e Chase

The first movie I ever saw on the big screen was the movie starring Steve McQueen at the Drive-in theater Bullitt in 1968. Even though my father was so much as a cheapskate and him being a miserly stingy person especially who thrived upon to avoid paying a fair share of costs or expenses even for his 11 children more than the Walton family on popcorn or soda’s from the snack place who would not have considered being absolutely poor even under United States standards.

Even when I decided to live in the poorest city in the world Kinshasa, the Democratic Republic of the Congo and couldn’t even steal any cars because no one had any. Those rickshaws were too slow for me.

You wouldn’t believe how poor them people are gyrotactically. They’re really poor and garbage is a treasure for them people. They can’t afford to even get the corona virus. They’ve have been dying for years because no one cares about the helpless people but God and me.

To even actually think that I believe living  like Li'l Abner in the satirical American comic strip that appeared in many newspapers in the United States, Canada and Europe, featuring a fictional clan of hillbillies in the impoverished mountain village of Dogpatch, USA.

 My Chinese daddy who always told me I’d never amount to nothing. Mr. Hiroshima Wong.  Who always referred to and honorably believed in anything when Confucius stated that my mother Clarabelle Wong who displayed having a back like a spineless jelly fish back bone just like that poor pathetic soul of Edith from the Archie Bunker TV series?

I demanded that we park as close to the screen as possible like in the television show Leave it to Beaver would have vehemently suggested. Wally and Lumpy and the true antimycotic Eddy Haskell would had been all on board for whatever reason in the 60’s.

The reason why I opened up with this true life story watching movie at the drive-in is because it changed the course of my life in a bad way.

Watching those dynamic unbelievable car chasing scenes impacted my life so much in a bad way that even today. I still believe, in real life that “I”  could professionally drive away fastly from any cops.   

Even today I still try and will outrun the stolen car I professionally hotwire from any police cruiser at the merry old age of 82.

In 1979 I stole my first high performance car. I hotwired a 1973 Pontiac GTO sport coupe with a P400ci v8 auto air rare not knowing that only 282 were produced. 

I was coming out of a Big Boy restaurant with him posted up like one of those monumental statues depicting Cecil Rhodes statue DECAPITATED, when the police put on their siren for me to pull over.

 My first thought was they got to be out of their rabid minds if they even considered I’d stop. The chase was on! Besides, it wasn’t like I was trying to transport some illegal moonshine down south in the 40s.

Then all of a sudden them state troopers in the from way down south started chasing me in my stolen car. At that time I was coming from living in Indianapolis 500 land. Where stealing fast cars was the norm. That car topped at a speed of 170 miles an hour. I lost them in 2 minutes, all the while laughing to myself while sipping on a 180 proof jug of moonshine.

I knew then and there this would be the last time I could drive that stolen car, so I sold it to a chop shop.

Feeling down and out and depressed for only having that unique amazing  high power vehicle for only 33 days.

To make myself feel better I then stole a 1966 Lamborghini Maura 400.

What struck me so funny in my moonshine insanity mind after I drove around town for two weeks. I actually believed I owned it.

Then those same two cops who tried diligently to catch me the first time with the stolen GTO.

Not knowing that this stolen car had a top speed of reaching 250 miles and hour.

The coppers or Keystone cops in which I referred to them at the time of my moonshine drinking days stopped chasing me after I hit 199 miles an hour.

If you haven’t ever driven a car well past 100 miles an hour I don’t feel sorry for you. You don’t know what your missing.

I kept that car until I seen a 1969 Maserati Ghibli Spyder. It was just sitting there asking me to take it. In which I didn’t have a choice to steal probably against the owner wishes. The clean lines that characterized that car was a visual delight and I settled on Giugiaro's reputation as a master in automotive design. That car had a coupé’s classic proportions of a front-engine configuration with a long bonnet and a steeply raked windscreen that could perfectly be adapted for an open-top spyder version.

The Ghibli Spyder was strictly a two-seater. In which I didn’t really need unless I wanted to pick up some street walking chicks.

I always believed in stealing solo. While having the police to chasing me through the streets on a daily basis.

That was until I ran out of  gas and was forced to abandon it and had no choice but to leave in the stolen car in the ghetto projects.

When it got tragically stolen from me because that last car chase from the police having us traveling over 90 miles took a toll on the gas tank.

I was very depressed by how that wonderful car got stolen from “me” until I learned that I could drive as fast as I wanted not to worry having to about whether cops were always wanting to chase me for helping them to have jobs.

Then I stole a 1966 Ferrari 275 GTB/4 and took it to Germany’s autobahn where I could be my car stealing self not ever having to worry about going over the speed limit

What I didn’t know or care about was the fact that them Germans had implemented speed-unrestricted on stretches of the highway and that the advisory speed limit (in Richtgeschwindigkeit) of 130 kilometers per hour (81 mph) applied.  It stated while driving faster is not illegal as such in the absence of a speed limit, it can cause an increased liability in the case of a collision (which mandatory auto insurance has to cover). That part I didn’t understand because I didn’t have a valid driver’s license. Eventually I did get caught and got locked up for 35 years. e Chase was finally over!