One more time

I have been standing there all alone in a moor. Coldness and darkness surrounding me and engulfing me whole. I have been here for how long …I don’t know. It seems like forever…

This place always remains the same,Dark ,cold,hollow but at the same time holding back something hideous behind its misty air …the moor was surrounded by a thick fog which won’t allow my eyes to see what lies there…All I can see is rough barren land in the mid of it , a tree under which lies my place ,a wooden old bench. I have been sitting here for so long …I can’t remember how I ended up here or what was my past and above all of this who am I ?

Sometimes I am not sure if I am alone here, sometimes it feels like this place holds more than me and sometimes I can’t feel my presence in it.No,I have not a single time tried to get out of here, I am a coward or afraid to get lost in this misty maze.

I just sit in the same spot in the dead dark waiting for something to happen a rescue or waking up like it was just a bad dream but nothing like this have happened yet. I don’t know but I have been clinging to a ray of hope that one day sun will rise and the darkness and coldness of this place will end. One day I will go where I belong…

.

.

.

I am losing this one hope now 

.

.

.

Its getting darker and darker

And 

Colder

My head is aching and I am filling dizzy,my lungs can’t get enough air …

I am getting dizzy, the view is blurry may be I am getting sleepy ..just like that I fell in my dream world.

My dreams have always been bizarre sometimes a black hooded figure always trying to catch me ..or a giant spider with eight different human faces trying to eat me and I fainted every time but this time its different. Or may be its not a dream at all. I see a little shiny thing in mid air getting brighter and brighter, now all the blurry view is getting litten up by it.I stood up in excitement and move toward it.I have never seen something like this before. A spark of hope. What I have been waiting for. I moved my hand in its directions and caged it in my hand’s prison. I could feel heat setting fire in my body .Warming me and the moor which have been cold for so long.I could feel the hope in my palm. Just when it became unbearable to hold it I opened my fist and it went wild and disappeared in the fog. A big door appeared where the spark had vanished. I kept staring at it.

For a minute or two I didn’t know what to do next. The door seemed to holding light behind it.Little sparks waiting eagerly to escape and set fire in this dead moor. May be that’s what I am suppose to do. Just open the doors, with that I moved forward and it took all my strength to open 12 feet tall doors.

The little sparks gushed passed by me, setting fire in the moor.

It was not just that, they pushed me and I heard the door shutting behind me. I did not turn even once because a more beautiful destination was waiting for me.

Ahead of me was a big glass bridge of stairs which I had never seen in my life ,every step of it was shining and sparkling with blue light. I stepped forward in excitement,I could feel the warmth of this place which I have never felt before. 

.

.

In my life

.

.

 All my life

A flashback came, me as a baby in a walker

A tear fell down from my left eye.

I could feel a salty,warm,tear trickling down on my cheek.

Yes, we all start from innocence. I wiped my the tears from my sleeve. Wait a minute…

Am I wearing clothes. I looked down, I was wearing lousy trousers,wornout trainers and blood stained white shirt. Why have I never thought like this before. I looked down at my hands and almost fainted ,my hands had barely skin on them all it was there was my bony fingers and leftover flesh.

My mind swarmed up with questions...Why are they like this? Am I dead?

This was the worst idea I had but it seems to be the only valid reason I was in the that place. Reason for being all alone and my wired appearance. I couldn’t take in the reality .My heart was pounding in my chest. I wanted to know my past, at this moment more than ever.

I started climbing stairs fastly to know what has done in my life. Why did I die? Whose blood is on my shirt? How I ended up here?

As I keep climbing stairs, flashbacks started to come.

Memories in front of my eyes, which I never knew I had before.

I saw my mother

Her beautiful eyes were filled with love for me.

She was trying to protect me …not to become like my father. My father is the least person I would want to know, bad tempered, cruel man who will beat me and my mum when ever he gets a chance.

I could feel rage building in me, fists clenched.

Then the scene changed, I grew up fell in love .

Yo!Man,she is pretty,as I saw myself with a beautiful girl.

Those were nice days..

Got married, had a daughter.

I could feel her giggling ,I don’t know how much old she will be now? I had a daughter whom I never knew!

What father am I ?

Curse me!!

Wait! This is a punishment .Not knowing about your own family, your loved ones ..

I started to think If everything is good then where did it all go wrong.I further step forward. I could see the exit door. A new world was waiting for me, then as I stepped on last stair hoping this will soon end,I came to know that…

One night, My mum sent me text message of just two words but they themselves was alarming to me. Save me.

Panicked rushed in my body, without telling anything to my wife. I grabbed the keys, opened the door, started the car and left the house. The whole time,I was worrying, palms sweating. Why would she text me like this in the dead of night.

Finally I reached the house. All the lights were on, to my horror the front door was open. It could be a burglars or may be mum forgot to shut it but how can she forget to close it.Thousand possibilities ran in my mind. 

I went in ,everything in the house was same. Nothing missing. I quietly move upstairs where my mums bedroom was. There was already someone in there along with my mom I could feel his presence,sweat was trickling down my face I moved forward I tried to hide behind the door and move my head a little out to see who is standing next to her. I saw a man, an old man with a knife, aimed at my mother. She was kneeling down on the floor.

After spending all those years in his presence how can I forget his appearance. Without a doubt he was my father. All these years he came again to hurt us I couldn’t control myself so I leapt on him without giving him a chance, grabbed that knife he was holding and strangled him aiming the knife at him he was still in shock what has just done.Mother looked up at him to me. She tried to pursued me to put that knife down but this knife was not going to get down this time and I was persistent to kill him. I was not going to let him go this time and make him ruin our life again. I was about to stab him when he pulled his gun out from his back and without a hesitation shot me twice in the chest, I stabbed him on the right side and the damage was done even if I was going to die it was sure that he’ll die too.He won’t be able to hurt us again, it was the end of all of this. Mother pushed him away and laid me on her lap giving hope that I will be okay. Her eyes were filled with tears and so do mine, fear for not seeing my family again was taking over. I was badly bleeding, I couldn’t breathe well my lungs cant get enough air. She called ambulance but it was too late for both of us.It all went black,cries of my mother faded away and just like that I died…

So now I know about my past and about my family. After all I wasn’t all alone. I had people who loved me and are waiting for me and tonight I will reunite with them. I don’t know what I am feeling, joy to see them again or grief for being away from them and not knowing about them. I don’t know which hurts the most but tonight I will see them again and it is enough for me to forget all the pain.

 I was standing at the end of staircase, ahead of me was another door but not that brighter. It was just a wooden door I could hear people chattering and life behind those doors. Reluctantly, I opened the door. I could see the people from that door.It was a door, connecting the two worlds living and dead world. First I thought maybe I have come alive but when I saw the decorations music people on the street I realized it’s The Halloween day;when ghosts come back to the living world to meet their families. I ran toward my house in panic.If I could find them again maybe I’ll get the chance to see them again, my heart pounding against my chest pending do I even have lungs .Nope, I did not. Running to see them again.I stopped at the house, my home it was the same.My perfect home.With a relief I came in,I walked right through the wall. I saw my mother on a couch eating porridge, my wife putting on a costume on my daughter, she was the beautiful little creature I have ever seen. Her costume was a cat, She was fond of kitten from her chikdhood.How much did I miss?She has grown up so much? She use to be 6 monthes old when I last saw her and now a 4 year old ,a toddler.I have missed her saying papa,her first walk,her first everything now.I just kept standing there just to get a good look at them and then when I wanted more… it all went blurry and someone grabbed me from my waist and pulled me dragging me in to another world through a portal.

The misty air filled everything. My lungs dying from its smell. I seem to be forgetting everything about my past and this night.No,I don’t want to forget it but it was too late.    I found myself on a the same bench sitting all alone in the dark misty fog, waiting for something to happen…a spark may be…