A Lover's Paradox

Evan Barnes was stunned to the point of bewilderment. Mere seconds ago, he had been sitting in his parked car in the driveway of his Cedar Point, Connecticut home. Now, although still sitting in his car, he was over a thousand miles away in Palm Hill, Florida, and twenty five years in the past.

He sat struggling to wrap his brain around the leap through time and space. He looked around at the unmistakable Palm Hill skyline. It looked exactly the way he remembered. Even the old Grand Hotel, which Evan saw with his own eyes get torn down to make a parking lot many years prior, stood proudly in the afternoon sun.

His heart beating out of his chest and his head dizzied, Evan opened his palm and looked down with astonishment at the small, black device he was holding. Nothing about it appeared remarkable. There were no ornate designs or hieroglyphs; it was a simple, black metal object with a single red button in the center. Yet, it had done what he was told it would do, which was transport him across time.

The object had fallen into Evan’s hands purely by accident. The cold, dreary Saturday in October had started like any other. Evan was at a park near his home, walking his dog, a hyper little Pomeranian named Sadie.

Actually, the dog belonged to his wife, Candice. Evan wasn’t exactly a pet person, but he most often got stuck with the dreaded job of walking Sadie in the brisk New England air. "The things you do for love," he'd say to himself each time he bundled up to take the dog out, Sadie romping and yipping around his feet, anxious to get going.              

While Sadie did her business behind a hedge, Evan blew some warm air into his hands in an attempt to fend off the encroaching numbness. At that moment he felt a hand on his shoulder, causing him to jerk in surprise.

Upon turning around, Evan saw a middle-aged man with slick black hair that was slightly thinning at the crown and grey at the temples. Despite the blistering cold day, the man wore no coat, only a wrinkled button up shirt, dress pants, and a crooked tie. He looked like every sleazy used car salesman on every car lot in the U.S. 

"Sorry I startled you, buddy," the man said in an exasperated voice. 

"No problem," Evan replied, feeling a bit skeptical about the stranger's intentions.

"What can I do for you?" 

"This is Cedar Point, Connecticut, right?"

"Right."

"Well, today is your lucky day."

"Really?" Evan's brow furrowed.

The man then removed a square, palm-sized device from his pants pocket and shoved it into Evan’s hand. A red button sat in the center, making it look like a video game controller. 

"What's this?" Evan asked, still trying to guess the stranger's angle. 

"It's a time machine, and it's all yours," the disheveled man explained. "I don't want no more parts of it. Just press the button and say where and when you want to go, and voila!"      

Evan chuckled at the absurdity of what he just heard, but before he could give the contraption back, the man was walking away briskly. 

"Be careful with that thing!" the man shouted back over his shoulder.

Putting the gadget into his coat pocket, Evan shrugged off the incident as a random encounter with a lunatic. As the city became more crowded, such occurrences were becoming more and more commonplace.

Nonetheless, Evan spent the rest of the morning daydreaming about what he would do if he could control time. He thought about observing different cultures and witnessing watershed moments throughout recorded history and perhaps even before. But there was one prospect that was more alluring than all others.

Evan longed for the chance to be his wife's first and only love. 

He had never loved anyone as completely as he did Candice. He adored her from her ebony tresses that were now streaked with silver to each and every curve of her body, and all things unseen. 

However, his love could be obsessive and irrational at times. He wanted to own her, and he became sick with jealousy every time he was reminded that she was so much as touched by another man.

This was Evan’s mindset as he sat in his car and flippantly pushed the button on the device in his grasp, and asked to be transported twenty five years back in time to the West Valley Mall in Palm Hill, Florida, where he had first laid eyes on Candice.

Slowly, Evan regained his bearings. He realized he was starting to sweat under the scorching Florida heat. He promptly unzipped and removed his heavy coat and sweater underneath. The navy blue V-neck that remained would do just fine.

He exited the car, looking around at the sights he hadn’t seen since he and Candice had moved away after completing college. If there was any question of whether he had been sent back in time, it was answered resoundingly when he looked around and saw a mob of teenagers sporting light-up sneakers and jeans that were ten times too big for their skinny frames. Moreover, there was not a smart phone in sight.

Walking through the main entrance of the mall, Evan heard a DJ's voice emanating from a nearby clothing store, introducing the smash new hit by The Verve, "Bittersweet Symphony." As the familiar violins swirled in the background, Evan thought, I'm back in the freaking nineties!

He contemplated what he was going to do next. He didn’t have a plan in place whatsoever to accomplish his goal. You don’t simply walk up to someone and announce, ‘Hey, I’m you from the future and I’ve come back in time to help you attain the life you’ve always dreamed about.’ Yet, he knew no other way.

"You're who?" the younger Evan said, a look of utter shock and disbelief plastered across his face.

The older man reiterated the far-fetched story, this time not leaving out any detail.

“You’re kidding me,” the young man said, examining the man who looked astoundingly like him, just with a few more wrinkles and a little less hair. “Who are you, really?” 

Seeing that he was getting nowhere, the older Evan convinced his younger self to have lunch with him and hear him out. "That way, we'll have more time to sort all this out."

Although not entirely convinced, the indescribable connection he felt toward the stranger piqued his curiosity. He also couldn’t help but smile broadly at the thought that he would one day be married to Candice.

Up to that point, the closest he'd gotten to his future wife was watching her stride past the bookstore, her three inch heels click-clacking on the mall floor, on her way to her job at Nordstrom. Evan was far too shy and awkward to approach a girl so perfect and self-assured.

They'd officially meet some years later when one of Evan's college buddies and a mutual friend assured him he was just her type. The rest was history.

But Evan always wondered what might have been if he'd had the guts to approach Candice back when he first saw her. Sure, he had been just a nerdy kid, but experience taught him that the love they shared could overcome most anything.

Now, his older self hoped it would overcome time and

space.       

 On his lunch break, young Evan sat at the food court, a half-eaten slice of pizza in front of him. He inspected the man’s face sitting opposite him, spellbound by the resemblance.

The older man continued to weave crazy tales of fate and time travel. Gradually, the narrative became less and less outlandish as the man went on.

Not only did he seem completely sane, he was able to correctly answer every question the young man threw at him.

He knew things no other person could, even the embarrassing secret of how he used to practice kissing on his sister’s Cosmetology doll head. Both Evans raked a hand through their hair and smirked coyly when that was revealed.

As the conversation evolved, the young man became convinced that his future self really had returned to lead him to the great love of his life. 

A bare-bones scheme was hatched between the two men for Evan to simply talk to Candice as she reported to work later in the day. The older man was convinced, and convinced his younger self, that nothing more than a simple ‘hello’ would suffice and the energy between he and Candice would take off like a rocket.

Awaiting Candice’s arrival, the older man took post behind a huge potted plant. The younger man was positioned at the entrance of Nordstrom’s, his stomach flipping and his nerve’s jumping as the minutes counted down.

Right on cue, Candice appeared.

The older Evan watched breathlessly. She was as radiant and pure as he remembered. As she got closer, the young man became visibly panicked and frozen with fear.

Afraid that the opportunity would be wasted, the older Evan yelled out, "Candice," and ducked back behind the plant.

 Candice turned and locked eyes with the young man. "Hi, do I know you?" she asked, looking him over up and down. 

"Um, I don't think so," he replied, smiling like a lovesick fool. 

"I could've sworn someone called my name," Candice said quizzically. "Are you playing games with me?"

Evan watched in the wings, rooting for his younger self. 

“Look at this face," the young man said, feeling a sudden burst of confidence. "Do I look like someone who would play with you?" 

"Maybe," Candice said, flashing her own grin. 

Peeking out from the foliage, Evan watched on as the pair exchanged flirty remarks. Just as he was banking on, the youngsters’ chemistry was undeniable. It was a good thing too, because there was no plan B.

Not content to simply let nature run its course and return to his idea of an ideal life, Evan stayed on and from a far, spying on the young couple's blossoming courtship.

There were deep conversations that lasted well into the night, romantic dinners, strolls through the park holding hands and long passionate kisses. Eventually, the fateful night arrived and it appeared that Candice would give her young sweetheart her most valuable gift.

Unbeknownst to anyone, Evan peered out of a cracked closet door in the basement of his family home while his younger self kissed Candice's lips softly and stroked her delicate face.

Her eyes widened and her hands trembled as she nervously anticipated her boyfriend’s next move. Tenderly, the young man began to undress her and explore her frame with his mouth. She trembled as the new sensations undulated across her body.

Still obscured by darkness, the senior Evan's blood began to boil like liquid fire. His eyes glared green with fury. He couldn't stomach the sight of Candice in the clutches of another man, not even his younger self. 

Finally, he was unable to contain the rage welling up inside. His logic became completely blurred and bent by his intense jealousy. He extended his arm toward the top shelf of the closet where he knew his dad's loaded pistol was stored.

He swiftly burst forth out of the shadows. The glint of the gun's metal flashed in the subtle moonlight. He aimed it at his younger incarnation and pulled the trigger.

Candice bellowed screams of terror and confusion as she found herself alone with her would be lover lying dead in her arms, a bullet in his back.

A bullet fired by no one.