How did you meet again?

Mary Lou hadn’t been out of Vermont in 10 years since she moved there in retirement. It seemed like the kind of place an aging hippy would fit in, plenty of organic this and that and she even joined a drum circle. However, she had no idea how long the winters would be. She felt like she was living in a snow globe with daily snow showers and frigid temperatures, and her without all-wheel drive. Cabin fever set in sometime in early February. Thank God her small town just got high-speed internet and Mary Lou discovered the magic of the world wide web. There was email and Facebook and Instagram and youtube, all helped pass the time and allowed Mary Lou to connect with old friends back home. 

  The email read, "Hi Mary Lou, hope you are well (happy face, kissy face). I just got back from an amazing trip to Africa, enclosed photos from the safari. You should take a trip, there are plenty of bargain travel sites that offer amazing deals. Seriously, Mary Lou, you should do it. "

I should, I really should do it, I’m not getting any younger and I’ve never really been anywhere besides Disney and Cape Cod. Hmmm, CheapskateTravel.com looks interesting. 

Are you looking for the adventure of a lifetime on a budget? 

Why yes that is exactly what I am looking for.

You can expand your horizons and see the world for less than 100 dollars a day. 

Seriously, I can? Tell me how.

Click now to see our amazing deals and join our cheapskate travel club for bargain travel to exotic lands. I could not resist, I clicked. After entering my name, age, weight, email, phone number, food preferences, estimated yearly income, and value of my current home I was directed to a list of travel choices.

Thailand - A 5-day vacation to exotic Thailand, 3 of which will be spent traveling. Sounds exhausting.

Iceland - winter travel where the nights are long and the days pretty much non-existent.

Sounds dark.

Cancun - spring break, visit the best clubs and watering holes and dirty dance the night away.

Sounds wild.

Serengeti all-inclusive vacation for 2 - try glamping, the safari of your dreams sleeping under the stars in your own folding tree hammock.

Sounds painful.

Antarctic Expedition, come for the pristine wilderness and beauty. Enjoy hiking, snowshoeing, and mountaineering off the beaten track.

Sounds physically challenging and cold.

Columbia - The drug wars of the eighties and nineties are over and Columbia is no longer considered a murder hot spot

Sounds risky.

Dollywood - Cabin packages that meet the budget of even the biggest cheapskate

Wait this could be the one.

In the heart of the Smokeys, your Dollywood adventure includes a charming cabin and free tickets to the Dollywood theme park. Don't delay there are only a few Dollywood vacations left at this special one-time price. Earn points towards your next Cheapskate vacation if you act now. 

Do it, Mary Lou. Don't overthink this, just do it. Do it now before you change your mind.

This is a last-minute vacation deal with some travel restrictions, do not hesitate and lose out on this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to experience the one-of-a-kind theme park built by our beloved Dolly!

Who doesn't love Dolly? Click, enter credit card number, booked …. Done. I’m going to Dollywood!

The flight wasn't bad although it made 2 stops and ended up taking 15 hours. Who would have thought of traveling from Vermont to Tennessee by way of Las Vegas and Miami? Those Cheapskate travel guys sure know how to save you money. And ‘Up in the Air’ airlines, I had never even heard of them. No frills, no movie, no magazines, no pillow or blanket, no free beverage or bag of macadamia nuts, and no legroom. They do however sell happy meals on the flight so you won't starve and after the first 10 hours, I was more than willing to pay twenty dollars for a cold cheeseburger, soggy fries, and a surprise toy. I always like it when the pilot has a little grey hair, it shows his experience but the ‘Up in the Air' pilot actually had a walker and his own nurse. I for one was glad she was with him to help him find his way to the cockpit. Is there such a thing as too much experience? The Uber driver was prompt and professional and rather good-looking, he drove me directly to my charming cabin which actually looked more like a run down trailer. "Bye-bye, Rocky, and good luck with your acting career. "Rocky was an extra in "Dolly Parton's coat of many colors", a made-for-TV drama based on a true story by Dolly. He dreamt of eventually making a living off his career as an extra in Tennesee TV dramas. I was greeted by Marsha, a large woman dressed casually in a pink velour tracksuit, she put out her Virginia slim when she saw me approach and introduced herself. "Welcome to Old Smokey Cabins. The pool is closed this time of year on account of its not heated. We provide hot water free of charge between 7 am and 10 am and again in the evenings from 6 to 9. You can use all the cold water you like all day long. We got sanka in the office if you're a crack, I mean coffee addict like me. We also sell peanut butter crackers if you get the munchies. Hope you enjoy your stay with us, let me know if you need anything, like sheets or towels or peanut butter crackers. Oh, and this is Jake, he’ll be bunking down with you. The cabin is a double and to offer it at that discounted price, we hada give you a roommate. Ok, well enjoy your stay." 

"Thank you, Marsha, I will be needing sheets and a towel if it's not too much trouble. Wait, who is Jake again?" Jake, Jake, what the hell. I didn't want to bunk down with Jake… dear god, what have I done.

Jake smiled, 'a fellow cheapskate, nice to meet you, roomie'.

 Although Jake did not send out psycho killer vibes I knew nothing about him other than he was cheap.. "Now Jake, I really had no idea I would be bunking down with a stranger and I do not think this will work out for me. Nothing against you but I think I may just hop in an Uber and find a hotel."

"Good luck with that, You need to book months in advance., Dollywood is kind of a big deal you know. Don’t worry, I’m not a psycho killer."

How do I know that?"

"Well, I guess you'll just have to take my word for it."

And so I did, I took Jakes's word for it. And there we were, Me and Jake in our tiny, rustic, might even refer to it as ramshackle but most definitely not charming cabin, sharing a bathroom and hot plate. Eating peanut butter crackers and drinking Sanka. Bedrooms so close I could hear every snort, belch, and fart. Me and Jake, the budget conscious stranger together for 5 days. Listening to Dolly Parton on the radio while facing our fears and mustering up the courage to ride both the barnstormer and the dizzy disk and eventually laughing at our bizarre situation. The funny thing is we both discovered we hate country music and roller coasters. Our next adventure will be much more exotic, maybe Niagra Falls, the Canadian side.

"So, kids, this is how I met my new husband Jake."