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Elizabeth Rich

Author on Reedsy Prompts since Nov, 2024

Stories (38)

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24 Followers

21 Following

38 Stories

839 karma pts

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The Plant Killer

Submitted to Contest #307

[Author's Note: This story features a murder of a human and at least one plant and serial cheating by a huge dickhead.] This week had served as a turd in the punch bowl that was my life. Two weeks ago, my boss had gone on vacation. She left me in charge of the plants in the office. God knows why. I'm a ruthless plant killer. Everyone knows I cannot be trusted with any organism that performs photosynthesis; however, this idiot of a woman left me to tend a virtual garden in her office. For the record, horticulturist was not in my job descripti...

2 likes

Wrong Number

Submitted to Contest #306

Unknown: Hey.Gabi: Hey back. Who is this?Unknown: I'm Angi.Gabi: Angi who?Picture accompanies the following message. The picture is of a 20-something young woman with long, shiny hair. She is wearing a tight tank top, and there's a filter on the photo that softens the slightly hard look in Angi's eyes.Unknown: Who is this?Gabi: Gabriella.Angi: Oh. I thought I was texting Charlie.Gabi: Guess not. You have me. Sorry. Who's Charlie?Angi: Charlie? He's no one. Well, he's someone. He used to be someone special, but now…now he's someone I avoid. I...

8 likes

The Venue, the Crowd, the Comedienne, and the Show

Submitted to Contest #305

I tapped the microphone. The tap was followed by the ear-splitting buzz of feedback. One glance at the audience told me the reverb of the feedback did not take them back to the days of their first concerts. Mine was Hall & Oates, the Big Bam Boom tour. The concert tees were insanely righteous, and it pained me to no end when I discovered that my niece had found it, cut it off and made it into some kind of babydoll belly shirt. She wrapped a rubber band around the excess material in the back to make it fit her so tightly, I was afraid her...

11 likes

THOSE People

Submitted to Contest #304

Those idiots. They had no idea how silly they looked. As if anyone in their right minds would wander into this swingers' bar known for being the only karaoke joint in town and say, "Hey, that woman on stage…yeah, the one who keeps putting her tongue down those three guys' throats…she's got some real talent. Call Jerry. We need to get her a recording contract." No. That would never happen. This woman had a better chance of joining the next moon landing team, which is to say the odds were indeed quite small, as small as her singing talent, tha...

6 likes

The Sweetheart

Submitted to Contest #303

It was a winding, meandering path. A slippery slope. Go or no go. It was the on switch. It was a runaway train. But it was also a faucet I could have turned off at any time, and I didn't. I didn't want to. I dithered in cliche after cliche, but when it was all said and done, I was not taking the high road.We had been sweethearts. I gave him mine, and he gave me his. He also gave his heart to Donna, and apparently, he also gave her his penis because now she was giving him a baby. His mother was one of the lunch ladies when we were in high sch...

5 likes

News from The Standard Hotel

Submitted to Contest #302

Rich Clark had finally scored an invitation to the big meeting with the heavy hitters. He had been working hard to earn a seat at the table for the past year, and finally his work had paid off. If all went well, he would receive a big pay bump, which he and his wife sorely needed. They were expecting their first child, a boy, whose name would be Wyatt or Will. They liked both and decided they'd wait until he was born to see which name suited him best. Rich's wife's due date was in two weeks, but the doctor had said she could go any time. She...

4 likes

The Alfred Hitchcock Party

Submitted to Contest #301

"Knock, knock," Aubrey sang."Who's there?" I sang back."It's just me, your shadow, your best friend, the Mutt to your Jeff.""The Laurel to my Hardy? The Jan to my Marsha? The Wilma to my Betty?" "Ugh. Yes. You know who it is. Open the door."She entered my apartment, the door closing with a thud behind her. "You ready for tonight's adventure?" she asked. Her eyes were bright, lively, full of mischief."I am." We were both dressed in black. Her hair was back in a ponytail. Mine was in a bun. I didn't want to take any chances of leaving any evid...

10 likes

The Lost Mind

Submitted to Contest #301

1 My oldest daughter was in first or second grade when it happened. My dad died. He was 76, born in 1897, married later in life. He was nine years older than my mom. He was the company doctor at a factory, and when another doctor in the city retired, he sold his practice to my dad. My mom had been a grade school teacher. There were four of us kids, and, eventually, there would be thirteen grandchildren.We grew up in a factory town, where the biggest employers were the hospitals and the factory. I was an out of control child and a terrible te...

5 likes

Sharing Sharon's Eulogy by Zowie-Wowie

Submitted to Contest #300

My mom was a bad speller. Notoriously bad. She named me Zowie. It's supposed to rhyme with Bowie, as in David Bowie, but most people got it wrong. I feared the first day of school growing up. Invariably, a teacher would call my name rhyming it with Howie, as in Howie Mandel. I never bothered to correct the teacher. I always wanted to see how long she would go on pronouncing my name wrong. In third grade, my teacher went all the way to the middle of the term before the art teacher corrected her. Deciding I didn't want to be Zowie/Howie, I wen...

16 likes

Requiem for Birthday Dreams

Submitted to Contest #299

Today is my birthday. I am 44 years old. I am 64 inches tall, and I weigh 186 pounds. I am average height for a woman, and I am very overweight. And I don’t care. I decided I would take a page out of Zelda Fitzgerald’s book and turn my life around starting today. The choice is between these two new things: becoming a ballerina or a ninja. I have outfits for both and have trained for neither.Today I took the day off work from my retail job where I help small children stuff teddy bears with fluff and throw in a red plastic heart. Every now and...

15 likes

So There Was This Clown in a Coffee Shop

Submitted to Contest #298

Note: References to sex I sat in the stuffy car, watching and waiting, drinking room temperature La Croix. My fingers drummed randomly on the steering wheel and shortly came away with remnants of the bean burrito I had been eating moments before. It was gross, but I licked my fingers anyway. Refried beans were only good while they were warm. As soon as they cooled, they took on the consistency of ear wax, which triggered my gag reflex—which was also why I didn’t eat hummus. Hummus actually did look like ear wax. Another car pulled up next to...

13 likes

An Excellent Day for Chinese Takeout

Submitted to Contest #298

She loved the crackling noise of the cellophane. She found the seam and carefully, she tore open the small bag holding her fortune cookie. The cookie was fresh, and it looked like it had spent almost a few seconds too long in the fortune cookie machine before being removed and shaped around the tiny piece of paper holding her fortune. She didn't put much credence in the fortunes, but they were fun to consider. Most of the time, the fortunes didn't foretell anything but offered suggestions. She liked to add 'in bed' or 'between the sheets' at...

9 likes

Pre-Dawn Flights of Fancy

Submitted to Contest #297

As I grew older, my sleep became more fragmented. My cousin once told me this was totally and entirely normal."When we were cave people, there was first sleep, which lasted 3-5 hours. After first sleep, we would take a turn watching the cave. Then later, there was second sleep--when someone else watched over the cave and its resting inhabitants." It was a plausible theory, and I believed my cousin--he was a history teacher. Of course, it could have also been one of those fallacious arguments along the lines of: It's on the internet; therefor...

14 likes

Toddlers Trading

Submitted to Contest #296

My yia yia told me I had to stop sucking my thumb. "It'll cause you to have bucked teeth. Trust me, kukla, dental work is not cheap. Save your mommy and daddy the expense."But you know what? There were other kids my age who were still sucking their thumbs. I didn't see how they looked like they had bucked teeth like a horse. The path of least resistance was to quit sucking my thumb, but I was really stumped about how to replace the thumb-sucking. Since I was already sticking fingers in my mouth, it would be a seamless transition to switch t...

6 likes

It Was Only an Appetizer

Submitted to Contest #296

We wandered with purpose. However, the purpose wasn't always noble, and it wasn't always physical wandering. My feet wandered. My mind wandered. But, they wandered with purpose. This evening, we wandered in the car. We went with friends to meet up with other friends for dinner. Three of the six of us for dinner were old friends with a zillion mutual connections. The remaining three of us would smile and give up on trying to be heard over the television and patron buzz of the restaurant.And then Old Jiminy was in my ear, "You won't be heard, ...

9 likes