Don’t Rock the Boat

Intellectual Dabrowski was in his element! As the self-appointed Alpha dog of the pack of five Dabrowski Dogs, Intellectual was barking out orders to all the residents of Malory Tennyson’s Cloudbank Cabin for Arthurian Studies. And as self-appointed researcher for Little Plump Jo, the current Artisan in Residence in the cabin, he was rounding up searches, references and citations at lightning speed.

This particular search had begun because Little Plump Jo wanted an illustration to attach to the profile she was building for her character, Elaine.

Elaine had proved to be a difficult character to handle. She had taken advantage of Jo’s lack of control over the plot line and characters in the Arthurian series she was writing and seized control of her own story. She informed Jo that she was no longer Elaine the Fair, Elaine the Lovely, the Lily Maid of Astolat. And she was not exactly The Lady of Shalott either. She was now to be The Lady Charlotte-Elaine, the Lady of Shalott, Entrepreneur owner of the business, Charlotte’s Web Weaving.

For hundreds of years Malory Tennyson had hosted authors and painters for retreats at Cloudbank Cabin. He had been there for Howard Pyle, T.H. White, Catherine Christian, Rosemary Sutcliff, Bernard Cornwell, Giles Kristian, Stephen Lawhead and so many others.

Sometimes they came in groups. He had mused along with the Inklings and been amused by the Monty Python team.

Usually they would leave a copy of their work in lieu of payment. When the Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood had visited they left wonderful paintings and William Morris even wallpapered some rooms in the cabin. Intellectual gave strict instructions that nobody was to lick the wallpaper in those rooms as his research had told him that Morris had used arsenic in his pigments.

Bookcases lined all the walls and extra piles of books were stacked on every available horizontal surface. And Malory had all the paintings of Arthurian subjects from ancient woodcut prints, through glorious classical oil paintings to modern day comics and manga. There were films and videos as well and music– records, tapes, stacks of sheet music for songs and operas and librettos for musicals.

Today Intellectual was concentrating on the paintings. He commanded that any pictures which appeared to include Elaine should be brought out.

“We will commence by sorting them according to whether they depict Elaine of Astolat or The Lady of Shalott,” he barked. “Put Elaine of Astolat on the left hand side of the room and The Lady of Shalott on the right.”

“How do we know which is which?” asked Sensual Dabrowski.

“Isn’t it obvious?” barked Intellectual. “If she is sitting up in the boat it is The Lady of Shalott and if she is lying down it is Elaine of Astolat.”

“What if she is not in a boat at all?”

“Good point. If she is not in a boat, and you can think you can decide which Elaine she is, make a new pile beside the boat pile on the appropriate side of the room. I will check those piles personally later,” barked Intellectual.

“Oh yes, and I must add do not divide up sets of works. For example, the Gustave Dore prints are a set. They were illustrations for Tennyson’s Idylls of the King poem Lancelot and Elaine. So they all refer to Elaine of Astolat.

Some of them have the boat included such as Lancelot looks upon the body of the Lady Elaine and Elaine's Body on its way to King Arthur's Palace

and some do not such as Lancelot Bids Adieu to Elaine and Elaine on Road to Cave of Lancelot.”

“And then there is Lancelot Relating His Adventures” growled Intellectual. “Look at him - holding forth about Arthur’s Glorious Wars when he was not even there!” Intellectual was about he begin another lecture on his own personal theory about the distinction between verifiable historical fact and literary interpretation.

“Why don’t we put on some music?” suggested Sensual Dabrowski. “Music while we work to lighten the mood.”

“Excellent idea, Sensual!” barked Intellectual. “Everyone find a piece of music that relates to these paintings! I will go first. I choose Smetana’s The Moldau.”

“How does that relate to the paintings?”

“Isn’t it obvious? The Moldau tells the story of the river starting as a trickle and a sparkle in the hills then flowing though towns and eventually rolling as a wide majestic river to the sea”

“I was thinking more of Lily maid by Heather Dale or No One Hears the Call by Jon Vijinski or The Lady Of Shalott by Loreena McKennitt or even The Realm Beyond the Cloudbank by Falconer and Freitag” said Sensual.

Psycho Motor Dabrowski bounced in bringing a painting to Intellectual “This one is a floating down the river picture but does not have any boat in it.”

“Oh Psycho, Psycho, Psycho! That is not either of them.

That is Ophelia – Shakespeare’s Ophelia, Rimbaud’s Ophelie

Ô pâle Ophélia ! belle comme la neige !

Oui tu mourus, enfant, par un fleuve emporté!

What is she even doing here?”

“She was a character in Little Plump Jo’s short story The Great Astolat to Camelot Damsel Floating Regatta” contributed Imaginational Dabrowski.

“Hmmf! It is no wonder Jo has so much trouble with basic things like plot lines and character arcs when she has you encouraging her!” growled Intellectual.

“These ones can all go on the Elaine of Astolat side,” said Emotional Dabrowski, who had been working away quietly with tears in her eyes.

Elaine by John Atkinson Grimshaw

Elaine and Lancelot by Eleanor Fortescue Brickdale

Elaine and Lancelot by Arthur Dixon

Elaine by Briton Riviere

Elaine by Edward Reginald Frampton

The Dead Steer'd by the Dumb Went Upward With the Flood...'  by Ernest Normand

Elaine (The Lily Maid of Astolat) by Sophie Gengembre Anderson

Elaine by Toby Edward Rosenthal

“That’s right. Thank you, Emotional,” barked Intellectual. “Sensual, what is taking you so long? What have you found?”

“Sorry, Intellectual. I was carried away admiring all the rich colours and textures and the amazing detail of these paintings by William Holman Hunt, John William Waterhouse, Arthur Hughes and Walter Crane. They are all titled The Lady of Shalott.

 And then there are also these ones I am Half Sick of Shadows” said the Lady of Shalott by John William Waterhouse and Artist not known, The Lady of Shalott reaches Camelot.”

“Thank you, Sensual. Actually I think we should put all the pictures of the barge arriving at Camelot in a separate group by the window. Unless they are specifically labelled they could potentially depict either of the Elaines. For example there is Elaine in the Barge by Lancelot Speed. I will sort them all later.”

“I have a set of sketches here by Pablo Priolo. They all go with Elaine of Astolat,” woofed Imaginational.

“And then there is this one. Lancelot Nursed by Elaine by George Wooliscroft Rhead and Louis Rhead This picture illustrates the line from Tennyson's Lancelot and Elaine ‘Her face was near, and as we kiss the child . . .’

We had so much fun with that one! Little Plump Jo and I wrote a pantomime play. And Emotional played the part of Elaine and Sensual was The Hermit. And Psycho Motor was Lavaine. He was outside making his horse curvet in a field of flowers, so he did not have to remember any lines. And the audience had to call out Don’t Kiss! Don’t Kiss!”

“Like I said before, Imaginational,” growled Intellectual. “It is no wonder Little Plump Jo is not managing to write a cohesive story about even one of the Arthurian stories - let alone attempt the whole epic!

While we are looking at that picture and the Pablo Priolo ones could someone please fetch Sidney Paget’s wonderful Lancillotto ed Elena: Sir Lancelot and Elaine of Astolat. I know that picture has been a powerful source of inspiration.”

“Here you are!” said Sensual. “And there are several beautiful portraits of Elaine which have the title Elaine; but it is not clear which Elaine it is. One of those portraits could make a good profile picture for Elaine.

“Thank you. Put all Elaine portraits over there by the window. Some of the portraits labelled Elaine are actually Elaine of Corbenic, the Grail Maiden and mother of Galahad. I think we can safely assume that Elaine would not want to use any of the Elaine of Astolat pictures. So you can take those all back, thank you.”

“Ooh, ooh, I think she would want to use this picture!” yelped Psycho Motor. “It is a boat picture!”

“If she is lying down in the boat, it is Elaine of Astolat and you can take it away now. If she is sitting up in the boat, put it over there with the Lady of Shalott boat pictures. She might choose one of those.”

“But Elaine does not regard herself as The Lady of Shalott either. She is determined not to die of unrequited love and float down to Camelot dead this time,” stated Emotional.

“True! Take away all the Lady of Shalott boat pictures. She may still choose a weaving picture from that group.”

“But don’t take away this boat picture! I know she wants this one! She commissioned it!” yelped Psycho Motor, bouncing frantically.

“Bring it over here to me then. Is she lying down or sitting up?”

“Neither!” yelped Psycho Motor triumphantly. “She is standing up in the boat holding up a brightly coloured tapestry as a sail. She is sailing off to her new life surrounded by all her beautiful weavings, tapestries, embroidery and beading works!”

“And the song to accompany it is Don’t rock the boat!”