waiters. He ended up serving us and lingered at our table several times to chat. Daniel accused me of flirting with him. So Daniel left no tip and sent me to the hospital later that night with a broken arm.


After my cast came off, I finally got up the nerve to mention the idea of postponing the wedding. Contrary to what I expected, Daniel didn’t get angry. Instead, he very calmly took my hand in his, looked me in the eyes, and said, “Christina, when I asked you to marry me, you said yes.” He pressed my fingers together ever so slightly. “And I expect you to keep that promise.”


Over the next few weeks, I suffered a sprained wrist, sported multiple bruises, and needed 14 stitches for a gash on my leg. I’d like to say they were accidents, but they weren’t.


I loved Daniel. It sounded strange, but I really did. And I promised to marry him. But I also promised myself I wouldn’t let him hurt me anymore.


“…until death do us part.”


A promise is a promise.


I planned on killing him tonight.

January 02, 2021 05:10

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19 comments

Babika Goel
02:49 Jul 10, 2021

Hi Karen, the story runs well, it's well detailed and well-edited. To the point is what I mean. Every sentence hits well. I truly loved the story and would look forward to more. I had just one observation : I wondered if it would have come out well in case the guy didn't hit her. Some men don't and yet their presence and deeds force the same emotions rather more powerful because his deeds never come under the scanner and her emotions become subjective.

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Karen Kinley
04:02 Jul 10, 2021

Babika, Thank you so much to you for taking the time to read my story and give me such thoughtful feedback! You raise a very good point. Perhaps if he doesn't actually get physical with his abuse, it would make her question her own perspective about the relationship and keep it a little more subjective, as you said. I will definitely consider that for my next round of edits! Thanks!!

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I.B. Dunn
15:25 May 08, 2021

Hey there Ms Karen. I’m not sure how soon my latest, “The Eulogy,” will be approved. If you have a moment I would love your feedback. It’s always pure gold.

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I.B. Dunn
01:28 Apr 15, 2021

I wrote a new story this week. I have time to edit it before it’s approved. Any chance I can get some feedback? I’ll say nice things about you to everyone I meet this week. 😀

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Karen Kinley
23:57 Apr 15, 2021

Of course! And don't forget to tell them how pretty I am too! 😂

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I.B. Dunn
00:03 Apr 16, 2021

They already know that. 😉

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Sativa Schilber
03:08 Apr 06, 2021

Hey! Thank you for reading and liking my stories. It was not one of my best but I appreciate it either way.

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Karen Kinley
14:45 Apr 06, 2021

You are welcome! I really enjoyed it! I loved all the little details and truly wish I had a sprite of my own!

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I.B. Dunn
18:07 Mar 02, 2021

Hey there Ms Karen. True story, I came over here to make a joke about you telling me you would read my story and not doing it. I was going to say something like "A lesser man would just give up but I am not a lesser man." I was then going to ask you to not only read my last story but my most recent one as well. Then I read this and I immediately felt I might be mistaken for Daniel. 😊 So let me do this instead. I loved this story, I loved how you formatted it. I love how it became a journey lived in the space of a single wedding vow. ...

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Karen Kinley
20:16 Mar 02, 2021

Thom, you are persistent, my dear man! And I am trustworthy. I said I would read it, and I will! Right now on my laptop there are 42 tabs open. Yes, 42. And your story about Lily is one of them! I have started it twice and been distracted by my crazy life both times. But it is my intent--and promise--to read it and share my thoughts. Now since you have been kind enough to read two of my stories, comment on both, while also managing to make me laugh, I will certainly read your latest story as well. I suspect I will take a gander at all your...

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I.B. Dunn
21:01 Mar 02, 2021

I am when it comes to those who are worth being persistent with. (Am I supposed to end that sentence with a preposition?). I like having Reedsy friends who’s writing I enjoy and who’s opinion I value. Your writing drew me in. I’m a sucker for talent. 😀

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Karen Kinley
01:42 Mar 03, 2021

Flattery will get you everywhere! 😎

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Howard Seeley
04:17 Jan 14, 2021

Writing between the marriage vows was a nice touch. Still, I couldn't believe someone would marry someone and kill them on their wedding night. Sorry, but it doesn't sound realistic.

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Monica D
16:30 Jan 10, 2021

I really liked this story, I loved how it was written between lines and how we learned about daniel. I like how the ending had Christine saying that she's gonna kill Daniel in the end. Because of how Daniel acts I feel like he's planning to do the same for her, so good job, it was really enjoyable to read!

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Karen Kinley
16:42 Jan 10, 2021

Thanks so much! I enjoyed writing this one. I appreciate the comment!

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Monica D
16:46 Jan 10, 2021

I can see that you enjoyed writing it in your work, it brings the story to life when you enjoy making it. =)

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Rose Valerie
00:50 Jan 03, 2021

WHAT! that was amazing! At the start Daniel seemed nice and the love of her life. toward the end Daniel seemed controlling and he was beating her. the line that surprised me the the most was I loved Daniel. It sounded strange, but I really did. And I promised to marry him. But I also promised myself I wouldn’t let him hurt me anymore. “…until death do us part.” A promise is a promise. I planned on killing him tonight. Nice story!

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Karen Kinley
02:44 Jan 03, 2021

Thanks so much!!

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I.B. Dunn
13:20 May 15, 2021

Hey there, it's me again. I posted a story called "Thirteen Roses." and selfishly I'd love your thoughts while it can still be edited. If you have a moment can you give it a look? 😊

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