Coffee, Tea or Me

“This Christmas I bought everything already! There’s nothing left to buy!” complained Avery Dulles, the II.

“Truth be told! Yes! I think you hit the nail right on the head! That is your problem,” the wizard on vacation affirmed as he sipped from a hot mint tea served with a too small saucer. His eyes were downcast, staring at it. If I laugh or cry, this tea will not burn just my nether regions! He thought.

“Problem? I never said I had a problem,” sniffed Avery. “What are you hitting on here?”

“Oh, nothing! Nothing at all! I’m on vacation, mind!”

“What use is a wizard on vacation? I thought we were friends!”

The wizard very carefully placed his tea on the mahogany tea service. Janice, his servant, looked on. She thought to take it back to the kitchen to freshen it up, but one look from the wizard convinced her not to.

“What we have here is an unsolvable conundrum!” the wizard said. “Whatever you do, you will still have a problem.”

Now, Avery Dulles wished he had a tea to fuss over. Reading his mind, Janice rushed into the kitchen, nearly tripping over the executive tea maker, who almost fell upon seeing her fright! The two were so flustered, apologizing and being apologized to. It was something that the cleaning rats snickered at, which annoyed the cook, who thundered:

“What must I do now!”

The wizard’s ears twitched. Ever so slightly. He fixed Avery with his eyes and, with his far away, unearthly voice, said:

“If I must stop being on vacation, you will regret it.”

Avery Dulles didn’t know what to say. So, he said nothing.

#

Janice had a problem. She didn’t dare tell the wizard. She knew better than to. “I will never be more than a servant! Is this my lot in life?” Her pretty eyes welled with tears, and she reached for her apron, which one of the cleaning rats held up for her. The cleaning rat was smiling, but you wouldn’t know it. Rats don’t smile. It would interfere with eating, which is the one thing they are bred to do. Still, he tried his best, his long yellow teeth glistening.

Janice stopped crying. Instantly. “What am I doing? I must dust so you can clean!”

She happened to dust near Avery Dulles the II.

“Excuse me, sir. I’ll only be a moment.”

“What?” Avery laid his newspaper on his lap. He had lost his place in the news flash “How to be a Better Person” article he was reading. “Why disturb me? Can’t you do this somewhere else?”

“No sir, I can’t,” replied Janice, surprising herself.

“We’ll see about that!” harrumphed Avery.

#

The wizard stayed in his room. He was missed. A fact that the wizard knew too well.

The hotel brochure lacked the most basic information about what guests might show up! How can this be? A relaxing vacation was what was promised. The blonde woman on the hammock with the ice-cold drink on the cover of the brochure was nowhere to be found. Heavens! Too many things are not what they should be!

There was a knock on the door.

“Come in!” the wizard shouted angrily.

Janice nearly fainted but opened the door and stood halfway into the room.

“Is there anything I can get you, sir?” she quavered.

This was something new, the wizard thought.

“Why, Janice, you are shaking,” he marveled. “Whatever is the matter?”

“Nothing, sir! I mean, there is something.”

“Tell me.”

#

It was all hands on deck. A fire in the hotel storeroom had broken out. The wizard could not make it right. Avery Dulles, the II, called 911 and rushed out into the street.

Janice got a fire extinguisher. The one no one ever looked at. Inspected last year, the tag said. Though no one ever read the tag. Neither did Janice. She didn’t know how to use a fire extinguisher!

Somehow, the rats knew this. There was so much smoke in the kitchen that one of the rats tripped Janice while another rat tried to make off with the extinguisher. The extinguisher rolled over that rat, knocking it senseless. Yet another rat was on the cutting table giving instructions that it was getting from the cook’s tablet, which was used to look up recipes, jumping up and down on links on the screen.

He was trying to speak. “Don’t open the storeroom door. The fire will flash over!” But it sounded like “on’t ‘pen ‘e door @^%!!!!” because he got too excited and nearly fell to the floor.

Janice swore, which stunned the rats. She grabbed the extinguisher again and barrelled towards the storeroom.

“EEEEK!” all three rats screamed.

#

There was no smoke out on the street. No commotion whatsoever. Even the fire trucks hadn’t arrived.

“Where’s Janice?” demanded the wizard.

Avery was speechless. He shrugged his shoulders, which was a huge mistake. The wizard slugged him.

“We’re going back in to get her!” the wizard said in his very human voice. “Get moving!”

It was hard to find the kitchen. Thankfully, the storeroom door was still closed and locked. To keep rats out. But Janice was not to be found.

There was still a lot of smoke, and the kitchen was extremely hot, but the storeroom was built with cinder blocks and steel, and it became more of an oven with limited fuel than an out-of-control fire.

We must be on the lookout for her!

***

Janice had to fill in for a waitress who was ill. She hardly knew what to do. She was not trained for that job. She had to keep track of tips and make out bills. Work on the computer. Everything was going wrong. The cook was angry with her because she kept mixing up the orders. And food was being sent back because it was cold or who knows what. It was a nightmare.

Shirley, another waitress, took her aside. “You know, just do your best. By the time you know how to do everything, you might never have to do this job again!”

Janice thanked her and started feeling better. She leaned for a spare moment on a chair in her section, looking over to the entrance of the hotel restaurant. It was Avery Dulles the II, with a Time magazine folded under his arm. He was headed towards Shirley’s section, but when Shirley greeted him and pointed to a table, he suddenly changed his mind and went towards where Janice was standing.

Great! Janice thought. Incoming.

“I trust the hotel manager has spoken to you!” he breathed as he sat at a table for six instead of just two.

“What can I get you?”

“Coffee. Hot. Two creams. One sugar. And bring a menu. I might want to eat something.”

Janice turned away and made a face at Shirley. Shirley laughed as Janice made a hand gesture that Avery couldn’t see.

An older man with kind eyes and a long beard sat down. He held out his hand and touched Janice’s arm as she was about to go by him on the way to the kitchen. With a twinkle in his eye and a slight smile, he asked:

“Could I trouble you for a mint tea?”

“Certainly!” replied Janice. “But could you do me a favor? Do you see that gentleman over there reading Time magazine sitting at a table for six? We are about to have a lunch rush. Do you mind sitting with him? I would really appreciate it.”