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Fiction Holiday Funny

Like a lot of folks around the holidays, Mary loved to watch the classic holiday movies from It’s a Wonderful Life to Miracle on 34th Street to Home Alone and National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. She always related to the well-known scene in Christmas Vacation and the exchange between Clark Griswold and Mary—the department store sales assistant/cashier. She found humor in the scene because she also worked as a cashier and sales assistant in a small village holiday store albeit they didn’t sell lingerie.

Mary was on the later side of her fifties and had been divorced for twenty plus years. She had no children, her parents had passed some ten years earlier, and she had one sibling—but she lived in Arizona. They rarely saw each other but did speak on the phone a few times a year and especially around the holidays.

She earned her income as an artist—a painter more specifically. She earned just enough to support her modest lifestyle. She’d lived in the village since her divorce and worked in the shops around the holidays as a break from painting and to get into the holiday spirit.

She never sold her paintings in the village because she had made a name for herself years earlier and sold mostly commissioned works. Some of her paintings ended up in commercial buildings in the city and some ended up in people’s homes.

She lived in her family’s cabin located about one mile up the creek from the village. The cabin was built by her grandfather and sat at the end of a lane. Since it was built, the family had upgraded it to include running water and electricity. It was essentially a single room cabin with a fully functional bathroom in the corner. A small area was designated for her paintings and supplies and was opposite the fireplace. She had a small car, which sat underneath the carport.

The cabin sat on a hill some fifty feet from the edge of the creek. The property was surrounded by trees except for the area between the water and the cabin, which provided an excellent view of the creek and hill across. Mary drew inspiration from the scenery during all four seasons.

Heading into what she planned would be her last season at the shops, Mary arrived mid-morning on her first day and opened the shop like she’d done many times before. There were always people already waiting in line to flood the shop.

That day, she’d been approached by a gentleman, she believed in his fifties, asking for assistance finding a gift for his sister. She obliged and the two spent about fifteen minutes walking through the shop and ended up at the front counter. The gentleman paid for his items, Mary wrapped them, and off he went.

The very next day he was back at the shop. She recognized him immediately but couldn’t recall ever seeing him before yesterday. Again, he asked for assistance finding a gift for his sister.

Mary couldn’t help herself, “You must really like your sister.”

“Yeah,” he replied, “I’m just helping her get settled in her new house and figured a few holiday decorations would help her feel settled.”

“Oh, where about is her house?”

“Just up the creek a bit.”

“Where you from then?”

“Well, we’re both from the city, about an hour south.”

“Well, welcome, maybe I’ll see her in the shop sometime.”

“Perhaps, yes.”

With that, Mary had wrapped the items and off he went.

Those encounters went on for the next three weeks and usually every day. Each time, they learned more about each other. She learned that his name was Roger and he learned that she was a painter. She learned his sister was bound to a wheelchair and he learned she had a fancy for holiday movies. She learned his sister lived in a small house just on the other side of the creek and he learned she lived on the other side of the creek and back a small lane. She learned that he was divorced, and he learned that she was also divorced. She learned that while he claimed he was getting his sister settled, he had more long-term plans for moving there. He learned that she wasn’t going anywhere.

A few days ahead of December 25th, on what turned out to be Roger’s last purchase for the season, Roger invited Mary to his sister’s house for a holiday dinner and to meet his sister of course. Mary agreed to go, and Roger provided her with more exact information about where his sister lived.

That evening after she closed the shop, she walked to the winery and got a bottle of their most popular wine to take to the dinner party. She hoped they would like it and drank wine for that matter.

It had already turned dark, and she hoped she could find their house. She drove herself home to freshen up and then drove down the one side of the creek and up the other. She found their house and started up the driveway—hoping her small car could make it. Ultimately, she made it and approached the front with her bottle of wine and a bow taped to the neck of the bottle.

Roger opened the door and invited her in. Mary handed over the bottle and quickly noticed the house was small but charming. They entered the living area and Mary was introduced to Samantha. Roger left the two and headed toward the kitchen.

“I’ll check on dinner and open this wine,” Roger said looking back.

Mary replied, “I was worried you guys didn’t drink wine.”

Samantha chimed in, “Oh, we like wine and especially with a holiday dinner.”

Roger returned with a glass of wine for everyone and stated that dinner wasn’t quite ready. So, they all sat in the living area and talked. Roger started the conversation by divulging all his plans for the house. He wanted to carve out a different driveway, add a fireplace, and make the bathroom more accessible for his sister. Mary talked about life as an artist and Samantha talked about her dream to own her own house and living by a creek.

Mary couldn’t help feeling happy and welcomed and had taken a liking to Roger. Dinner was then served with another glass of wine for everyone. Discussions of holiday movies then took center stage. They discussed many movies but seemed to land on Christmas Vacation, as Roger poured everyone another glass of wine. It was more than Mary was used to drinking but she went with it.

They talked about their favorite scenes from the movie when without hesitation Mary blurted out with the same delivery as Mary in the movie, “Can I show you something?” (Christmas Vacation)

To which Roger replied, “I was just smelling—smiling. I was just blouse—browsing.” (Christmas Vacation)

 “For your wife, for your girlfriend?” (Christmas Vacation)

“What? What happened?” (Christmas Vacation)

They continued all the way through the scene and busted out laughing. Samantha still laughing uncontrollably, “You guys nailed it. I may have peed a little.”

That was the beginning of a wonderful relationship for Roger and Mary. They never moved in together, but they did spend a lot of time together—and with Samantha. Mary never did work at the shops again but every holiday all three would hang out at the winery. Oddly enough however, it quickly became tradition for them to re-enact the scene in public at the winery every year and the winery staff loved it. Their performance could only be upstaged by a visit from Mr. and Mrs. Claus.

Works Cited:

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. Directed by Jeremiah S. Chechik, Written by John Hughes, Produced by John Hughes and Tom Jacobson, 1989.

November 23, 2022 19:15

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4 comments

Wendy Kaminski
13:12 Nov 27, 2022

This was cute, and a great take on the adult friendship/semi-romance dichotomy after a certain age. :) The interplay among your three characters was really well-written!

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Douglas W. Carr
17:16 Nov 27, 2022

Thank you kindly. It was a little challenging, given what I usually write.

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Annabella Bones
14:19 Dec 01, 2022

Douglas, I was smiling through this entire piece. Christmas Vacation was my family's traditional christmas movie growing up. This was well-written and an enjoyable read! Thank you for sharing!

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Douglas W. Carr
18:22 Dec 01, 2022

Thank you, it's also one my favorites.

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