Funny Friendship Romance

Amy looked into Charlie’s eyes and spoke, “Good night, good night! As sweet repose and rest

come to thy heart as that within my breast!”

Charlie looked at his script and said, “Oh, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?”

Giving him a mischievous look, “What satisfaction canst thou have to-night?”

“The exchange of thy love's faithful vow for mine.”

“I give up. Your words ring false as marbles hitting a plate.”

Charlie frowned. “What? Amy, that isn’t in the script.”

“I don’t feel it, Charles.”

“What’s that mean?”

“It means, ‘I. Don’t. Feel. It.’ You don’t mean it.”

“I’m not trying out for a play. You asked me to run lines. My prodigious talents do not include acting. You expect me to become the character?”

“Of course not. I’m talking here. Hello? Amy to Charlie… come in… Me. Not the character.”

“You mean…?”

“Your words are empty. You’re saying the most romantic lines ever. If you can’t make me believe them, what does that say about how you feel?”

He put the script down. “I can tell you, as you, how I feel, as me. I don’t need Shakespeare to say it.”

“I think it’s too late.”

“I just got here. We’ve barely started.”

“I don’t mean tonight. I mean we’ve… run out the clock.”

Charlie shook his head.

Amy touched his hand. “It’s not working.”

“Are you saying…?”

She looked away. “I didn’t want to. Don’t want to…”

“You’re breaking up?”

She blinked back tears. “It’s just…”

“I don’t believe this. We were rehearsing…”

“You’re such a nice guy, but…”

“Wait a minute. You’re breaking it off because I’m too nice?”

“No. You’re…”

“Talk about cheap shots…”

“This isn’t what I wanted…”

Charlies stood up. He looked out the window. “Is it someone else?”

“No. Of course not. You’re everything I ever wanted…”

“But what?”

“You’re perfect. I… I don’t deserve you.”

They looked at each other in silence.

“You don’t deserve…? What does that even mean? What did you do? Why would you ever…?”

“I didn’t… I don’t…” She struggled. “Charlie, please understand. You are so nice. You’re so smart. You have it all. You’ll find someone… better.”

She walked toward her door and opened it. He moved into the doorway and turned. She looked away.

“Amy, I‘ve thought about what you said. About how smart I am and all… I have to agree.”

She gasped. “You do?”

“Right well, I see what you mean.”

“You do?”

“Not wanting to hurt your feelings, I couldn’t say it.” Now Amy struggled to understand.

“You have a point, though. I get better grades. And you never get my humor.”

She looked down. “Yeah. Puns. I’ll never get them…”

“So, I must say I’m relieved. It’s exhausting to hold back so you can keep up.”

“I exhaust you?”

“You don’t get half of the literary references I make.” He posed. “Yet falling in love is not the same as being able to love.”

“You lost me...”

“The Polish poet, Czeslaw Milosz, said it. I almost think he was talking about me when he said that. Of course we never met.”

“I didn’t know you spoke Polish.”

“I didn’t want to brag, but did I tell you NASA wants to name a constellation after me?”

“A star?”

“No, a whole constellation. Ursa Minor gets no respect, being in Ursa Major’s shadow, so to speak. So they plan to name it after me.”

“Barry, right? Your middle name, right?” He gave her an odd look. “Get it? Little Barry? Ursa Minor? Get it?”

“Right. You don’t even know what I’m talking about. That proves my point.”

“Charlie, why would NASA name anything after you?”

“I have a BS in Astro-physics.”

“BS. That’s short for… breeze shooting?”

“The operative word would be ‘bachelor.’ Moving on. Last summer, when I took that trip, I did a little time traveling.”

“Don’t tell me, your BS in bs?”

“Since we have been delving into Shakespeare… I thought you’d like to know I gave ol’ Bill some of his best ideas.”

“Boy, you are smart.”

“I wanted Hamlet to end on a more up-beat note. But Bill couldn’t make up his mind.”

“It’s sad.”

“But, until I came along, Juliet was all about the bling.”

Amy looked concerned. “Such a terrible waste… a mind.”

“So, Amy, don’t feel bad about the split.”

“I’m already feeling better.”

“We’ll see each other, I’m sure. We could even have coffee if we ran into each other.”

“Sure, coffee…”

“But you’ll understand if I see others. And you obviously want to play the field.”

“Of course…”

Charlie took her hand. He stepped closer. “We’ll still be friends.”

She brought them closer. “I’d like that.”

“Might as well. I mean… we like each other.”


“Only not, ‘like that.’ Right?”


Standing hand in hand, they became quiet. Neither knew how to end this.

Charlie murmured, “So…”


“Should I go?”

“If you need to…”

“No… I planned to be here…”

“Oh, right… you can stay. That would be nice.”

“So, you want to keep running lines?”

“Sure. That would help me. We’re still friends, after all.”

“Of course…”

They returned to the rehearsal table and picked up their scripts.

Charlie said, “Hmm… Where do you want to start?”

“Where we were. I’ll begin…” She paused to assume the character. “Ahem…”

“Wait… I have an idea.”


“You don’t want to hear it?”

“No, I meant, ‘let’s hear it.’”

“Okay. The ‘Shakespearean’ language... I stumbled over it. What if I translate my lines and see how they play?”

“Okay. Worth a try… Ahem… Good night, good night! As sweet repose and rest

come to thy heart as that within my breast!” She looked at him.

“I love you, Amy.”

That wasn’t the line, but she smiled. “And I love you, Charles Barry.”

“Don’t ever leave.”

She struggled to suppress a giggle. “I couldn’t do that.”

Charlie waited for her to look at him. He smiled at her. “What do you think?

“You mean…?”

“My acting…”

“Better. But the meter of the original is truer…”

“I get it. Stick to the script.”

“Maybe you’re simplifying now. Not confusing the character with your own feelings.”

“That must be it.”

“Again from the top?”

“Sure. You want to get dinner later?”

“Uhm, you mean as friends?”

“Well duh!”

“That would be great.”

January 13, 2021 03:21

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Sailor Zuna
23:05 Mar 09, 2021

yes its cute and quirky in away


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Sailor Zuna
23:05 Mar 09, 2021

yes its cute and quirky in away


John K Adams
22:50 Mar 11, 2021

Thanks for reading and commenting. Like to know how people react.


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Alejandra Ponce
18:46 Feb 22, 2021

Well done!! I liked how funny it all turned and how the sarcasm made it soothing little by little! You are realy good writing!


John K Adams
22:50 Mar 11, 2021

Thanks for reading and the kind words. I hope you'll read more.


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23:16 Jan 26, 2021

Hello from the critique circle! I found Barry's 'twist' in the conversation quite amusing. I also really enjoy Shakespeare, so the reference to 'Bill' was equally funny ;)


John K Adams
16:19 Jan 29, 2021

Emilie, I'm glad you enjoyed the story. It was fun to write. Thanks for the comment.


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