I opened my eyes and ears when my conscious said, what was that? My eyes wandered around the room. What is this place? I don’t remember those purple painted walls. I don’t remember that golden clock with a broken side. As I looked around, I saw a phone, broken, shattered, lying on the wooden floor. There were two doors, a red one in the front and a purple one at the back. Where am I? Who am I? I tried to answer all those questions, but my mind was completely blank. There’s just this huge cloud of darkness. Suddenly, something hit the front door. It sounded like a rock. I prop myself up from the wooden floor. The wooden floor creaked as my legs took me towards the door. The knob is cold as I grabbed it with my dry fingers. At the next instant, the door blasted off and the blast wave threw me towards the hard wall. My body banged against the wall and I fell breaking a wooden chair beside the wall. It was a grenade that hit the door. The smokes made me choke and wheeze. What’s happening? The concussion joined with the darkness in my mind. My ears were filled with high pitched sound.
Better get outta here. At the next instant, several bullets hit the room. God, what’s happening. I flatten out on my belly and crawled out through the back door of the room. The firing continued. The cement from the wall and the woods from the floor jumped as the bullets hit them. I quickly jumped on my feet and ran through the corridor which will take me somewhere, maybe. Shit! There’s another door at the end of the corridor. The attempts to open the door was a failure, it’s locked. The bullets began nearing me. Whoever it is, they’re gaining on me. Do I have a key? My hands quickly searched my body with the hope of finding a key. Negative. There were footsteps outside now. Fuck this. To open a door, one does not need a key. I started to hit the door with all of my body. The door started to creak, but the force was not enough. My legs ran a few steps back to have some velocity to bang on the door. I looked at the door and sighed. Here I come. At the next instant, with all my pace, my legs ran forward and banged on the door. The door burst open and I fell inside the room. Oh, it hurts, it hurts really bad. But no time to rest. Suddenly, someone spoke from outside.
Man : Hey! Over Here
Who was it? I crouched and slowly went to the wooden door at the back of the room. It’s a ruined door with holes through which my eyes peeked. It’s night time now. Nighttime? There’s a man outside the house in the dark woods. He had a dark beard and a white dress. My eyes couldn’t decipher much in the dark. The man yelled again,
Man : C’mon…hurry.
He gestured me to step out. Who is he? A few bullets now marched over my head and hit the wooden wall. The man yelled again,
Man : C’mon, Jason, get out of there.
Jason? Maybe that’s who I am? He knows me? The bullets came in like rain. The wooden door creaked open with one hit from my fist and it gave me an opening. The man gestured me to hurry with his hands and said,
Man : C’mon, Jason.
My ears heard people murmuring from the house. They are in. I ran towards him. The man escorted me through the dark woods. Suddenly, someone spoke from behind,
Man : There he is.
They found me. At the next instant, they shot at me from behind. The bullets started to hit the trees and the ground. Even mutts won’t run like us. They were hunting for us. Who are they? Out of my curiosity, I turned my head and looked. Was that… At the next instant, the man pulled my head back and said,
Man : Don’t fucking turn back. Just run.
We ran. Those serious and scared emotions on his face were visible to me even in this dark. We ran out of the woods and there was a black truck waiting for us. The man said,
Man : Get in.
The man slid over the bonnet and jumped at the other side and boarded. I quickly opened the door and jumped in. The bullets were still finding us. The man quickly started the truck and we were now on the road. He pushed my head down and said,
Man : Keep your head down.
He rode the car like a maniac. The gears were being shifted every second. Suddenly, bullets pierced the truck and passed over my head. Glass shattered and it fell over my shoulder. The bullets came in more and more each time. The windshield shattered. The man looked back in fear. He checked his watch and then quickly steered right and pulled the handbrake. The truck drifted towards a road at the right. The screeching of the tires pierced my soft and tender ears. At the next instant, he steered the car to the front and took the truck through a muddy road. The bullets were no longer heard. They might’ve lost us. The tires squished the mud under it. He looked back to make sure we were safe. He was relieved, I could say. He sighed and looked at me and said,
Man : We’re okay.
I slowly leaned back to the seat. The confusion in my mind grew each second that I forgot to ask him what it was all about. Instead, I fired the question on myself.
The man slowly drove the truck to a farmhouse. He halted the truck at the lawn. Who parks a truck at the lawn? The man opened the drawer inside the car and took out a polaroid from it. He exited the car smiling and said,
Man : We’re home.
Home? My hands opened the door and I jumped out on the lawn. He was waiting for me at the entrance. Every step I gained towards the house, the confusion and curiosity grew in my mind. The man placed his hand over my shoulder and walked me into the house. He knocked on the door and suddenly someone from inside opened it. It’s a woman and a small girl. The woman was in her 30s and the girl was probably 10. As soon as she saw me, she hugged me. Her hands tied me like a rope. She’s weeping. I stood there awkwardly. The little girl now joined and hugged me. She’s only about the height of my knees and it was like a crab hugging my legs. The man was smiling at all this. The woman now removed her hands from me and asked,
Woman : Where were you all long? It’s been three months.
Three months? What’s happening here? She quickly looked at the man and said,
Woman : Dwight, thank you… a lot.
Dwight? That was his name? Dwight smiled at her and said,
Dwight : C’mon, he would do the same for me.
My intuition said to ask her about ‘I’. But before my mouth could obey the order, Dwight took the polaroid and clicked the picture of the woman and the girl. He took out the instant film and started to shake it and said,
Dwight : This might help.
The woman started to shed tears. She said,
Woman : It might, it might.
Dwight : Uh… I’ll talk to him, you make the dinner. Don’t worry, he’ll be alright.
The woman wiped her tears and nodded. She looked at me and touched my hands. Her hands were so soft and warm. Her scent, it's soothing my nerves. I don’t know what it was, but I liked it. She smiled at me and walked in with the girl. Dwight looked at me and said,
Dwight : Care to join me upstairs?
Man : Y-yes.
Dwight : Okay.
Dwight walked me in. My eyes gazed all over the room. Wait? That’s...? Yes, it is. There’s a photo by the table and she was in it…with me kissing her. My legs rooted there looking at the photo. Dwight, who’s a few steps ahead of me, looked back and said,
Dwight : You wanna come up and talk?
I looked at him. My curiosity made me follow him. We walked upstairs and rooted at the balcony. The cold breeze which had a floral scent swept the area. I had felt this sometimes before. Dwight checked his watch. He quickly pulled out a pen from his pocket and wrote something on the photos and then stashed it into my pockets. He once again looked at his watch and smiled. At the next instant, he slapped my cheeks with his stiff hands. The pain, I felt it. My face burned up and with all the anger when I saw him smiling at me. I yelled,
Jason : You son of a--
Uh…Where am I? What’s this place? Who am I? I looked everywhere. A man is standing and looking at me in my front. He’s probably in his 40s. He had a dark black beard with long hair. Who was he? What am I doing here? He looked at me and said,
Man : Remember me?
Remember you? Who are you? I thought. He smiled at me and said,
Man : My name’s Dwight Dixon.
Dwight Dixon? Why can’t I remember anything? Before I could try and come up with something, Dwight said,
Dwight : And you’re Jason. Jason Grimes.
Jason Grimes. Jason Grimes, that’s my name. He continued,
Dwight : You probably might be wondering why you can’t remember anything, right? Well, that’s because you have a problem. You can’t remember your past or present. And…you can’t create memories. The longest time you’ll remember something is thirty minutes and then the cycle starts again.
Amnesia? He’s probably lying. I said,
Jason : Stop your lies.
At the next instant, Dwight punched me on my face. Blood flowed out of my nose and I fell down onto the marble floor. I moaned in pain. Dwight looked at me and smiled. He started to walk around me and continued his speech,
Dwight : Lies…lies…lies… I’ve stopped my lies a minute ago. I don’t need them anymore. Jason, do you remember who you were?
Dwight looked at me for an answer. I looked at him and moaned in pain. Dwight continued,
Dwight : You won’t. I know. You were a stinking burglar.
Burglar? Me? I lost it when he said that. I yelled,
Jason : I ain’t no burglar. Don’t you dare call—
Dwight kicked me at my belly. My lungs struggled for air. Dwight looked at me and said,
Dwight : I would dare to call you one because you’re one. I would say that again. You’re a burglar, a thief, you’re a mugger, a raider, a marauder and you’re a fucking crook.
He’s probably lying. Don’t hear them…uh…don’t hear them…uh… What do I call myself? If I call myself Jason, then he’ll be right. No, I’m not a thief. Don’t listen to his lies. Dwight smiled and said,
Dwight : That was a long time ago. You would’ve forgotten it by now even if you didn’t have amnesia. But do you remember what happened thirty minutes ago?
What is he talking about? I crushed my mind and thought harder. Dwight said,
Dwight : Don’t make it hard on yourself, I’ll tell you. I just saved you from a kidnapper, who had held you captive for more than three months. I’ve saved you from the bullets. I have brought you here, reunited with your family. This is your house, your balcony, and your wife and daughter are downstairs cooking food for us.
Saved me? My mind started to get twisty. Dwight smiled and said,
Dwight : But, there’s just one more thing… the person who took you, the kidnapper, it was me.
He looked at me and smiled wide. I asked,
Jason : Then…then why did you do bring me here? Who shot at me?
Dwight : Uh-huh, they didn’t fire at you…they fired at me. I held you captive for three months. Oh, I wanted to kill you so badly, I craved for it. But you, you sneaky bastard called in the cops. I must accept, the phone thing was pretty impressive.
Jason : Why didn’t you then just kill me at that time?
Dwight : I thought about that, Jason. But…nah…there was no time. But you have amnesia, and that too a special case. So, I played and your fucked up brain believed. That was my win.
My head’s starting to get dizzy. I asked,
Jason : Why are you doing this to me? Why?
Dwight smiled at me. At the next instant, he started to kick me. My body was tiring. Dwight said,
Dwight : Why, huh? WHY, HUH? You don’t remember, I know. But today, you’ll, I’ll make you remember. Oh, I’ll, I’ll make you remember.
Dwight paused for a moment and said,
Dwight : Ten years ago, you walked into a house, a bright white house which had a name board that said, “Dixon’s”. You walk in, takes everything, every last of my savings, and then you fuck my wife…my wife, kill my parents who woke up by the sound, and then I see you. I hit your head, but you drugged me and placed the weapons in my hand and framed me for killing my family.
It was at that time my mind gave me something for the first time. A memory flashed upon my head. I… I, raping a woman, killing an old man and his wife, and then…I think I see Dwight. Dwight continued,
Dwight : I…I got seven years and all that time, I just wanted to kill you. I worked out a plan, kidnapped you, tricked your wife, and I was to kill you tomorrow.
Jason : My wife…my wife…did you…
Dwight : Your wife…Oh…she’s a gem.
Jason : You motherfucker…
At the next instant, Dwight kicked me on my belly. He pulled me up and threw me to the wall beside us. My head hit the wall. Dwight said,
Dwight : Your wife, she’s an angel. You don’t deserve her and I’m not a pig like you to rape a woman.
Dwight looked at his watch and chuckled. He said,
Dwight : I thought of killing you, but you gave me something better. You’re gonna forget this convo in a moment. But I promise you, I’m gonna give you something that you’ll never forget in your life from. You’re gonna die every single day and I’m gonna enjoy it. Your wife’s an angel…but…
Dwight pulled out a gun. It’s a colt revolver, a shiny silver one. There were some bloodstains at the handle. He smiled and slowly raised the gun at me and said,
Dwight : …My mercy won’t prevail my vengeance.
At the next instant, I threw my fist at him. Dwight quickly dodged it and hit my head with the colt. My head went dizzy and I fell down onto the floor. Darkness rushed into my eyes.
When I wake up, the other side of the bed is cold. I’m laying at a bed with my hands stretched wide. Where am I? Who am I? There’s a killing pain on my head. My left hand helped me feel it. There was blood on my head. I prop up myself with my right hand. But…there’s something in my hand. There’s a colt revolver, a shiny silver one, in my hand. How did it come in my hand? Wait. Something’s written on my hand. My eyes saw it and my mind read it out to me. “Check the pockets”. Check my pockets? I placed the gun on the bed and slid my fingers into my pockets. There’s something. My fingers pulled it out. It was some photos took on a polaroid. My eyes gazed at them. Every photo had a woman with blonde hair with a small girl, probably her daughter. They looked so happy in all of them. I see them eating pizza, taking a walk, celebrating her birthday. What? The last two photos have something inscribed on them. It said “Wife” and “Daughter”. My wife and daughter? My wife and daughter. They’re my wife and daughter. They looked so happy. Where are they? I stood up and walked to the front. The photos made me smile, so I looked at them more. My daughter’s smile was angelic. At the next instant, my legs stepped on something. It was like a cap. I removed my leg from it and looked. It was a shell of a bullet. My eyes slowly looked to the front. Is that…I rushed towards the front and knelt. There were two bodies. It’s…It’s my wife and daughter, the photos confirmed it. Wait, the colt. It was in my hand. The photos fell from my hands to the floor. I sat down beside them. The photos started to get blood on them. I…I killed my family. They were laying on the floor bathed in blood. My wife had two bullets on her head and she’s holding a rock which was dipped in blood? I touched my back of the head. There was blood. Did she hit my head in self-defense? My daughter had one bullet on her head. I can’t see them like this. God, I killed them. I laid beside my wife. Blood stuck to my shirt. I…I killed my family. At the next instant, huge sirens started to wail all over the house. I…I killed them. But why? I looked at her dead eyes and cried. What have I done?
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Good one buddy. I liked the way how you ended it. Keep it up!
A story with an intriguing plot and a flawless ending . Great work..!!
"The knob is cold as I grabbed it with my dry fingers." This sentence is what happens throughout- you shift back and forth between present and past tense o your verbs. Sometimes I do the same thing. You need to decide which tense to use, then stick with it. Dialogue or flashbacks can be exceptions. But this sentence makes no sense. Either the knob was cold when you grabbed it or you need to grab it while it is cold. At the next instant, the door blasted off and the blast wave threw me towards the hard wall. My body banged against the wall...
Thank you for your detailed review! Yes, I often shift back and forth between past and present, I'll manage to avoid them while the next one and the tautology too. And...I usually never use quotation marks while writing a dialogue...I think I am used to it...but I'll try my level best to clear all these things in my next story. And...the word limit was a bit difficult for me...I usually write scripter Novels and I don't know why but I explains everything to very detail. I have published one in Amazon...if you're interested, could you...
The ending was sad. But awesome twist at the end. Enjoyed reading this one. Great work. Keep writing. Would you mind reading my new story? Thanks!
Thank you❤️...sure I'll!
This story is batshit INSANE. The intricate plot, the hyper-fast pace, the action sequences.... it all made for an incredibly entertaining read. The choice to not use quotation marks was interesting, and I’m not sure if I’m a fan of that. But besides that, bravo, you nailed the thriller/suspense aspect of this prompt! Keep it up! 😙
Thank you❤️....this is the first thing that I read today😂❤️Made my day!
No problem, I'm glad I could! Feel free to check out my latest story if you're interested :)
I already did❤️
Great plot. Love how the story went. Would love to read it as a book.
Always coming up with totally different concepts. FP view just nailed it. Keep going baby. ❤️
The twist and turns throughout the story considering such a small plot and the use of language has to be really appreciated.Great work!!
A story with quick twists and turns and a wonderful ending..Good one👏😇
The revenge and pain of Dwight is well narrated through the dramatic ending. Awesom one.
The turn of events were quite unexpected. And the ending did justice to the story. Good one👍😄
I like asith very much. Asith is a very good person. He is a very good writer. He will become a very very good writer. In future, his stories will be told😊