HIS HIGHNESS

“Leonard!” I bellowed before the shock raptured my throat with a barrage of coughs, “Leon…”

The door opened, a short stubby figure stumbled in before crashing to the floor, “Yes your highness,” he stammered.

“Leonard, how do you spell the word ASS?”

“A-S-S, your highness,”

“Really? They don’t make words as they used to these days, how about EXPLODE?” 

“Your highness,” Leonard growled through his teeth, “I do not see how these words are related to your task,”

“Well, how would you know? I am the one who has been suffering with this speech for an hour now, I can’t even give credit to the 5 star lighting of this fine establishment,” I grumbled, taking a short glance at my surroundings. Four hard concrete walls with bars for a window. The sunlight shooting its way into my two day old domicile. “Leonard, how do you spell the word PERKY,”

I could hear the guards outside laugh in the moment. A brief sense of shame cornering my curiosity to the corner. “Your majesty, why don’t I write your speech for you,”

“Good idea Leonard, maybe we could get this over with faster,” Taking a seat next to me, Leonard cautiously took the pencil and paper from my bruised hands, not even splitting eye contact for a second. I could sense a deep pity ravaging my eyes. “Now where do you want to start?” Leonard cried, shocking me from my daydreaming. “At the beginning of course, all good speeches start at the beginning,”

Taking a deep breathe, eyes closed and back straightened, he turned back to me, “All speeches must have an introduction, something to get the crowds ready for what is to come,”

“Okay then, start with this, fear, my second best friend, born in the suburbs of a town called hate,”

“The words of the late King Alexandria,” Leonard commented, barely making a mark on the paper, “The same man you killed, I don’t think the crowds will like that,”

“Huh, now we care about what the crowds think? For god’s sake, I go for every court preceding dressed in a royal mantle and am called by the title your highness, that doesn’t exactly call for public sympathy,”

“Okay, fine,” Leonard snapped, writing down some words before I continued, “I was merely fifteen when I got a job in the castle, my mother used to be a stable maid, she got fucked by the king and was later executed for trying to kill him with witchcraft,” I chuckled, “Apparently she had cursed his balls with an itching,”

“Your highness, I do not think this is appropriate,”

“I killed a man, and fucked his wife, and this is inappropriate? In comparison to that, this speech is just a nursery rhyme,”

“Fine,” Leonard grumbled as he went about scribbling,”

“The night my conscience betrayed me, the poetic words of the Great King Alexandria, haunted my very soul. My liege, braced with a barrel of booze and a belle by his side, stared us right in the face and declared himself a saint. My foe, a man destined to mount the stairs of heaven in a quest to take a seat with the father. I was twenty five when he said it. A mere page in his benevolent army of yes boys. He said the words with the slight slip of his tongue, saliva bracing his lips causing a certain glow at their tip. I could feel my blood boil that very instant.

Just the previous night, I held his glass as he forced himself upon a barmaid. Her name was Bell. She was the tall athletic type. Caramel skin with eyes that gave off that exotic flare that could make any heart melt. She had fiery energy that consumed any room she walked into. Her laugh, oh, don’t get me started on her laugh. She had the most curiously childish voice, a perfect soprano. Yet her screams,” I choked in my own words, “Her screams of agony were those of nightmares. They proved to be of no help as the guards had been instructed to hold her down. All I could make out were the shadows. Her naked body exposed, curvy, breasts stiff and perky. Taking in the sight turned my mouth dry as my mind tried to wrap itself around the situation. Her eyes went silent and dead by the time he was getting done. Tears having replaced the screams haunted my mind. Her blank stare was locked onto my eyes as her life flashed before my eyes. She was only nineteen, struggling to care for her orphaned siblings and haunted by the loss of a gambling mother. She loved to sing, especially for her siblings around the campfire. I was responsible for what befell her. Guilt tore through my soul as I felt my shaft turn hard in that moment. The laughing in the background covering up a man’s sins, a party that no one seemed to care for. A trap she never saw coming.”

Leonard instantly stopped, turning his gaze upon me, “Are you serious?”

“Yes, I saw the whole thing,”

“Not that you idiot, fine the King was an asshole, but you killed him,” he scolded, “This could be your only chance at gaining a hint of favor in the courts and your excuse is that your victim deserved it?”

“Leonard, my young naïve junior,” I chuckled, the chains cluttering to my rhythm

“No, don’t start with that, just a few days ago I was your senior,” he scolded, “now you are in chains and headed for a death sentence,”

“Leonard, write,” I whispered, “It was stupid at the time, but I wanted him to hurt, why should a man so cruel live a life of such bliss?”

“Fool,” Leonard mumbled through his teeth while he scribbled

“Right after his speech, the queen, the belle at his side, his wife…”

“Oh, your prosecutor?”

“Yes, she was something like that,” I cackled, “Called me to the side as her husband went about his drunken trance. See, I was her spy, and it was time for the report,”

“Then what?” Leonard interrupted, “She didn’t take the news so well so she killed him and accused you?”

“Well dear Leonard, the story is a little bit more complicated than that,” I snickered, “It was business as usual for the first few minutes, until I got into the details. I remember, that sweet caress from the fury carpet turning bitter. I slowly watched her skin turn pale in an instant. The blonde in her hair, no longer a glistening gold gave a frightful sight. The room went silent, only the flames from the torch dared to speak. In that instant I could see her jaws clench tighter, with every second, my words sinking in further and further. This was not her first time to hear such news; but this time it was different,”

“When did all this happen?” she asked

“Last night,” I replied just before she broke into a strained hysterical laughter, “We made love that same night,” she replied, “And he had the audacity?”

Her question was only met with silence as I tried to hide my shame, my mind flashing the memories right before my eyes. I could sense her frustration as she got up from her bed. Her once full lips, shrunken from the distress, quivered as she tried to speak. Graceful as always, she sauntered towards me, taking a stand at my feet. Her body towering over mine by a whole head, she lowered her temple towards mine, resting. Her scent, lavender stained with blood and sweat, inhabited my space. Her eyes, drowning in sorrow glistened with tears as her mantle dropped to the ground with a silent thud. Cautiously taking my hand, she capped it over her naked breasts. I could feel my blood rush, my brain running dry as a hardness enveloped my groin. She let go, and my hand stayed frozen in place, I did not want to let go. The whispers in my mind screaming for justice, “He did not deserve this love, and neither did I,”

I wish I could tell you what was happening in her brain; but her hand was not one to rest. She took me, placing my other hand over her peach like buttocks, pulling me closer till she could feel the bulge of my groin. We stayed unmoving for what felt like hours. Her lips brushed against mine over and over, barely triggering a worthy response, each more awkward than the other. I could feel her wetness, screaming for the final deed and yet I remained frozen. In my mind, the barmaid’s tears replayed. 

“Well that explains a part of the stories,” Leonard blurted, “And then how did the king come into the picture?”

“Oh, him,” I laughed, “I would never forget about him. It was in the heat of the moment, her hands had slipped into my pants, tagging at the bulge before it finally got loose. Hard as hell, and ready to satisfy her every sexual desire. Just as she leaned in, I closed my eyes, open to infinite expectations. My world was spinning and she was the only fulcrum in sight. I could feel her hand wrapped around my shaft, cold yet smooth as silk. The build up was instant, an orgasm I never even knew I wanted. Then right in that moment, the door burst open. King Alexandria, clad in full royal attire staggered in. His eyes fixed upon us as we froze like deer. All the blood drained from my body as the adrenaline shot in, I could feel my penis shrink in an instant. There she was, naked as the night, a smile of satisfaction, her only clothing. 

“You little runt,” he yelled, “I will kill you for this,” 

Barely a second from his stance, the old man reached for his chest. His face as red as a tomato, his eyes bulged as a grape. His ragged body stumbled its way forward, as he gasped for a breath. I was still frozen in place, my dick shrunk and cold as a Popsicle. I could feel the cold wind of the night, kiss my skin goodnight one last time. The queen’s face, once full of delight folded with fright. His foot wrapped in the carpet’s end causing him to trip. A loud thud that left the queen agape. The room went cold as I watched him draw his last breath. I watched her crawl to his side, like a broken beast. The Queen, wrapped in ecstasy broke into a laughter that echoed through the halls. My mind frozen in place watched as she gradually shifted from laughter to tears. 

“Wow, that is one hell of an excuse,” Leonard spoke up, “If I can’t believe it, then who will?”

My face, cold from the brush of reality, raced with explanations. A mad rapist for a King, a jealous bitch for a Queen, a stupid boy for a spy. What couldn’t have gone wrong?

“Leonard, take me to the gallows, I think my speech is done,”

Leonard rolled his eyes, clearly an action triggered by disgust. As I dragged my way through the corridors, the sounds of the gallows echoed through the halls. An angry crowd on the verge of insanity. They wanted the head of a killer. Unknown to them, they instead got themselves the head of a coward. My life flashed before my eyes, a boring one if you were to ask me. If I was to do it again, I would have left the castle at 15, I would have defended the poor barmaid, I would have grabbed the queen by her waist and passionately kissed her, I would have been proud of what I had become. A martyr for an already broken state.

And just as the noose was wrapped around my throat, Leonard stood at my side, paper in hand. He began to read my words out loud. Eyes were rolled, teeth were sucked and smiles remained hidden.

As my body rocked in the wind, all I could think was, “That damn bastard had edited it.”