The Kind Bear And The Guiding Flower

CW: Self deprecating thought, homophobe, language

The mother stood there with her phone in hand. "Move in closer girls!" She exclaims happily. The youngest daughter lunged onto her older sister's side, cupping her hand into a heart. And the oldest, she merely wrapped an arm around her sister's shoulder holding up a peace sign. 

"Happy birthday!" The two shout once their mother gave the signal. 

"Uncle J'll love it, right sissy?" The youngest asked, beaming at the older one. The corners of the older one's lips turned upwards and she nodded.

"Yeah- course he will." She responds ruffling the younger ones hair. The mother stood there watching them with a smile.

I sat on my bed, criss cross applesauce, staring at the photo. That was me, two years ago. I thought to myself. That was two years before I went down the rabbit hole of talking to people online, before I learnt a few things. Before I knew the thoughts people could have.

With a heavy sigh, I set the photo back onto my nightstand. I got off my bed moving to my dresser taking the pile of clothes I picked out last night. I glanced at my sister's bed opposite of mine. I ruffled her hair whispering: "Have a good day Kacie.", before leaving to the bathroom. It felt weird undressing and dressing in the same room as her, both because of my changes, and the ones she was going through.

So I closed and locked the bathroom door, setting the clothes on the counter. Quickly I undressed, putting on the slightly see through leggings with floral designs, and then the skirt. I stared down at them. The leggings were a soft clean gray, and the skirt was only a bit darker than that with four honey brown buttons down the center. I sighed a little, putting on a bra, and then my white button up. 

It was from the men's section, and while I firmly believed in my womanness being, it made me happy. Men's clothing are much more modest than women's. I commented. I tucked the shirt into the skirt, making to pull a bit out, hiding the shape of my stomach. Fat ass bitch. I inhaled sharply as those words hit me again. Maybe if you didn't eat two plates during dinner so often you'd stay skinny like in that photo.. But like always, with a tiny bite on the tongue, I put on my father's graduation ring and a few vintage looking necklaces on. 

I grabbed a few hair pins from the bowl on the counter using them to successfully have my hair hide one of my scars. I stare at it a little, in the mirror. I remember I got it from Kacie. She was swinging one of her rope like toys around- and apparently the material was much sharper than we all realized. I smiled a little, it hurt like a bitch then- but it doesn't bother me much, and I'm not mad at her. It's Kacie, kind of hard to be mad at her. I thought with a tiny laugh. 

After finishing my effort in doing my hair, I turned on the faucet, briefly splashing water onto my face. I left the bathroom and grabbed my dance boots. They were a solid shimmery opal color, and didn't have a heel that most dance boots had(thank the Gods). 

I sat down on the couch sliding on my shoes and double checking my backpack contained everything I needed. It did, thankfully. If it didn't it meant I left something at my Aunt's house, and if I was missing something it's not like I can just up and walk to her house or anything.

Lazily, I turned on the T.V going onto YouTube. I clicked through the random channels before landing on an art one, choosing that. The chick was drawing a random anime character- I was clueless, but hey, it was something to watch til six thirty. Gods- high school sucks. I grumbled to myself folding my arms. 

I walked down the familiar road that came from the bus stop. Today was surprisingly easy. In Current World Issues, we were covering the Russia and Ukraine War, talking about that and media bias. Interesting combination for today's lesson, but it makes sense. I often thought. And in German, well, it's a language class, so that was self explanatory. Honors English and Photography were going well too. I bit my lip, remembering about Algebra. 

I let out a deep exhale reaching a hand up to tightly grip the strap. 

Soon, I make it to my house and get inside. "Hey momma, how are you doing?" I ask taking off my mask. Because of all of our plants, our house air was just as refreshing as the outside air. I smiled a little. It made the wearing of the mask so much more bearable. 

"I'm alright, how about you kiddo?" She replies. I easily unzip my boots, setting them down next to the door. 

"Pretty much the same. Today was pretty chill." I answer setting my backpack down for a brief moment, stretching. I go to the kitchen to get a glass of water.

"It's better than nothing." She comments.

"Agreed." I say, filling a glass. "Lilly made me earrings." I state with a grin. 

"Oh?" 

"Mhm." I say chugging the glass of water setting it on the counter. I walk into the living room, and to my backpack taking out the little pouch. I go and show it to her opening the bag. Her eyes widen seeing the small tiny little mushrooms. "Cool, huh?" I ask with the largest grin.

"They're so nifty!" My mom exclaims in a whisper. She held one of them up. It was that cliche red mushroom with white spots, but it looked vintage somehow. It was so nice- so thoughtful. I smile seeing her look at the earrings. Soon enough, she hands them over and I carefully put them back in the bag. "Lilly's wonderful." I say softly. I heard my mom smile. 

I gather my stuff, and end up filling up my water bottle, bringing it all into my room. "Sadie! Remember to take out the trash!" My mother shouted.

"Okay!" I reply, setting my water bottle onto my nightstand. I let out a sigh looking at the room, Kacie's side of the room was bright and colorful yet gothic. My side of the room? Plain, academic. Witch-y. I start undressing, grabbing a hoodie and putting that on instead, with some simple shorts. 

I plop onto my bed, grabbing my phone from one of the various pockets my backpack contained. Opening my contact list, I hit on Lilly's number. 

Sadie Bear: Hello luv : )

I opened Spotify and plugged in my headphones listening to CORPSE and by then… She responded.

Flower: Sadie Bear! :D

Flower: Hru?

Sadie Bear: Pretty good!

Sadie Bear: The earrings you made were so adorable hjk,jmfcxufjkjceimdkf

Flower: : D

Flower: I'm glad u like them so much Sadie Bear!

I laughed, smiling happy at the conversation.

Sadie Bear: It's kind of hard not to tbh 

Flower: : )

Sadie Bear: What are you up to?

Flower: Not much

Flower: U?

I lean against the light post smiling behind my mask. "Hey my little flower!" I exclaim, opening my arms and the lovely little brunette with her hair dyed half pink tightly hugged me. I laugh.

"Sadie Bear!" She grins, looking up at me. I kiss her forehead. Her giggles- oh my God- I thought to myself. I couldn't help but chuckle, inhaling her scent. 

"How are you?" I sigh, taking her hand as the two of us walked to our school.

"Wonderful now that you're here." She says with a wink. My eyes widen and I felt myself blush. Thank God for my mask-

"Hey!" The two of us stood alert, looking around. My shoulders sag. Isac. I put a protective arm around Lilly and while Isac always pisses me off- when my girl leaned into me, my being pissed was an automatic. 

"What do you want, Isac?" I ask calmly. He was only a few feet away from us. 

"For y'all to break up." He says lifting his chin. "It's wrong ya know. Two women loving each other." I stare at him, tightening my arm around Lilly in little pulses: I love you. 

"If it's so wrong, Isac.. Then why is it legal?" I ask walking past him, making sure he was away from Lilly. 

"Cause y'all are manipulative bitch-" I turn my head to him giving him a look.

"Want to continue that?" I felt Lilly peek behind my shoulder, hand on my back: Back off. I felt my heart clench. 

"See what I mean?" He asks folding his arms. In doing such, I saw him holding a phone. I scoffed. Well, that explains her tellin' me to back off. I thought looking at him.

"Whatever, Isac. Love's love. Fu- suck it." I say, biting my tongue to prevent me from saying anything else. And with that, Lilly was the one to be the guide, leaving the situation.

"Next time," Lilly starts. "You should just tell him to stop instead of edging him."

"Oh- but where's the fun in that?" I ask with a tiny smile. "People'll see he's being a dick." Lilly let out a long sigh before vaguely nodding.

"I guess I can see that.. But Sadie." She says giving me a look. I sigh disappointingly.

"I see your point as well.." I say flopping next to her. The grass on school campus was surprisingly soft. And clean of dog poop. I thought to myself with a smile.

I turn to face Lilly, poking her nose. She grins. "What do you want for lunch?" She asks pulling me into a hug.

"I don't know." I say, wrapping my arms around her. "You?" I whisper. She bursts out laughing.

"Sadie!"

"What?!" I exclaim, laughing.

"Nothing- I love you." She says, landing a peck on my cheek. I smile.

"I love you too."

"Now seriously, what do you want for lunch?"