Dear Diary

thursday 12 june, 1983, killibegs, donegal. ireland.

my dyri. I go beesh wit nan. i pelay sand. sand is gud. i lyk sand. mammy wash moovy. I see moovy to. I pelay sand tomoro.

tuesday 14 febuary, 1986, port na fad, westmeath. ireland

dear dairy. i am sad. today freddy dyed. mammy says it is not my fawlt but I no I killt him. I bringged freddy in bed wit me in the nite time beecos I thot he was cold, all alown in his fish bole. I rappt him up in my g i joes cote and put him on the pillo beside me. I do not want him to dye. Now he is gon. mammy tol daddy to dig hole in the gardin neer the shed so we cud put freddy dare to rember him like how we rember grandad. I assted mammy why we can not brin him to whare grandad is and she say that fish are not berried dare. I hope freddy is o k. I mis him. I am sad.

Monday 09 September, 1993, Hill 16, Bunroache. Laois. Ireland

Dear Diary. Well what a crap day. My first day in Saint Josophs. I didn't sleep well last night worrying about it. I woke up in the middle of the night with a thumping headache all thanks to Mam. Why did she have to leave me here? They have Hospitals in Laois don't day? Just not far enough away from me I suppose. Anyway school was just crap. Theres this girl called Mary Cole, yeah as if her parents should name her something so normal. What a beast! Nanny brought me in an hour late to meet my new teachers on their break so as not to disrupt their day and then after, I had a meeting with Mr. Commerford, the principal. I did not like him. He is fat and smelly with a massive nose and his eyes are too close together. Mam always says to never trust a man with eyes that are too close together. He gives off the distinct impression that he absolutely hates what he does. Why do people like this always get jobs of authority? If I hadn't been abandoned by my own parents then I would probably fear him, but no. They all insisted that I mingle with the other kids in playground before I went back into class with them after the break. My teachers name is Lucy Green. Stupid name for an intelligent lady. She seems like one of these people that just wants to help the poor idiots that go to school here. She has a passion for maths and geography she says...so what does that mean for the rest of my school work, maybe I can bring that up with nanny later and she won't send me back there. Nanny always says, what you put in is what you get out, but does that not work both ways then? Anway, Saint Joes is an awful place. Hell on earth may be more accurate. Saintly it definately is not! I am actually in shock as I write this. Just to give you an idea, from the outside it is a grey looking building with rows and rows of long windows, and when you enter you go in through this big old wooden door that creaks on its old hinges, like it is letting out the screams of all the children like me that were forced to go there against there will. Nanny is calling. I'll be back Diary.

Monday 09 September, 1993, Hill 16, Bunroache. Laois. Ireland

Okay I am back. I had to hang out the washing. I can't believe Mam left me here. This town is a joke. I love my Granparents but come on, was I that bad to be with that both my parents would rather work hundreds of miles away? Anway getting back to the school. Well it is more like a prison than a school. The ceilings are high, and the corridors echo, my dad would have loved them, he always likes making monkey noises when we, no, I won't talk about him, he left me too. There is dark brown paint on the walls and not one picture that looks happy. Just depressing Jesus pictures. What else? Oh the smell, I wish I could somehow transfer it to your pages Diary, because it was so bad, my writing will not do it justice. It was like old gone off rotting cabbage, it was terrible, thinking about it, I will probably have another headache tonight. Yeah, the smell was real bad. It was like the hospital ward where I used to go with Mam when I was off school, that strong smell of old sick people. Actually just thinking about it makes me want to vom. Maybe they could bottle the smell and send it out to Iraq to use against Saddam that would show him. I complained to Nanny about it when I came out after but she told me not to worry about it. I will be here for a while so I have to learn live with it she says. It's September but it is still really cold. Saint Joe's hasn't been updated yet can you imagine that, they are still using fires to heat the place! So on top of that smell, you also have the smoke to worry about. I'm well used to that though, what with Nanny's old Stanley, but the two smells together, Jesus would weep! Speaking of weeping, that brings me back to Mary.

Wednesday 09 March 1996 Naas. Kildare, Ireland.

Dear Diary. We moved to Naas. It seems nice enough. Moved into our new house today. I found a pair of roller skates in the attic. Wonder who they belonged to? Paula bit me on the bum today. Frank told Mam and Mam slapped her really really hard. I felt a bit bad for her, but only a bit. It really hurt. Stuart bought us icecream, it sucked.

Monday 02 June 1998 Naas. Kildare, Ireland

Hey Diary. I punched Bryan in the face today. Just before our Leaving Cert English exam. I broke his nose. He had to go to A&E. I dislocated my finger. Must remember not to curl my fingers in so much next time. He deserved it though. He had also started it by the way. Imagine getting upset because your supposed best friend took your cousin's virginity. If I was him I'd be using the time in the emmergency room to look at myself, because that just isnt normal. I did have to write the entire paper with my left hand though, it's a good thing I learned how years ago in Ms Green's class after Scary Mary had pushed me down the stairs. Assclown! Probably won't get a good result now. If I fail, I swear to god, I'll punch him again!

Saturday 07 September 2006, Barcelona. Spain

Dear Diary. A lot to tell you. First off, I did it. I got the job in Spain. Extatic doesn't even come close. I feel so free. I am so glad to get away from her. That toxic part of my life is over and done with and I am so happy with my decision to leave. Going to miss the family though. It is going to be an adventure though. Hopefully... I mean, do I know anyone? No. Do I have a place to stay yet? No. But these are just minors right. I have the job and I start tomorrow. God I'm nervous. But in other news Frank's wife Anne had the baby. I am an Uncle again but to a baby girl this time. Tilly. She is very cute. I havn't met her in real life yet but I will see her when I go home for Christmas.

Tuesday 18 October 2006, Barcelona. Spain

Dear Diary. In a word, awesome! I did the show last night and I have to say, it was the most fun I've ever had doing Am-Dram. I am so glad Juan talked me into it. Wooowwwwwzzzzaaaa!! I got all my lines right, even the dances, I'd like to thank God, The Universe, The Aliens and The Others for intervening, I'm eternally greatful to you all. After the show, we had a big cast party back at the apartment, drinks food and good conversation followed by a mission to the dvd shop to open a new account and rent out High School Musical, you know Carmen, the girl I have a massive crush on, well her family went to the premiere, so we felt it would be nice to make her feel better about not being there by renting it out and having a big Karaoke sesh wahhhoooo, so we did... but it wasn't that wahoo, drinks mixed with singin hmmmmmmmmm not sure. But I did kiss Carmen. We are going out tonight to a lesbian club with a friend of Carmens. Not quite sure what to expect, will we kiss again? Will we go further? Exciting times Diary. That's for sure!

Sunday 17 May 2007, Naas. Kildare. Ireland

Dear Diary. I forget to tell you, Paula had swine flu. Can you even believe that?! She was really ill, I think what happened was, she got a really bad dose of normal regular flu and then it attacked her lungs and because she is such a heavy smoker and her lungs are just so weak already, it seems she was ripe for it, but thank god she has finally finished on the tamiflu medication they had her on and she is a whole hell of a lot better now. I met her yesterday for tea and she seemed fine to me, so that is lucky. It was really surreal and scary though. 18 people in her class got it and they had to shut the whole University down for 3 weeks, by the time Paula had been diagnosed she'd already had it for almost 6 days and she had already almost passed the infectious stage so I can't even begin to imagine how man people she gave it too.. sooooo bad. There are so many cases in Ireland right now...they will all get it eventually I imagine. Just another one of those things. As long as I don't bring it back to Spain with me on Wednesday I'll be happy.

Also, on a side note Diary. Sorry I havn't made many entries lately. And if their are weird spaces and missing words in the last few its because I fell asleep watching Berlin on my laptop and it fell on the floor. I'm going to have to invest in a new computer when I get back to Alicante.

Tuesday 19 April 2008, Alicante. Spain

Mam died today.

Friday 16 December 2011, Alicante. Spain

Dear Diary, I just got married. Bit weird me writing now is it? Yep, that's because she is in the bathroom. She has been in the bathroom for, oh, about 2 hours now. Is it wrong of me to feel like this was maybe a huge mistake? I don't know, it was the hesitation in her, ''I do'' and the way she felt during the first dance. Don't get me wrong, I was nervous too. When the priest asked me the question I nearly vommed in my mouth and when I signed the register afterwards, the shake in my hand was so bad that I thought to myself, if this doesn't work out I could probably get this marriage anulled on the grounds that someone else had signed my name for me because what I scrawled down on the register wasn't even close to looking like Robert Lee. Was that a sign? What is she doing in there though? Seriously? I have knocked like 6 times but there's no answer. Wait I hear the

Friday 13 September 2015, Dublin. Ireland.

Well Diary, it's 3.15 am. I have to be up in about 2 hours but I said I would get this done now. Have the laptop here in one arm and Gemma in the other. She has just fallen asleep. Let's see how long it lasts this time. At least Jamie sleeps most of night and only wakes up to feed, that's a godsend. If they were both up at the same time I think I'd kill myself. Joke. But seriously I'd kill myself! Anyway I have the big Peterson presentation today. Wish me luck. By the way Diary, How impressed are you that I have written all this typing with one hand. Huzzah!

Monday 03 April 2020, Saint James Hospital. Dublin. Ireland.

Dear Diary. Well it's another day in isolation. Really want to go home. Cough is not as bad right now and the fever is gone down a bit but I am still having difficulty breathing. Only seen the doctor today so far. It's almost 5 oclock. If the Virus doesn't take me first the lonliness will. Wish I could see Carmen and the kids. Anyway. Same time tomorrow?