Goodbye is the New Beginning

Are you sure that’s what you want to do?” Amy asks. She looks at you with uncertainty in her eyes. “You can make it work.”

“Yes. I have to do it. It’s better for the both of us,” you said while you hopped in the passenger side of Amy's car. Your vision was blurred by a few escape tears you hadn't noticed.

“Aw, Vee, I’ll always have your back and whatever you decide to do I got you.” She wrapped her arm around your neck and kissed the top of your head.

You sighed and blinked your tears back. “Thank you. You’re the best. For real.” You gave her a side hug and took a deep breath. “I’m leaving in 5 days.”

“I know,” she said with a shaky breath. “What are you going to tell Gabe?” she asked. For a moment you didn’t know what to say. What were you going to say? you ask yourself.

Gabe had put a lot of thought about what you and he could do while you were both away at college. “We can always drive up, every other weekend,” he said. “Yeah,” you replied. You knew that you didn’t want to have to deal with a long-distance relationship. You suggested he go to the same school you were going to, but he said no. He’d gotten accepted to the college he wanted to go to so badly and told you there was another way to do things without a

devastating break-up. But you knew that wasn’t true.

“The truth, I guess,” you said, shrugging. You picked up your cup of hot coffee and felt the warmth on your cheeks. You took a long gulp. “I don’t think long distance is a good idea and we should just break up.”

“Okay, when are you going to say this?” Amy asked.

“When he drops me off at the train station,” you said.

“Vee, no. You can’t do that. No way.” She looked at you. “You have to tell him before you leave. He can’t drive you to the train station. Okay?” You thought about it for a second. You knew it was a horrible thing to do to him, given that you’ve been

dating for 2 and a half years. Breaking up with him that way was cruel.

“Okay, I’ll find a way to tell him before then,” you finally say. Amy looks relieved once you say this.

“Good. Okay. So, where to now?” the two of you are still sitting in Amy’s car, the air conditioning blasting on your face. “My place? My mom misses seeing you.” She laughs.

“Aw, I miss your mom too,” you said, joining her with laughter.

“Sure, let’s go to your place.”

The next four days fly by. You haven’t gotten time to go to Gabe’s house or invited him to yours. He texted you a few times to confirm that he’s driving you, but You never replied. You hoped that you would just rip off the band aid before you had to leave. That’s the thing about hope. Hope can be like a prayer; wishing for something rather than working towards it. You felt like the whole world lives on hope and that some people were strong, and some people weren’t. You knew you were part of the Not Strong team. You knew you couldn’t do what Amy said and that you’d just have to ride with Gabe to the train station.

On the morning of the day you leave, you hop out of bed, exhausted. You were tossing and turning all night. You thought about how you’re going to tell Gabe it’s over, and that’s it. You couldn’t think of it. Five days of avoiding Gabe, his calls, his texts. And now? You’re going to break his heart, (and yours!) in the parking lot of a stupid, rundown train station! You were furious at yourself for not being strong and just breaking up with him before today, but now you just had to go on with it.

You went along with your day just like any other. Got dressed, brushed your teeth, ate breakfast. But today you said goodbye to your parents and siblings. You said you’d be home soon and that you loved them. Your parents cried, (god knows why, it’s just college!) and embraced you in one last hug, and you felt calmed by their loving touch.

Gabe’s car drove up in the driveway and you drove away the place you grew up, to go to the train station to where the next chapter of your life started. To where you plan on breaking the heart of the boy you love. You both were silent the whole drive there, but once you reached the parking lot Gabe spoke up.

“Veronica.” He turned in his seat and looked at you.

“Yes?” you asked, not looking at his eyes.

“Look at me.”

“Why?”

“Please?” You looked up into those beautiful, blue eyes. For a moment you forgot all about the break-up and only his eyes. His beautiful, magical—the moment died when you remembered what you had to do. “What’s wrong? You haven’t answered any of my calls or texts all week, you barely talked to me on the drive up here. A—are you going to break-up with me?” At the sound of his voice crack all you wanted to say was, “no, I’ll never leave you. We’ll make this work; I know we can. I love you, Gabe.” But those words never escaped her mouth.

“Gabe, I just think that—”

“No.” he said. He reached for your hand and you let him hold it.

“Veronica, there’s something I didn’t tell you.”

“What?” you asked, afraid of what he might say.

“Well, I thought about this. For a while, actually. And I know that long distance isn’t going to work out. I thought we could make it work but the more I thought the less I believed myself. So, I thought—” You cut him off, not able to hear the bad news.

“No. Don’t say it,” you whispered. “I can’t.” A single tear escaped from your eye and landed on your cheek. Gabe reached up and wiped it away with his thumb. He cupped your cheek with his left hand and stared into your eyes.

“Veronica. Listen. Please,” he said. Before he could speak any longer you wrapped your arms around his neck and sob into his shoulder.

After minutes of crying and getting snot all on Gabe’s shirt, he leaned away from you and cup your face with both of his hand. “I love you, Veronica. And I’m not breaking up with you.”

“Wait…you’re not?” You asked.

“No, but I had a feeling that’s what you were planning on doing.”

“I just didn’t want to make you suffer through long distance. It wouldn’t be fair, and you’ll be so far away from me—but after, well, thinking you were breaking up with me, I knew I couldn’t do it and that we could make it work.” You thought about what he said about long distance not working. “But you said…that you don’t think long distance would work.”

He pulled away from you. “I don’t think it will work, yes.” You felt confused and like someone was ripping a piece of your heart away. The piece of your heart that Gabe captured and kept safe with his love for you. Thoughts ran through your head but didn’t stick. What game is he playing? You thought.

“Vee, I’m going with you.” He finally said.

“What?” You gasped. You seriously did not see that coming. “But what about—”

“I choose you. I was foolish to think long distance could work, and the thought of that blinded me, and I almost lost you.”

“So you’re saying…”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Gabe leaned forward and kissed you, softly, and you felt every bit of love aimed towards you. You wrapped your arms around him and laughed and giggled. “Ready to go?” he asked.

“Yes!” you shouted back, enthusiasm raiding your voice.

He passed you your suitcase and grabbed his too, which you hadn’t know was there before, and you walked towards the entrance, hand in hand, towards your new beginning.