Raspberry and a Machine Gun

I don't need you, Day one, January 2nd, 2018

I don't need therapy. I do not. I don't care what Blane says. She thinks I'm crazy. I AM NOT CRAZY!!! That doesn't help my case. I saw it happen. Do you think I am crazy? I hope not. If another person thinks what Blane thinks. That would make hmm...83? I saw it! I'll tell you.

It was maybe Mid June 2008? Perfectly sunny day. Finlee and I were 15. We decided to ride our bikes around town. We had just stopped at the ice-cream shop. She got a Rasberry chocolate chunk. I got a vanilla-chocolate swirl. I went back inside to grab some napkins. I walked out and she wasn't there. I immediately thought it was a joke. Good-Ol Finlee was always comical. I weaved through cars to reach the dark corner behind the shop. There was Finlee. Not alone. Next to her was a tall and buff man. He had a bald head and a machine gun tattooed on his right arm.

"GET OFF ME!" Finlee shouted

"Just come with me" The man responded smoothly

She violently shook her head. I wanted to save her. I didn't have the strength I stayed stiff. She saw me in the shadows. I could see her eyes pleading with me. The man pulled out a gun.

"Do you want to die?"

She was full-on crying at this point.

"PLEASE!"

"Do you want this bullet in your head?"

Before Finlee could answer there was a bang. The man took out a cell phone.

"Got another one Mario"

The man walked away, his work was done.

Now, do you understand! I don't need therapy I just can't go. I know my family will be there. Jessa, Lola, Bobbie, Karma, Liam. I have more relatives than I can count. They don't understand. They don't make things any better. Why that ice-cream shop? I hate them for picking that spot. I bet Bobbie picked it. He never liked me. Always thought I was strange. This family doesn't like unusual things. I need to wear just the right thing. Talk just like everyone else. Otherwise... I don't even want to go there. Still, I am forced to go. Blane is at my side dragging me around to meet everyone. Relative after relative says the same thing

"Wow, I haven't seen you in so long."

Do I really look so different? Well, of course, I was 14 last time they saw me. Now I am 24. My parents still treat me like I'm fourteen. Your family says when you get older things will change. Mother Daughter changes to just two friends. It never has. I guess I haven't really grown up yet. My life is a jumbled mess, can you tell? All my family members are in a line waiting for the ice cream. I decide not to go. I step outside to get some fresh air. My old boyfriend Myles is out here.

"Hey, Tayana."

"What are you doing he-"

"I came to see you."

"Why?"

"Because I was thinking about us, about you"

"Look now is really not a goo-"

He really likes to interrupt me. "I believe you".

"You believe I saw her die?"

"I have never seen you lie to anyone."

"I just glad you're not being an Edmund"

He cracks up "Good one, That's why I miss you"

An old inside joke. "If you liked me so much why you leave?"

"I was seventeen, I made plenty of mistakes"

I stopped myself from saying, you got that right. He has a very serious look on his face. This makes me laugh

"What is it?"

He is starting to turn a concerning shade of blue.

"Are you alright?" I am repeating like a broken record.

He takes in a very deep breath. Then he gets down on one knee.

What? Well, this was very unexpected.

"Tayana Desirae Black, Will you make my life worthwhile and, marry me?"

What the heck? That is all I am thinking. We just met again. For the first time in seven years. He just gets down on his knee and pops the question.

"Don't you know me?"

"Well, I Ju-"

"My turn to interrupt."

"I am scarred, traumatized, lonely, broken, and you want me as your wife?" I shout

"More than anything."

"Your crazy." I spout out

He smiles "Crazy about you."

Oh, come on! Does he have to be so romantic all the time? Now I'm smiling.

"Do I hear a yes?"

"Umm maybe?"

Myles drops his shoulders. He is probably thinking about how stupid he is. How stupid I am. I just blew it didn't I? I rub my temples and shake my head. I wish my whole life was just a bad dream. Drama is seemingly around every corner. I have to catch Myles before he runs off. But it's too late.

I turn to walk back inside. The line has died down. It is near a quarter till seven. People are starting to leave. I decide it's time to get some ice-cream. Vanilla-Chocolate Swirl? Just for old times sake? I wait behind a few people who are constantly looking at their watches.

I reach the line at 7:10 or so. I am not even looking at the man who runs the counter.

"Sorry kid, the only flavor left is Raspberry Chocolate Chunk"

Why does his voice seem so familiar? I look up.

"That will be just fi-"

That isn't. No, it couldn't be. Is it? The man with the machine gun tattoo. The man who killed Finlee Johnson. He smiles wickedly at my face. Does he recognize me? Did he see me hiding in the shadows that day? I begin talking jibberish till I can spat out a word. A single word.

"HELP!"

He cracks his knuckles "That was quite the mistake kid."

I look behind me. Everyone is gone. All the family that was supposed to surround me. Keep me safe. They all deserted this place. They all left me alone with the man and his machine gun tattoo.

HELP! PLEASE! THIS IS TAYANA DESIRAE BLACK! HELP ME!