Magic Customer Service

Juan stared at his computer screen, awaiting the next customer to come in. It was a slow day in Magic Customer Care: Crystal Chat Department. This was a second career for Juan. After failing somewhat miserably in his first career, he was rather motivated to make a good impression at this one. He had been working at Magic Customer Care for close to three years. He enjoyed his job for the most part. He knew that he only actually chatted with less than 1% of all witches, wizards, and non-binary magicians in the world. That small amount of customers had to be the absolute worst magic users throughout history. His computer chimed letting him know that he had a chat ready to be accepted. "About time!" he thought to himself. He clicked the accept button. This put the customer through to his computer. "Hello! My name is Juan. Thank you for calling Magic Customer Care. How may I assist today?" "Uh... Hi, wand. My name is Lillith. I'm working on a very important spell. I need more magic, but I feel I'm already paying too much for the magic I already have. Can you lower my rate, and increase my distribution?" Juan appreciated that his customers could not see his face on their crystal balls. All they saw was a floating MCC logo. This was the most common request of MCC, more magic for less. He rolled his eyes before responding. "I understand your concern Lillith. Not many of us considered the cost of magic before actually using it. Magic costs are controlled by the old gods in your state. If you would like I can get you the contact information for the old god in your state." "No, just lower my rate. The new gods are offering me a lower rate for more magic distribution." Of course, one of these customers. Juan braced himself. "Not a problem. I'm happy to look over your account here with us. I'll just need to review some questions with you. Just keep in mind that we may not always be able to match the rates of the new gods, but we do offer more value than other distributors." "K" "Alright, Let's get into it. I'm showing that you live in Miami, Florida. Is that correct?" "My parents live in Miami, I live in the moment." Juan rolled his eyes and groaned inwardly. "You mentioned your parents, however, they are not listed on your account. Do you practice magic in their house?" "No, I have a completely secluded studio in the basement." Juan was quite familiar with this trick. He knew what to do. "That sounds nice! I wish my parents would have let me had a secluded room. I just want to remind you as part of your pact with MCC that we do require all residents to be listed on the policy, even if they are non-magic users. I don't need to add them now, but I will need to flag your account for followup with the Magus Board." "I can't believe this! This is just absolutely rediculous!" Juan hated when customers misspelled words. Which he still didn't understand considering it was a speech-to-text based spell that allowed the connection. "I contacted you for a better rate, and you are trying to steal my resources." "I assure you Lillith, I am only attempting to help. It's much better to know that you are covered in case of orc, goblin, or imp attack having the correct allocation for all household members protection. Let's move on. I'm showing you are listed as single, a witch apprentice, and with a secondary education certificate from Chufe High School. Is that correct?" "Yes, Quan, that is correct. I don't see how that is relevant at all to my distribution rate." "Distribution rates are directly reflective of all the information on the account. The old gods work in mysterious ways. It's not easy to breakdown how they assess the amount of magic to resource ratio that they determine is accurate. Suffice to say, they are quite skilled in assessing accurate distribution rates. I'm showing that you have elected for the most basic magic package. Did you have any questions or changes regarding that package?" "No, I just want to hold on to my resources, while getting more magic." "Did you want to upgrade to the choice package? It allows for more magic use and would help with your current situation. It may cost a bit more resources to perform your spells, but as we know magic comes at a cost." "No." "Not a problem. I'm showing we only have one option left. It's the magic monitor program. It is a small magical talisman that you wear around for 6 months. It assesses how you actually use magic, and it tailors your rate specifically to your situation. It's not an immediate reduction in resources, but over time you can see a pretty significate decrease in rate. Some magic-users do see an increase in rate, but that only happens when they are common misusers of their abilities. Does this sound like a program you would be interested in?" "No, just lower my rate." "I understand. I want to thank you for allowing me to take the time to review your information. I've determined that according to all the information that you have provided to us, you are receiving the best rate possible. Thank you so much for being a loyal MCC customer" "You were no help. I'm going to be switching to the new gods." The computer emitted a disconnection chime. Juan grimaced at the screen. Sometimes he wished he could just tell his customers what sacrifices the new gods required. Professional deity courtesy rules applied, though. You couldn't go bad-mouthing a deity without expecting some sort of retribution. Juan had the first-hand experience as his first career was as a communication and marketing manager working for an old god's executive staff. The most surprising thing about his career shift was that he made better resources and received much less stress working for the old god conglomerate than he ever did on the old god's staff. Oh well, gotta shake it off and move on to the next. Juan flagged the policy for extra residents and closed out of the account. The computer chimed again indicating a new chat. Juan hit the accept button one more time. "Thank you so much for quoting with MCC. My name is Juan. How may I help today?" This was a sales call. "Hey, John! I'm Mike. I was just wondering if you could access my account with the new gods and check to see that I'm getting the same distributions with you on this quote." Juan decided to let this one go, there were way too many people who either thought they were clever in showing they knew a little bit of Spanish or just plain old racist refusing to admit that Spanish was an actual language. "I'd be happy to double-check your quote with you. Do you have a breakdown of your current policy that we can go line by line to see if you are getting the same distributions? We, though still powerful, cannot access your accounts with other gods due to your security." "Uh... No. I'll have to get that. Thanks though! Adios!" Juan narrowed his eyes and gritted his teeth. "Thank you for chatting in. If you need anything, don't hesitate to reach out!" The computer chimed signaling the disconnect. He took a deep breath. He knew that people reduced him to a stereotype due to his name, but he didn't have to stoop to their level to correct them. He lived his whole life with people like that. Correcting one person wouldn't change how the rest of the world treated him. At least there was some satisfaction in knowing that when he chatted back, Juan would not be the rep. he would chat with. Juan marveled at the fact that, despite the step down in cultural respectability, he had more support and more care from his coworkers then when he worked for the old god. He was no wizard, shaman, priest, or spin doctor but in his own way, he made a difference in the world. He helped people wether people acknowledged it or not. Juan could deal with the tedium, the racism, and whatever else may come just by remembering that when disasters happen MCC is there to help make sure Magic-Users can protect those who need protection. It wasn't his job to save the world. It was his job to help save those who can save their personal worlds.