an introvert and an extrovert - still friends, just not talking

Submitted into Contest #104 in response to: Write about an introvert and an extrovert who are best friends.... view prompt

71 comments

Friendship Sad Coming of Age

Maybe we could have lasted if you had different ways to cope.

Maybe we would still be talking all day, good morning and goodnight texts, smiley faces, hearts, promises, hopes.

Your honey-sweet words and thoughts traveled a long way to me, flying through state after state, sent only to me, and I would excitedly open every package. Every how was your day and stay safe, every tidbit of information about yourself, I would save in my precious storage room just for you.

You said we would be friends forever.

You said we would meet one day and walk through forests and have picnics and watch sunsets and run around in the rain at night.

You promised things to me, and I would think of them when life formed a cave around me, my hopes for us being the sole diamond in my life's mine.

Two months later, I'm just a former friend to you.

If I get over losing you, hearing your name will be just a papercut, my heart slit by the very letters you sent me. A stab of pain, discomfort, and then I'll forget all about it.

I dread the day that I'll think of you and remember you as a former friend, not my friend, not my best friend, just someone I used to know.

The day that my relinquishment of you will trample upon our memories together is one I never hope to face.

Do you think the same way?

Or has that day already come for you?

A bad habit of introverts, a coping mechanism you had, one I came to curse while I sobbed.

You, someone I came to prioritize over many friends I'd known for much longer than the two months I'd known you, someone who I prayed for before I even prayed for myself, someone who I'd worry about and smile with and cry for.

You, my friend, knowing me perfectly, feeling close without ever having met.

You, my moon, my magic, would tell me I was your sun and then leave me for weeks.

You would cut everyone off.

To me, you and your imagination were like a silk scarf, illuminated and shapeless, vibrant colors melting together, changing by the way it faced the light, soft and comforting.

If I threw your silk scarf over the universe, clothing all of the stars and planets in the sparklingly magical world that comes with you, there would never be enough universe to cover-that was the depth I saw of your imagination.

And every time things got too hard, you would crumple up your silk and shove it inside the hollow shell of your room, piling laundry over it, ignoring it until you felt right again.

Was I like a silk scarf to you too? Or had I always just been another piece of laundry, unknowingly burdening you and your imagination?

I repeated to you every night that I was there for you.

I wished your ways to cope with everything going on were different, that instead of shoving it all inside and mindlessly playing games all day, you could rely on others, share with others, instead of cut them off.

My other friends hate you by now, they despise the pain you’ve put me through.

Every tear I shed about you is another drop of water in their glass of hatred for you.

And yet I still love you, I still miss you, I still plan what I’d do upon meeting you, I’m looking years ahead, and maybe you’re wishing you hadn’t done the same, that you hadn’t made promises to me for when we were adults.

Maybe I just got too connected to someone I had a one in a million chance of meeting. Maybe it was that we just needed someone, not each other, just someone, and we came across each other at the right time.

Right time but wrong person, maybe.

I know that isn’t true.

Maybe our relationship was the perfect person but the wrong time, a time when your introversion had its stabbing blades, slashing at your own silk scarf, cutting people out of your life with not even a sprinkle of hesitation.

Why didn’t you let me share your pain?

I patiently withstood your stabbing blades, and every time you came back, I’d forgive you, I’d tell you that it was okay.

A bad habit of extroverts, a natural instinct, maybe one you came to curse while sobbing as well.

I took on your goals for yourself as my own goals. Still patient with you, but attempting to steer you to change, and maybe, probably, most likely, that made you feel as though you weren’t good enough. 

You told me you felt that way a lot, that you felt you weren’t worthy of me, that I deserved better, and I told you you were more than worthy, that you were amazing, that I appreciated you for who you are, but actions speak louder than words, don’t they?

It was my fault that you made so many difficult promises that built up into a brick wall around you until all you could do was sink into the ground and never come back up.

I’m sorry.

You always told me not to apologize, that I did nothing wrong, but if I could talk to you, the teapot of apologies I've been brewing over the past two months would bubble over and overflow, and I'd repeat how sorry I was for each action, each regret.

I didn't know much at the time, just a little girl figuring out the diversities of friendships, but if I could go back, I'd change a lot. 

Our bad habits as introverts and extroverts, our coping mechanisms and natural instincts, our stabbing blades embraced while holding knives to each others' necks.

You’re my precious friend, and I hope you thought of me as yours the way you said you did, and even though you’ve decided to finally cut me off--to send me an I wish you the best in life text at 3 AM, leaving me when I wasn’t able to respond, and I woke up, excited to read your first texts to me in a while, and you were gone--I still have an undeniable constant rush of hope and sadness, wishing for you to come back just like you did all those other times.

I'll keep listening to your favorite songs, hoping they're the background music of a movie we're in and wishing, just like what can only happen in movies, that we end up together again.

We told each other we’d be friends forever, and maybe we still are, an introvert and an extrovert, thousands of miles away from each other, still friends, just not talking.

July 27, 2021 04:41

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

71 comments

You're such a good writer Laiba! Keep going, you have so much potential! <3

Reply

Laiba M
19:13 Apr 12, 2022

Sorry for not responding until now, I've been off Reedsy, but thank you so much!! I really appreciate it :))

Reply

It's alright, I'm glad your back :3 (for however long ur back haha)

Reply

Laiba M
19:41 Apr 12, 2022

Thank youu!! How are you?~

Reply

I'm good, you? c:

Reply

Laiba M
19:50 Apr 12, 2022

I'm good!! It's crazy seeing how much Reedsy's changed, half the people on here don't use it anymore :( Glad there are still some nice people out there thoughh :))~

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Johana Htwe
13:21 Aug 02, 2021

A very emotional one, Laiba. It is like sending a letter to a long-lost friend. Every single sentence has its meaning and it is so emotional. Great one!!!!

Reply

Laiba M
19:14 Apr 12, 2022

I'm sorry I haven't responded until now, I've been off Reedsy, but I really appreciate your comment!! :))~

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Alice Richardson
05:43 Aug 02, 2021

Well written.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Avani G
12:58 Jul 30, 2021

That first line is great! The ending threw me off slightly, but I still thought it was pretty good. That being said, I did notice some mistakes. "I took on your goals for yourself as my own goals. still patient with you, but attempting to steer you to change..." The 'still' is not capitalized. "You’re my precious friend, and I hope you thought of me as yours the way you said you did, and even though you’ve decided to finally cut me off--to send me an I wish you the best in life text at 3 AM, leaving me when I wasn’t able to respond, and I ...

Reply

Laiba M
18:39 Jul 30, 2021

Thank youu!! Is there anything I should change about the ending? :)) I'll edit those into the story, thank you so much again, Avani!!

Reply

Avani G
00:48 Jul 31, 2021

I like the ending, but it doesn't really tie up the whole story. What exactly happened to their relationship? Maybe you could add a few hints and change the ending accordingly. Of course, no problem! Glad to help!! :)

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Laiba M
19:00 Jul 27, 2021

Hii everyone!!~ It's been so, so long since I last wrote a story/commented on Reedsy T-T I've still been reading all of your amazing stories though!! I'm not very happy with this story as I wrote it on impulse and posted it as soon as I was done, so please critique as hard as you can so I can improve it!! :) I've missed talking to you all so much-I love you all and am so happy to be back!! :))) ~Laiba

Reply

Show 0 replies
11:31 Jul 27, 2021

Wow Laiba. This was so good. And really relatable for me. I just loved the prose, the small things throughout. The knives, and all were great. Just one lil critique, maybe space out some paragraphs, cuz when I was reading, with the purposeful incorrect capitalization (I loved that) and short sentences and paragraphs, it comes a lil hard on the eyes. Ps. I wrote a similar story a while back,lol great minds think alike! Its actually two 8n one story lol and its called juggle, burst, crunch./ rotten.

Reply

Laiba M
22:43 Jul 27, 2021

Hiii Sia!!! It's been so longg T-T How have you been in the past four months?? Thank you so much!! I'm glad to have you as the first commenter on my first story in a whilee!! :)) Does it look better now? For some reason, every time I tried to edit the story and space them out, when I saved the changes, the spaces didn't save :(( You're so, so sweet!! Is there anything else you'd like to critique? I don't love this story, so it'd be amazing to get harsh critique, but it's totally fine if not!! Also, yes, I read your story a while ago--I'm sor...

Reply

06:12 Jul 28, 2021

Heyyyy! Ikr, so long! Haha, good-ish (eXaMs) You? Aw, yayyyy!! Sure, :)) Aw, it's fine! I'm happy you read it!! Thanks! Me too! :D

Reply

Laiba M
13:48 Jul 28, 2021

Ahh, good luck with those!! I'm on summer break but am still taking some courses T-T Andd I haven't even started my reading assignment yet, we're supposed to be reading a book and writing a journal on it and I have only a month left to do so I have no idea how I'll do ittt No need to thank me, thank you for the amazing stories!! Are you on summer break too?

Reply

16:15 Jul 28, 2021

:D Oop- good luck!! Haha, that's me before any and every assignment XD Aw :) I was, until a month ago, lol

Reply

Laiba M
23:16 Jul 28, 2021

Thank youu T-T Yess procrastination is a huge issue, I'm literally taking a thirty minute break after working for five minutes 😀 Ohh, okay!! How's school going for you thenn?

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Cookie Carla🍪
15:22 Dec 06, 2021

Hiya!! Can you read my new story Day 99 and leave feedback?

Reply

Show 0 replies
22:34 Sep 13, 2021

This was so sad :( But it was oh so very good at the same time!

Reply

Laiba M
17:09 Apr 14, 2022

Thank youu!!~

Reply

18:08 May 02, 2022

Of course~! ❣

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
08:06 Dec 13, 2021

I appreciate your writing the story was well crafted would like to make contribution to our team here is short introduction Sorry for inconvenience ignore it I am just bothering you We are Team Abhedya Racing; a group of passionate engineering undergraduates who participate in the BAJA competition organized by SAE at a National and International level. We have started this fundraiser to help fund our efforts in securing an All India Rank of 1 in the ongoing BAJA 2022 season. We have made it to an All India Rank of 6 in Phase 1 of the seas...

Reply

Show 0 replies
All Rounder
13:34 Oct 14, 2021

Hey ,when r u writing next ....

Reply

Laiba M
17:11 Apr 14, 2022

I might post a story this week since I've been off Reedsy for so long!!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Ivy Spade
16:48 Sep 24, 2021

Laiba! We haven't talked in what feels like forever! I just wanted to check up on you how are you!

Reply

Laiba M
19:09 Apr 12, 2022

Hii!! It's been so long since I've been on Reedsy omg T-T I've been so busy with in-person school I just haven't made the time to write at alll :( How are you??

Reply

Ivy Spade
13:04 Apr 22, 2022

Hi! It has been so long for me too! I'm good! I've been putting a ton of focus on my novel, who knew how long writing a whole novel could take... I'm doing okay, though. What about you?

Reply

Laiba M
20:04 Apr 26, 2022

That's great to hearr!! Good luck with the novel!~~ What's it about, if you don't mind sharing? :) I'm doing well!! Busy with studying for exams, but doing okay :))

Reply

Ivy Spade
18:25 Apr 28, 2022

Thanks, and well, the novel is based on a dream I remember having, I suck at explaining it though. I guess it's about a boy and this egg he finds that magical. I'm glad you are doing well!

Reply

Laiba M
01:23 May 18, 2022

Oo that sounds cool!! How's that going?

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Dhevalence .
15:02 Jul 31, 2021

Thank you for reading and liking my stories. It means a lot. Sometimes a story comes along, words from a stranger, that hits so close to home you think, maybe I wrote this story with my eyes closed. I loved it and the deep emotions.

Reply

Laiba M
19:21 Apr 12, 2022

I'm sorry I haven't responded until now--I've been off Reedsy--but thank you so much! And of course, your stories are wonderful :) Thank you for the beautiful comment!!~

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Niveeidha Palani
07:55 Jul 30, 2021

It's been so long. :) Feels good to connect with you again, haha. I'm sliding off the topic, though. This story held me through a rollercoaster of emotions, and the last line just nailed it right on the spot. I think many can relate to stories like these, keep it up, Laiba. Can't wait to read your future stories. :) I'll always be here, haha.

Reply

Laiba M
17:22 Jul 30, 2021

Yess, it hassss, and I'm so glad to be back and to talk with youu!!~ Thank you so much! And the same goes for you, you can count on me to be a long-time supporter :)) I really appreciate it, Niveeidha!~~

Reply

Niveeidha Palani
03:31 Jul 31, 2021

Aw, you're too kind, Laiba. Glad to talk to you, again. <3

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Arthur Alexander
17:44 Jul 29, 2021

Wow.. this story was really awesome since I really connected with the feeling and emotions. The plot line was really good... my favoraite line would be: 'I've been brewing over the past two months would bubble over and overflow, and I'd repeat how sorry I was for each action, each regret.' This line is just... idk how to express it in words, but I like how you've described everything. All in all a really good work!

Reply

Laiba M
18:46 Jul 29, 2021

Hi, Arthur!!~ Thank you so, so much for your sweet words on my story-they mean a lot!! The teapot bubbling over just popped into my mind in the moment and so I added it in, so it means a lot that you liked that line!! :) Thank you for reading!~~

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply

wow, it expressed friends' emotions really well. The texts, the meetings, the knives as the others are saying. You really drove a lot of raw emotions in here, just writing out their feelings. I like how it was kinda anonymous, but you left the characters to us. One suggestion...very minor, feel free not to take it... but every. single. sentence. was. not. capitalized. I don't know about anyone else, but it kinda drove me nuts while reading. I felt like editing every sentence to capitalize them, but I know that was purposeful to get the poet...

Reply

Laiba M
00:56 Jul 28, 2021

Lolll for some reason I didn't like it as much either-I liked some sentences in lowercase and some capitalizedd do you think I should capitalize some and leave others lowercase or capitalize all of them? I'm fine with either!~ :) Thank you so much thoughhh!!! Both for the suggestion and the kind words!!

Reply

I would say all or none lol you're very welcome :)

Reply

Laiba M
02:02 Jul 28, 2021

Sounds good!! :))

Reply

:DD btw, I'm not 'Lone Wolf' anymore lol so might wanna update your bio

Reply

Laiba M
13:50 Jul 28, 2021

Okay, I'll do that! I finished capitalizing and spacing them out and thank you, that does look so much better!! :)) But I can still call you Tiff, right?

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Ivy Spade
20:25 Jul 27, 2021

Wow! The story... The story is awesome. It's really truly relatable on so many levels... The part with the knives especially.

Reply

Laiba M
22:44 Jul 27, 2021

Hii Rosey!! Thank you so much! Let me know if there's anything you think I should change! :)~ How are you? And you're so kind to put me in your bio, I'll put you in mine as well!!!

Reply

Ivy Spade
04:24 Jul 29, 2021

Hiiii! I don't think there is anything you should change! I'm doing ok, what about you?? Also, you're welcome, and thanks!! (P.S. sorry for the duplicate text, accidentally double-clicked. XD)

Reply

Laiba M
16:16 Jul 29, 2021

Sounds good!! :) I'm doing well, busy and bored though T-T

Reply

Ivy Spade
16:53 Jul 29, 2021

Hah, that's fair. I am bored too- ;-;

Reply

Laiba M
17:04 Jul 29, 2021

Aww :( Yeahh, I"ve been trying to find ways to entertain myself this summer, but I haven't been able to travel and all of my other irl friends are on vacation so all alonee~ Just getting through some summer work and wondering how my first full year of in-person school since two and a half years ago will end up starting out!! Has summer break ended for you?

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply