Coming Out

‘Mum, are you telling me you’re a lesbian?’

 Cullum’s question sounded more like an accusation. His sister, Penelope, sitting next to him on the living room couch, looked equally surprised, but with a guise of delight.

 Jenna, sitting opposite her children, brought her legs up close to her chest as her face flushed. That morning’s practice sessions in front of the mirror had not prepared for the stunned silence following the announcement.

 Penelope broke the silence, ‘WOW! My gaydar missed that one. You’re not just my mother, you’re my sister too.’

 Penelope came out when she was fifteen. At nineteen she was enjoying her second year at university. Jenna’s biggest concern was Cullum. He was sixteen and still lived at home.

 With a pained expression on his face, Cullum slumped back into the couch. ‘Jesus, not just my sister but my mother too.’

 ‘I thought you were OK with my gayness,’ said Penelope. ‘I know you bragged to your friends that they can’t shag your sister as she’s gay.’

 ‘I am, but Mum as well. Jesus, does Dad know?’

 Jenna had composed herself during her children’s exchange. ‘The point is, Cullum, nothing changes between us. You are my son and I love you and always will. I hope you will continue to love me.’ These words came out as practiced.

 ‘Does Dad know?’ Cullum repeated.

 Jenna hesitated, ‘Yes, he found out yesterday, and he has left to stay with Bill for a while.’

 He had come back home from work to collect a forgotten file and witnessed a plump woman and Jenna in the spasms of simultaneous orgasms on the kitchen floor.

 Jenna had made it a rule to avoid bringing her home. It was a quick diversion to collect a book her lover wanted to read. She was angry with her lover for initiating the lovemaking, and with herself for her surrender to her lover’s advances in the family home.

 Cullum rubbed the back of his neck, ‘So you have separated?’

 Jenna searched for an answer. Her husband had speechlessly left the house. He returned an hour later asking only if her lover had left before packing a suitcase. Jenna tried to talk about it, but he ignored her, only telling her he would be at Bill's house.

 ‘Probably,’ said Jenna.

 There was another awkward silence that seemed to last a lifetime before Cullum moved on to the practicalities. ‘So, who’s staying in this house and who’s leaving?’

 ‘It’s too soon to know. ‘Whatever the arrangement you will be our priority. We do not want this to disrupt your life. You’re still our son. We love you Cullum.’

 Cullum covered his face with his hands while rubbing his forehead. He picked up his mobile from the side table and punched in a text.

 ‘Who are you texting?’ Penelope asked.

 ‘Dad, he must be seriously bummed.’

 ‘Good,’ Jenna said, ‘He’s going to need our support.’

 Penelope turned to face Cullum, placing her hands on his forearm. ‘You need to be OK with this. We both know Mum and Dad have been good parents. We also know they have not been…how should I say…adoring of each other. It always seemed like an arrangement rather than a…love affair. Mum has come out now. It’s her chance to embrace life. I know she will be happier for it. In the long term so will Dad.’

 Jenna cringed on hearing it was obvious to Penelope her relationship with her husband lacked the intensity of true love. Twenty years ago, she did not know anyone who came out, and it was not an option for her. She had enjoyed her husband’s affections and his sense of humor. Friends and family approved.

 He liked to be dominant in bed. This suited her as it spared her of dreaming up ways to satisfy him. During these short interludes there was the occasional orgasm amongst the fakes, but not for a long time now. They were not the prolonged sensual acts building up to the all-consuming and euphoric orgasms she had enjoyed in the last three months.

 Jenna’s reflections were interrupted by a ping from Cullum’s mobile.

 ‘It’s Dad,’ said Cullum reading the text, ‘He says he’s numb but OK. He wants a few days to reflect, and we can get together next week.

 ‘That’s probably best,’ said Penelope.

 ‘Well, I have some reflection to do of my own. I was planning to stay over at Gary’s after football practice if that’s OK.’ He collected his kitbag from his bedroom and, with a wave, left.

 ‘It will take time, but he will pull through, and so will Dad,’ said Jenna. Now, come and sit on the couch with me and I am going to crack that bottle of wine I saw in the fridge.’

 Three bottles of wine later they had talked for four hours. They shared secrets and desires. Penelope became an advisor, sharing tips on life in the world of lesbians Jenna's anxiety dissipated as they laughed and giggled, and she was filled with excitement and enthusiasm for the future. Penelope had become her sister. In those four hours a rejuvenated bond was created.

***

 Jenna, sat on her lounge chair, caressing a cup of coffee to ease the hangover caused by the previous days wine consumption. She was planning to visit her parents and break the news but wanted to be home when Cullum returned.

 ‘Morning,’ said Cullum as he entered.

 Jenna stood with her arms open, hoping for a hug. Cullum’s warm embrace surprised her.

 ‘How are you this morning?’ asked Jenna.

 ‘I didn’t get any sleep.’

 ‘I’m so sorry Cullum.’

Cullum stood back from her embrace. ‘Do you remember Penelope before she came out?’

 Jenna looked into his eyes, ‘What do you mean?’

 ‘Well, she was quite dark…reclusive. After she came out, she was…much more fun. Is that what’s happening to you?’

 ‘I think so. It’s all new to me as well. I do think when I know my children are OK with this so will I be. There’s nothing worth losing my children for.’

 Cullum offered an understanding nod.  ‘OK…I’m off to get some sleep now. What’s for dinner?’

 ‘Your favorite, steak and chips, after I've visited your grandparents to tell them the news.’

 ‘Great, and good luck with that,’ said Cullum, disappearing into his bedroom.

 Jenna smiled as she collected her keys and walked to her car. She had dreaded the conversation she was about to have. Her father would be crushed.

 She realized if her children could adjust then so should he. She would announce her joy in her new identity that would benefit all those close to her, even if it took some time for them to realize it. She put her foot on the accelerator to start the journey.