Day at the Zoo

Day at the Zoo

           “Houston, we have a problem,” mumbled long-time facilities and IT manager for the Wild Animal Park, Steve Urbanick as he feverishly flipped switches on the master power control board.

           “Snikeys,” yelped master electrician Susan Tate, “it’s the Peter Principle at work. Our illustrious, money-grubbing CEO decides to install cheap, untested equipment just before tourist season and bingo, we have a huge problem on the Fourth of July, our busiest day of the year.”

           Suddenly the control room door burst open. “What the hell is going on,” screamed Park Superintendent James Marcus. “Shut down the damn sirens that are blaring across the park and frightening the animals and our customers.”

“Boss,” barked Steve, “the whole system is collapsing. The alarms will shut down in a couple of minutes, but the park is packed, the temperature just hit ninety-five degrees and who knows if the enclosure gates are closed and locked.”

“I think we better have all park personnel usher the guests to the safe areas,” urged Tate. “If the enclosures fail it won’t be long before the wild kingdom meets urban America up close and personal.”

“Get Parker on the line,” demanded Marcus. “He caused this mess; he’s going to have to solve it. Geezus, we are going to lose millions today. Refunds, lost revenue on everything, concessions spoiling, animal feed going bad, what a disaster.”

“Are you kidding me,” hollered Steve. “There are deadly creatures, venomous snakes, and all sorts of havoc-wielding animals about to run amok and your worried about ice cream melting. Instead of some smug CEO like Parker, you should listen to Susan, prioritize safety, and get the trainers and guards prepared to take what action is needed.”

“Oh, snikeys,” groaned Susan, “the enclosure gates are failing. I am trying to override the whole bloody system, but the computer program is not responding.”

“Jim,” Steve quietly said trying to calm the control room, “we just had the entire park’s electrical and refrigeration system shut down. Guests are stuck on the Safari train at the far end of the park baking in the sun surrounded by free roaming animals. There is another train stuck above the feline enclosure, Cat Canyon. Order the rescue vehicles to respond before our tenants realize we have lost control.”

           “It’s too late,” mumbled James Marcus. “Parker did not want to lose any animals or snakes. We had a fail-safe system installed that locks and charges the entire perimeter of the park in the event any animal enclosure or gate should fail. Now, that fail-safe system has trapped every living thing in the park.”

           “We must get our customers to the safety bunkers,” Susan desperately urged. Abruptly standing she jerked on the control door, “I’ll go out there and help round them up.”

           “You can’t,” sighed Marcus. “Not only does the fail-safe lock down the perimeter, but it also locks every door and gate it can. Apparently the control room door responded to the fail-safe lock before the system crashed.”

           “This just keeps getting better and better,” snarked Susan. “Anything else we should know?”

           “Well, yes,” Marcus reluctantly answered. “The control room is hermetically sealed. With no air-conditioning cycling the air and the door locked, the air volume will decrease, and the heat index will rise.”

           “Great, we suffocate or bake,” moaned Steve.

           The booming roar of the male African lion reverberated across the park. Normally the roar would result in the gleeful scurry of children to the enclosure to witness the magnificent beast exercise his lungs. Instead, inside the control room the roar brought the darkest visions of the heart of Africa eviscerating the soul of America.

II

           “Hey Mom, can we go see the snakes,” begged fourteen-year-old Tommy Jones. Addie Jones and her two children, Tommy and Mary, were visiting the park while her husband Jack, enjoyed the day on a nearby golf course.

           “No, Momma please no,” whined ten-year-old Mary, “I hate snakes. I’ll have nightmares.”

           Stuck between two indominable forces Addie did whatever mother does, divert attention to something else, “Why don’t we get out of the heat and have lunch at the Lion Overlook Café. It’s air-conditioned and has a wall of glass that the lions sometimes lay next to. Maybe we will get lucky and see the new cubs.”

***

           “They are adorable,” cooed Mary. “Look Tommy, there are two cubs and momma. Just like you ’n me ’n Momma.”

           “Mom, I am going to look around. Just order a coke and fries for me. I’ll be back after I use the bathroom,” announced the too-cool-for-family teenager.

           As Addie and her daughter sat down for lunch, a shrieking siren pierced the air. Addie elevated out of her chair like a cat on a hot tin roof and whirled towards the door in time to see a family shoving against the locked door in an attempt to leave the café.  

           The adult female lion that had been napping against the window sprang into the air and menacingly surveyed her enclosure. Her two cubs took refuge beneath her muscular legs and rolled like rocks when nudged by her enormous paws. Looking into the window the lioness snarled at Addie and Mary. Instinctively Addie stood her ground, stared back at the predator, and returned the hello with a snarl of her own, prompting giggles from Mary.

           “Everyone,” announced the Café manager, “please sit down. Your food will soon be out.” Putting on her best actress face, the manger lied, “There is nothing to worry about. We have had some technical issues in the park.”

           Mary pointed at the café door, “Momma, look it’s the lion family going for a walk.”

           “Oh my God,” shouted Addie. “My son is out there,” she shrieked as she helplessly yanked on the café door.

           Quickly other patrons restrained her. “Lady are you crazy,” asked an older man, “there are lions and god knows what else wandering about. We’re safe in here.”

           Sobbing Addie explained between gasps, “My son does not realize he is in danger. He left his cellphone, so there is no way to contact him.”

           Just then a booming roar shook the Café. Standing at the window was little Mary and on the other side of the glass was the king of beasts calling for his pride. Smiling, Mary turned to her astonished mother, “Look, I think he likes me.”

III.

           “Parker, shut up and listen,” ordered Marcus. “Our chief electrician and facilities manager are trapped in the control room with me. The master control board and securities system you insisted on purchasing from that young blonde salesman has melted down.”

           Urbanick and Tate could hear Parker screaming on the other end, “I did what was best for our shareholders. That fossil Urbanick is inept and unable to run the updated, more technologically efficient system.”

           The chief electrician heard all she could stand and grabbed the phone, “Look here Parker, quit trying to justify your actions, you purchased that system with your family jewels instead of your head. We all knew that you’d buy whatever that woman was selling. Now you have your patrons and us caged like zoo animals with the animals wandering about and hunting…” A loud urgent knocking on the door interrupted Tate’s vitriolic diatribe.

           “Open up,” cried Tommy Jones his pubescent voice cracking. “My mom and baby sister are trapped by lions. The animals are running the zoo.”

           “What’s your name son,” Susan Tate soothed in her best mom’s voice though the door, “we’re working on getting things straightened out in here.”

           “I’m Tommy Jones. Call the police or my Dad, Jack Jones,” replied Tommy. “My Dad is a computer design engineer for some top-secret government agency. He can’t even tell us where he works. We’re here on vacation and he’s playing golf. He can fix anything. But the police may need to save some of these people. There are lions roaming around and monkeys howling in the trees. It could get bad real fast.”

           “Are you scared son,” asked Tate. Swallowing hard Tommy lied, “Not for myself, but I’m awful afraid for my mom and sister. I never should have left them alone.”

           “Give me your father’s cell number and stay by this door,” instructed Tate.

“Do not, under any circumstance, call the police,” yelled Parker over the phone. “We will be ruined if this gets out.”

“For God’s sake you sanctimonious codswallop,” hissed Urbanick. “This old fossil would rather dive head first into pig slop than work one more second for you. Get off this phone and your yacht and get your dainty little ass over here while we try to save our animals and guests.”

“Tommy,” said Tate holding the phone close to the door, “we’re calling your dad. Just tell him we need his help, and we will take it from there.”

“Hi Dad” Tommy yelled through the hermetically sealed door. “I have to yell so you can hear…Yes, everything is okay, but the park and mom need your help…No, nobody is hurt but the computers here have caused things to be whacky…No I am not kidnapped…Dad, please this is important.”

Taking the phone Steve debriefed the single best hope of averting disaster and having a holiday celebration, “Mr. Jones, this is Steve Urbanick, the facilities and IT manager for the park. Our system has gone haywire and shut down numerous fields. A fail-safe protocol has been initiated that has locked down the entire park with the result of several animal compounds being open yet other facilities such as our control module being locked. We had a new system installed a few months ago which has been a headache.”

“Alright,” replied Jack, “sounds like we have a junction crossover between the old program and this cheap new system. Any software worth its salt would enable the two programs to work in concert with each other. I think we should fall back to the tried and true and bring up the old system.”

“Roger that” the old fossil replied. “I like tried and true.”

After several minutes of computer talk, former Facilities Manager Steve Urbanick and Chief Electrical Engineer Susan Tate began flipping switches on the control board and altering computer terminals. The warning lights on the grid faded off. The hermetically sealed door popped open and in stepped Tommy.

Immediately, James Marcus activated the park-wide intercom and directed the animal keepers to account for and resecure the animals in their enclosures. The patrons caged on the Safari trains were retrieved. The rhythm of Independence Day began to return to the park.

Tommy rushed back to the Lion Overlook Café. Addie and Mary were glued to the pane of glass separating them from the lion pride. As Tommy approached, the lioness stumbled over her little cubs and bared her teeth. The king of beasts rolled his head back and released the sound of a proud father.

Awestruck, Tommy hugged his mother and sister and said, “That lion reminds me of Dad. Cool and calm, he will protect his family.”

Mary innocently gazed at the lions, “No Tommy, he was just celebrating the taste of independence. Even if it was just for a few minutes.”