Beyond the Shrouded Path

Submitted into Contest #290 in response to: Write a story about love without ever using the word “love.”... view prompt

19 comments

Fantasy Historical Fiction Romance

ACT 1: THE FOREST AND THE VISION 

The mist clung to the trees like whispered secrets, curling around gnarled roots and weaving between the ancient oaks. The air shimmered with unseen forces, the scent of damp earth mingling with crushed herbs and wild blossoms. This was no ordinary wood—it was a place of old magic, where time twisted and the veil between worlds thinned. 

Elaine knew this forest as she knew the rhythm of her own breath. It was sacred, untouched by the march of men who now built their stone temples and preached of one god. Here, the Old Ways still pulsed beneath the soil, their power ancient and unyielding. She knelt beside a shallow stream, her fingers trailing through the water, feeling the song of the land in the current. 

Then she felt it—a shift in the air, a ripple in the unseen. A presence. 

She rose swiftly, her fingers curling around the carved wooden pendant at her throat. He had come. 

--- 

Sir Edric had ridden hard, his armor caked with mud, his blade heavy at his side. The battle had been swift and merciless, a skirmish against raiders at the kingdom’s border. The wounds were shallow—scratches along his arms, a bruise forming beneath his ribs—but exhaustion weighed him down. 

Somewhere along the way, he had lost the path. The trees had thickened, the air had turned dense, and soon, the world around him had shifted into something unfamiliar. He should have turned back, should have called upon his god for guidance, but something deeper, something unspoken, had driven him forward. 

And then he saw her. 

She stood across the clearing, barefoot upon the moss, her long hair spilling over her shoulders like woven dusk. A simple gown of deep green clung to her form, the color of leaves after rainfall. In the dappled light, her eyes held the depths of the forest itself—dark, knowing, unfathomable. 

The moment their gazes locked, something unseen passed between them. 

Elaine inhaled sharply, a vision striking her like a blade of ice. She saw him not as he was now, but as he would be—a man torn in two, bound to a world that would never accept him, reaching for something he could never hold. She saw a child, small and fragile, its fate tied to theirs in ways neither could yet understand. She saw the parting, the mist swallowing all that was and all that could have been. 

She took a step back. 

"You should not be here," she said. Her voice was steady, though her heart had turned traitor, pounding against her ribs. 

Edric did not move. "I am lost." 

Her lips pressed into a thin line. "Perhaps." 

He frowned, unsure if she spoke of the forest or of something else. 

The silence stretched, thick with something unspoken. The knight was not as he had expected—there was no scorn in his eyes, no disdain for the wild places of the world. And yet, she knew what he was. A servant of the new faith. A sword sworn to a cause that sought to erase all that she was. 

Still, she stepped forward. 

"You are hurt," she murmured, her gaze flickering to the dried blood at his temple. 

"It is nothing." 

A lie. She saw the way he held himself, the tension in his frame. But more than that, she saw the weight he carried, the battle that warred beneath his skin. 

"I will tend to you." The words left her lips before she could reconsider. 

She should not do this. Should not let him any closer. And yet, the vision burned in her mind—the child, the mist, the parting. She did not know when or how, but she knew with certainty: this man was bound to her, as the stars were bound to the sky. 

Edric hesitated, his knight’s training warring with the pull in his chest. He had been raised to see her kind as dangerous, as relics of a past that must be buried. And yet, he felt no danger. Only something else. Something unnameable. 

At last, he nodded. 

--- 

She led him deeper into the woods, to a glade where the world felt untouched by time. The air smelled of crushed lavender and sage, the wind carrying the faint whisper of an unseen chorus. 

Elaine worked in silence, grinding herbs into a poultice, pressing it to his wounds with practiced hands. He should have flinched, but instead, he found himself watching her. 

"You know what I am," he said at last. It was not a question. 

Elaine’s fingers stilled. "Yes." 

"And yet you help me." 

A pause. Then: "You are not the first knight to bleed upon this land." 

He studied her. "And how many have you saved?" 

Her gaze met his then, steady and unreadable. "Not as many as I have lost." 

The weight of her words pressed between them. Edric felt it—the ghosts of battles fought long before his time, the wounds left by men who bore crosses upon their chests and steel in their hands. And yet, she had not turned him away. 

"Why do you serve them?" she asked suddenly, breaking the stillness. "When they seek to erase all that came before?" 

He should have answered without hesitation. Should have spoken of duty, of faith, of the oaths he had sworn. But instead, he found himself saying, "Because I was told it was right." 

Elaine tilted her head, studying him. "And yet, you are here." 

He had no answer for that. 

The silence stretched, thick with something unspoken. The world around them felt suspended, as if it, too, held its breath. 

And then, softly, she said, "I saw you before you arrived." 

His brow furrowed. "What do you mean?" 

Her fingers curled around the pendant at her throat, her expression shadowed. "I see things," she admitted. "Visions. Threads of what may come." 

His chest tightened. "And what did you see of me?" 

Elaine hesitated. She should not tell him. Should not plant the seed of something that must never take root. But the weight of fate pressed upon her, demanding to be spoken. 

At last, she whispered, "A path you cannot follow." 

Something inside him twisted. "And if I tried?" 

She exhaled slowly, as if she had already mourned what could not be. "Then you will break." 

The words settled between them, an unspoken warning, a prophecy wrapped in sorrow. 

And yet, neither of them moved away. 

The night deepened, the stars overhead burning like silent witnesses. Somewhere in the distance, the mists stirred. 

The path had been set. 

ACT 2: THE VISION AND THE FALL 

The first time Edric sought her out after that night in the glade, he told himself it was only to give thanks. 

He was a man of duty, bound by his vows, and yet something in him had shifted. The sacred grove lingered in his mind like a half-remembered dream, its silence more profound than the chanting of any prayer. The wound she had tended had long since healed, yet he felt an ache beneath his ribs that had nothing to do with flesh and everything to do with her. 

And so he rode, following an unspoken pull, until the mist thickened and the trees whispered secrets in tongues he could not understand. 

Elaine was waiting for him. 

"You should not have come," she murmured, her gaze heavy with something unspoken. 

"And yet I am here." 

He stepped closer, watching her as one watches the edge of a blade—drawn to its beauty despite the knowledge of its sharpness. 

"You walk between two worlds, Edric," she said, searching his face. "One will claim you in the end." 

"You speak as though I have no choice in the matter." 

A ghost of a smile played at her lips. "We all believe we have a choice. Until we do not." 

The words unsettled him, but he pushed forward. "Then tell me my fate, priestess. Show me what I cannot see." 

Her fingers tightened around the carved pendant at her throat. She should not do this. She should let him leave, allow the world to take him as it would. 

And yet. 

Elaine stepped toward him, lifting a hand to his forehead. At her touch, the world fell away. 

--- 

Visions did not come to her like dreams, soft and half-formed. They struck like lightning, searing through the veil of time. 

Edric stood upon a precipice, a sword in one hand, an oath in the other. Two paths stretched before him—one paved with duty, the other with longing. He reached, but his fingers found only mist, slipping through his grasp no matter which way he turned. 

Beyond the mist, a figure waited. A child, neither fully of this world nor the next. Small hands reached for him, eyes dark as the deepest woods. And then— 

The mist thickened. The vision shattered. 

Elaine gasped as she pulled back, her breath unsteady. 

Edric caught her wrists before she could turn away. "What did you see?" 

"Nothing that concerns you." 

His grip tightened. "Elaine—" 

"It is not your path to know." 

Fury flickered in his gaze. "Then why show me anything at all?" 

She wrenched free, turning away, her voice taut with something perilously close to sorrow. "Because you asked." 

--- 

The rumors reached him days later. 

A witch in the forest. Whispers of unnatural things, of shadows moving where none should be. The church was restless, the bishop himself voicing concerns of corruption in their ranks. 

Edric knew what they meant. He knew who they meant. 

The warning was clear—stay away, or risk being caught in the fire that would surely come. 

And yet. 

The night of the summer solstice, he found himself riding toward the mist once more. 

--- 

The celebration was like nothing he had ever seen. 

Deep in the heart of the forest, the old ways still lived. Figures danced around a great fire, their voices raised in a song older than any psalm. Fragments of a forgotten tongue wove through the air, stirring something in him that had long been buried. 

And then, amidst the flickering light, he saw her. 

Elaine stood at the edge of the firelight, clad in deep crimson, the color of embers before they fade. Her hair tumbled down her back in wild waves, her eyes gleaming like dark water beneath the moon. 

She saw him. And she did not look away. 

Neither did he. 

The space between them was vast and yet nothing at all. 

He moved first. 

She did not stop him. 

The firelight kissed their skin as he reached for her, fingers tangling in her hair, breath warm against her lips. There were no words, no vows, no confessions—only the weight of the moment, the breaking of restraint, the surrender to something neither could name but both had known from the moment their eyes first met. 

The mist curled around them as they fell together, binding them in a veil of what was and what could never be. 

--- 

She felt it before he did. 

As dawn broke, as the fire dimmed and the world returned to itself, the call came. 

It was subtle, a shift in the air, a whisper beneath her skin. The veil was thinning. The time was nearing. 

Elaine curled her fingers against Edric’s chest, listening to the steady rhythm beneath her ear. She did not wake him. She could not. 

He had given her one night. 

She would give him silence in return. 

The mist stirred beyond the trees, waiting. 

She closed her eyes. 

ACT 3: THE VANISHING MIST 

The Empty Dawn 

Edric woke to a silence that felt unnatural, as if the very earth held its breath. The warmth beside him was gone. The place where Elaine had lain was cold, the imprint of her body already fading. A weight pressed against his palm—a small, smooth object. When he lifted it to the weak morning light, he saw an amulet of woven silver and stone, ancient in craft, humming faintly with unseen power. 

His breath came sharp, his mind sluggish with disbelief. He called her name, once, twice, but the grove swallowed the sound. Rising unsteadily, he stumbled through the undergrowth, his boots trampling the wildflowers that had once seemed to bloom in her presence. 

She was nowhere. The mist clung to the trees, denser than before, its eerie stillness a veil he could not lift. He shouted until his voice grew hoarse, pleaded with the unseen forces that had taken her. 

Rage came first—wild, helpless fury. He cursed the gods, cursed fate, cursed himself for allowing his heart to weave into something he could not hold. Then came despair, deep and endless, like a knight kneeling before an empty altar. But as the sun rose and the mist began to thin, something steadier settled within him. He pressed the amulet to his chest, gripping it as though it were the only proof she had ever been real. 

If the old ways had stolen her, then perhaps they would return her. If she had been taken beyond his reach, then one day, he would find her again. 

The Weight of Judgment 

The world outside the forest was not kind to grief. 

Edric returned to his duties, but the lightness he had once carried—the certainty of his place—was gone. Whispers followed him like ghosts. The village murmured of strange lights in the woods, of a woman with eyes like the deep earth. They spoke of enchantments, of temptations, of wicked things that led righteous men astray. 

The church took notice. His absence had been noted, his distraction seen. The elders called him forth, their gazes heavy with suspicion. 

"Your soul wavers, Sir Edric," one of them said, his voice smooth as polished stone. "We see it in your eyes, in your silence. Have you walked too far into the shadows?" 

Edric did not answer. He did not trust his voice to hold steady. 

"You must atone," another commanded. "To be reclaimed in the sight of God, you will take the rites of purification. And you will renounce whatever spell lingers upon you." 

He could see the hunger in their eyes—not for truth, but for proof. Proof that their faith was unshaken, proof that they held dominion over the souls of men. 

But Elaine was gone, and with her, any certainty he had once possessed. He nodded, giving them the answer they sought, but in his heart, he swore a different vow. 

The Hunt Begins 

The rumors swelled beyond murmurs. Superstition turned to fear, and fear to action. 

A group was sent to scour the woods—a band of men with torches and sharpened blades, seeking the witch that had ensnared one of their own. They would find no one. Elaine had vanished beyond their reach, and yet Edric’s blood ran cold at the thought of their hands tearing through the sacred places where she had once stood. 

At night, he returned to the grove, desperate for any sign. He found nothing but the wind whispering through the trees, the scent of damp earth, the echo of a memory that would not fade. 

Until, one evening, he saw her. 

Beyond the Veil 

The mist was thick, unnatural, rolling in from the trees like a tide. Edric had been about to turn away when movement caught his eye—a figure, faint and shifting, at the edge of the haze. 

His breath caught. 

Elaine stood beyond the veil of mist, her form half-hidden, her golden hair catching light that did not belong to this world. She did not move closer. She only watched him, something unreadable in her expression. 

He stepped forward, his hand outstretched. "Elaine—" 

The mist curled between them, thickening, drawing her further away. A whisper rode the wind, too soft to grasp, and then—she was gone. 

He fell to his knees. 

The mist did not lift for hours. 

The Prophecy of the Child 

Edric did not know how long he wandered, only that when he finally stopped, he was no longer alone. An old woman sat upon a fallen log, her face a map of deep lines, her gaze knowing. 

"You seek what is beyond your grasp," she murmured, stirring the embers of a fire that had not been there moments before. 

"You know where she is." His voice was hoarse. 

"I know many things," she replied. "But what I know most is this—what is lost is not truly gone." 

She tossed something into the fire—a sprig of dried herb, perhaps, or something older. Smoke curled upward, shifting, forming the shape of a child standing at the threshold of mist and sun. 

"A child will walk between worlds, born of two paths, of two truths. When the time comes, they will mend what was broken." 

The vision flickered. The fire burned low. 

Edric swallowed hard, his mind spinning. "A child—?" 

But when he looked up, the woman was gone, the fire nothing but cold ash. 

The Parting Mist 

He stood at the edge of the forest, where the mist still lingered, where the world seemed thinner. The amulet lay heavy against his chest, warmed by his touch. 

Perhaps Elaine was truly lost to him. Perhaps she had stepped beyond where he could follow. 

But somewhere, beyond the veil of mist, there was a child. 

And one day, that child would return. 

As the wind stirred, carrying whispers of things yet to come, Edric took his first step back into the world. 

February 15, 2025 21:36

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19 comments

Louise McCall
21:47 Feb 23, 2025

I really loved the descriptions and your world-building! You have a talent for setting the scene. My only feedback would be to remove some descriptions from the dialogue, they serve a purpose well but feel slightly overdone. Which isn’t a bad thing, it’s just something that maybe you can play with to see if the quickening of the dialogue helps your narrative flow more naturally. I really enjoyed this piece, you’re clearly very skilled!

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Kin Asdi
21:34 Feb 23, 2025

A wonderful intriguing story, full of rich and descriptive sentences. I enjoyed reading the story and I loved the open end, yearning for more. You’re talented to create an incredible and believable world. Well done!

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Ty Thompson
20:12 Feb 23, 2025

The depth of description you go to for each character and the setting overall is impressive. You're incredibly talented at painting with your words. I thoroughly enjoyed the entire story and love the hanging ending that allows me to build what may happen in the future. I found myself disappointed that Edric acquiesced to the atonement requested of him, but that added realism to the story. As I think about this, I believe the reason I felt disappointed there was because I wanted more to show that the connection between Edric and Elaine was lo...

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Luc Coleman
19:48 Feb 23, 2025

This was an absolutely delightful read! I love all the imagery, especially the smells and the misty veil. I felt like I was right there with Elaine and Edric feeling their emotions and breathing the same aromas. The ending left me with more questions than answers, which I’m not usually a huge fan of, but I think here it fits the mysterious vibe of the story ❤️

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Laura Barclay
19:14 Feb 23, 2025

This was beautiful. I would read a full book of this story. I like open endings, but I'm usually someone who likes complete ones. You did amazing at the open ending and it leaves me curious to what would happen next! You created beautiful imagery and I could picture the story in my head. Also thanks for commenting on my story.

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Matthew Nordberg
19:07 Feb 23, 2025

Excellent work. I love the deep sense of magic and mystery in the setting, like the imagery of mist throughout the piece in its wordless objection to the "new" world of form and order. The dialog is appropriately dramatic without feeling staged, an impressive feat. The knight's sense of being torn between worlds is palpable, and relatable. One suggestion would be to add a little concreteness in the more active sequences, perhaps with details of Edric's movement and what he sees, especially when interacting with the world outside the grove....

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L.A. Rogers
18:47 Feb 23, 2025

This was a joy to read! The atmospheric details set the scene beautifully. Your attention to sensory detail is sublime. I loved your repeated use of certain phrases across the different parts of the work. For me, that tied everything together in a stylistic way and helped make the emotional beats consistent. The way that you portrayed love is wonderfully executed, and I appreciate the metaphor of it as well. Playing with and against fate, losing oneself, creating something from love- all great! I wish we could have had more from Elaine's per...

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Joanne Oliver
18:41 Feb 23, 2025

That is a beautiful engaging story. I was transported and transfixed at the same time. Loved it

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Summer Austin
18:32 Feb 23, 2025

Hm, fascinating. This story is heavy with romance and extremely beautiful. The only improvement I could think of is there may be a typo when there says she when it should be he, or vise versa near the beginning. I love this type of thing. Romantic. You go, girl!

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K.C. Terra
18:25 Feb 23, 2025

Wow. You really excel at worldbuilding through atmosphere, using sensory details that make the forest feel tangible—the damp earth, crushed herbs, and shimmering air are vivid enough to taste and breathe. The setting isn’t just a backdrop; it’s a character in itself, pulsing with ancient energy. This forbidden romance is so well written!

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Kashira Argento
17:49 Feb 23, 2025

The forbidden romance between Elaine, tied to the ancient pagan ways, and Edric, a Christian knight, is particularly compelling. You capture that sense of inevitable attraction despite all the forces keeping them apart. I especially appreciate how the mystical elements enhance rather than overshadow the romance. The misty forest setting, Elaine's visions, and the solstice celebration all create this ethereal atmosphere that makes their connection feel both magical and doomed. That scene where they finally come together during the solstice ce...

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Natalia Dimou
18:04 Feb 23, 2025

Thank you so much for your thoughtful feedback! I’m glad you enjoyed the complexity of Elaine and Edric’s relationship and how the mystical elements enhance their story. The solstice celebration was a pivotal moment for them, and I aimed to capture that bittersweet feeling. I appreciate your insights on their separation; I wanted it to feel both poignant and inevitable. The prophesied child adds a glimmer of hope amidst the sadness, and I’m thrilled that resonated with you. Your support means a lot!

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Ken Cartisano
17:30 Feb 23, 2025

Phenomenal story. Outstanding writing. Unbelievably terse dialogue. You have a knack for turning a common phrase into a stunning revelation. The best example of this is this: Visions did not come to her like dreams, soft and half-formed. They struck like lightning, searing through the veil of time. (Such concise phrasing for such an ethereal event.) This would take place in what would later become England, (I imagine) where Kings bowed to Bishops and Christianity spread like the plague. There is so much unspoken knowledge, information, ve...

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Natalia Dimou
18:06 Feb 23, 2025

Hey, thanks so much for the awesome feedback! I’m really glad you liked the writing and that lightning metaphor—it’s one of my favorites too. I wanted to capture that intensity, and it’s great to hear you felt the historical vibes and deeper meanings in the story. Your encouragement really means a lot to me. Thanks again for sharing your thoughts!

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Brutus Clement
17:11 Feb 23, 2025

I loved the themes of destiny, fate, magic in this story and the interplay between Christianity ( I assume ) and a more ancient religion. This is very reminiscent of the Arthurian tales of Mary Stewart of the "Mists of Avalon" of Bradley. All of which I enjoyed greatly. My only suggestion is to increase the believably of the dialogue by changing things like "I am lost" to " I'm lost" or changing "You should not be here" to "You shouldn't be here". However, I could be wrong on that if you intended to convey an older way of speaking? Anyway--...

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Natalia Dimou
18:11 Feb 23, 2025

Thanks so much for your thoughtful feedback! I’m really glad you enjoyed the themes of destiny and the blend of religions—it’s something I love exploring. I appreciate your suggestions about the dialogue; I aimed for a slightly older feel, but I see how making it more modern could enhance believability. Also, I want to mention that this is my first try writing in English—my native language is Greek. I studied in the UK and fell in love with Arthurian myths, so it means a lot to hear your thoughts. Thank you again for sharing, and I’m so happ...

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Brutus Clement
19:41 Feb 23, 2025

Wow, for your first try writing in a non-native language, the story was very good. We share a love for the Arthurian myths---I remember my farther reading them to me as bedtime stories when I was a boy---later I read everything I could on "historical" Arthur and the books by Stewart and Bradley mentioned above. It was a fascinating period where early Christianity and the Celtic faith were intertwined. When you studied in the UK I imagine you visited Stonehenge and the areas of Cornwall, Bristol, or eastern Wales where many of these myths or...

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Elizabeth Rich
14:51 Feb 23, 2025

OK. You're killing me here. I have to know what happens next. Ordinarily, I'm not a fan of this type of literature with the element of fantasy and formality of language, but I loved the imagery and the wonder and have been intrigued by the replacement of paganism with Christianity in history--all that to say, I get it, and I was going places with you. I was cooking last night with a lot of herbs, and my kitchen smelled like heaven, and I loved the sensory language and relevance. This really was a lovely piece, and I felt the joy and pain o...

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Natalia Dimou
18:14 Feb 23, 2025

Thanks so much for your amazing feedback! I’m thrilled to hear you loved the story, especially since fantasy isn’t usually your thing. It’s great that the imagery and themes resonated with you. Cooking with herbs sounds wonderful, and I’m glad the sensory language connected with that experience! I really appreciate your insights about the joy and pain of love—I tried to capture that balance. Thanks again for sharing your thoughts, and I can’t wait to explore more with you!

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