Not Exactly the Way I Pictured It in My Mind

Eve nervously gnawed on a breadstick as Will slammed back wine, refilling it from the bottle on ice he had insisted the waiter leave at the table, the first of two he had pre-ordered for the table. This was NOT going to be a fun night for him and he already knew it.

Thirteen year old fraternal twins, Bo and Ann, looked at their parents then at each other. They had wanted to join their Mom and Dad on this outing about as much as when they had forced them to see a three hour opera the year before.

“Twenty-three years!” Eve said, violently chewing.

Will absently poured more wine into his glass until it reached its customary half filled status.

“After twenty-three LONG years!” She tore another bite of bread off the beleaguered breadstick.

Will topped off his glass, then took a swig from the bottle before putting it back in the bucket of ice.

Bo checked his phone, then showed it to Ann.

“Isn't Grandpa running late, Mom?” Bo asked.

“Don't you dare call him that! Don't you ever call him that! He's no more Grandfather material now than he was father material twenty-three years ago!” Eve snapped.

“Yeah, well, when he gets here, what do you want us to call him?” Bo queried.

“Yes, Mom, 'Hey, you' seems a bit inappropriate.” Ann offered.

“How 'bout 'Hey, DICK'?!” Eve bellowed.

Bo and Ann exchanged a look.

“Only if his name is Richard.” Bo said trying to lighten the mood.

“Bo... I will slap you in public, because unlike MY father I actually care about what kind of human being you become!”

“And what kind would that be, Mom?” Ann asked in a challenging tone.

“Evidently a bruised one.” Bo said to Ann under his breath.

“You two will not disrespect me at this table! You will NOT disrespect me at this table!”

“Mom, we don't mean to be disrespectful, but why did you even agree to meet with him?” Ann began.

“Yeah, especially if you were going to have a meltdown before the appetizer platter.” Bo finished.

“I am NOT having a meltdown! Will, say something!”

“Can we get some more wine over here?!” Will said calling after a waiter he knew wasn't his, but he didn't care.

“Will, your children are being quite flippant!”

“Why are they always mine when you're ticked off, and yours when they win an award or something?”

“Never mind that now. Tell them something about their flippant behavior.”

“Uuuuuh... Kids... Like my Dad always said 'If you want to be flip, get out a coin'”

“Wouldn't that be flipped” Bo said, as Ann snickered.

“See?! See what you've raised?!”

“Well, I didn't raise them alone, Honey!”

“No! My Mother had to raise ME alone, cuz the asshole that we're all waiting for took off when I was younger than these two! And where the hell are the appetizers?”

Will poured the last trickle of wine from the bottle, barely getting his glass to quarter filled.

“Where the hell's my second bottle. I pre-ordered it.”

“Is that all you can do? Get drunk?”

“Well, with you agreeing to see your father for the first time in, say it with me kids...”

The trio broke out into a loud, unison chorus of: “Twenty-three years!”

“And you insisted on dragging us along, I sure as hell didn't want to see whatever's gonna happen here tonight stone, cold sober.”

“Yeah, we'd be joining him, if we were older.” Bo said.

“Or this was Europe.” Ann added.

“My God, Will, listen to them. When did they get those mouths on them?”

“Well, I warned you when they became teenagers last year, you're gonna have to start fielding some teenage attitude. Remember how they acted at the opera last season?”

Both Bo and Ann let out an audible groan at the mention of the opera.

“DON'T mention the opera to us.” Ann snarked.

“Yeah, three hours of that crap! Madame Butterfly, my ass!” Bo started.

“More like Chinese Music Torture.” Ann finished.

“Well, excuuuuuuse your father and I for trying to bring a bit of culture into your lives.” Eve said with a menacing glare.

“Point of order. Their father was not exactly enthralled with being there either. He wanted to go to the Marlins game.”

“Oh, Will, you and your football!”

The kids and Will all looked at each other incredulously, as by a happy stroke of good fortune the waiter chose that moment to plop down a sampler tray at their table.

“Sorry, for the delay,” said the waiter, cheerily. “We were all out of mozzarella sticks, so I gave you extra fried mushrooms and chicken tenders.”

“Thank God, this awkward conversation is saved by potato skins.” Bo interjected.

As the waiter tried to get away, Will grabbed his forearm, as he inverted the empty wine bottle.

“Are you out of wine too?”

The waiter did a quick scan of the somber, angry mood of the table.

“Right away, sir.” he said as he pulled away from Will and galloped off.

Eve turned away. She tried to hide a single tear that flowed from one eye.

“Do you want to just leave? He's never going to show up.” Eve said to Will.

“LEAVE?! We just got food!” Bo spurted out, along with bits of the potato skin, from his mouth.

“We can take it to go.” Ann said as she daintily cut her fried mushroom with a knife and fork.

“Don't leave on my account.” said the voice of an older man.

Everyone at the table froze and looked in the direction of the voice.

Wesley, his silver hair matching his silver beard, walked up to the table.

“I told you I'd come, Evie. There was a bit of unexpected traffic.” Wesley said as he moved directly behind Eve's chair.

“Unexpected? Like what Mom and I felt when you ran out on us when I was eleven?!” Eve said, a passive aggressive tone in her voice.

The waiter came back to the table with a new bottle of wine. He had just popped the cork and was sniffing it as Will grabbed it from him and took a huge swig.

“Well, introductions all around should be in order,” Will said as he stood up. “I know you're Wesley. I'm Will, Eve's husband. These are our twins, Bo and Ann.”

“Please to meet you, Gran...” Bo stopped short as his mother's evil eye froze him in mid-word. “Uh... Sir.” Bo finished.

“Hey, kids, let's go look at the Koi,” Will said, motioning with his head.

“This restaurant doesn't have Koi!” Bo said in an admonishing tone.

“Yeah, Dad, just that huge fountain over there, but no Koi,” Ann added.

“Then let's go BUY them some,” said Will thru threateningly gritted teeth. “Just get your butts up!.”

Bo grudgingly got up, grabbing a potato skin and a chicken tender as he went.

“I like Koi,” Ann said, getting the not so subtle message from her father, as she got up from the table.

As the trio hastily departed, Wesley grabbed a chair from a nearby table and sat very close to Eve, who so far, had not looked up at him.

“Look, Evie, I...” Wesley started but fell short then uncomfortably grabbed a fried zucchini stick (yes, it was a BIG sample platter).

Eve glared at him as he moved to put the zucchini stick in his mouth, and he slowly put it back down on the platter.

“So, why after twenty-three, almost twenty-four years, did I all of a sudden get a call from you?”

“You know, I've... I've pictured this in my mind over and over again over these twenty-three, almost twenty-four years... What I'd say... What you'd say... I never quite pictured you this hostile.”

“Sorry I'm not living up to your expectations, Daddy. Where the HELL have you been for twenty-three years!”

“Well, for the first twenty, prison. For the last three trying to get up enough courage to make that phone call to you.”

“Prison?! For what?”

“Drugs. One of the reasons I left you guys was I was doing drugs pretty bad back then. Figured the two of you would be better off without me the way I was then, Well, doing turned to dealing. Dealing turned to distributing. And when the bust came, it came hard.”

“Mom said you were out of the country.”

“Your Mom... God love her. That woman never said a bad word about me till the day she died. I was still in the joint when she passed. Otherwise we would've been having this little conversation at her funeral. Cuz nothing would've kept me from paying my respects to that good woman.”

“Well, we can agree about that. She was a fine woman.”

“She did a good job raising you on her own.”

“Yes, ALL on her own.”

“Christ, Evie, I didn't want you knowing I was in prison. I didn't want twelve year old you... Or thirteen year old you... Jr. High School you... Prom Queen you... Having to come visit me in prison.”

“At least I would've gotten to see you.”

“Look, your mother and I made the choice...”

“Did Mom come up there to see you?”

“Yes, a few times. Mostly to get all the divorce stuff signed. I made her promise not to come back after the last of the papers, even as the friend she always was to me. Because every time, it broke my heart to see a lady like your mother have to come to that stink hole! I wasn't about to have my daughter feel obligated to have to come down there too.”

“But it was MY obligation, and it should've been my CHOICE!”

A long silence came over the duo, like a storm cloud, before Wesley finally broke its deafening nothingness.

“I got your mother to agree, but honest to God, I did it because I loved you.”

“And by doing that you made me think you didn't.”

“Look, I knew you'd never exactly be proud of a father who deserted you... But, I never wanted you to be ashamed of having me as a father. When you're staring at someone behind those prison bars... There's very little to NOT be ashamed of.”

“I could never be ashamed of you, Dad. Don't you get it? You were the joy of my childhood. You could always make me laugh.”

“Yes, because I was usually half drunk or partially high! And the stumbling clown is quite funny to a little girl. But how quickly will that object of amusement turn to one of pity, when the little girl starts to grow up? What would you think when you realized what I really was?”

Eve turned away a moment, lost in thought, then turned back to her father.

“And should I be proud of you now, because you called me? Why did it take you three years since you got released from prison to contact me?”

“I didn't know if I should. Because then I'd have to admit where I had been all those years, and I wasn't sure I wanted to do that. Even tonight... I almost lost my nerve. That's why I was late. I was stuck in the bathroom at the bar across the street... Throwing up, till I couldn't throw up anymore! That's why... I would've kinda liked an appetizer.”

For the first time, she smiled at him. She remembered again how he always made her laugh, and he hadn't lost his magic touch.

“Oh, for the love of God eat something, Dad! It's getting cold anyway.”

Wesley popped a mushroom, as he turned to see Will and the kids, straining to hear what was going on between the two from the other side the aforementioned fountain (without Koi) set up in the center of the restaurant.

“You wanna call your family back, cuz if they lean in anymore they're gonna fall over.”

Eve laughed out loud as she turned to see exactly what Wesley was talking about. She motioned for the trio to come back over.

“You know, this does not mean everything is fine, or that I forgive you. It just means...”

“Let's eat!” Bo exclaimed as he jumped back in his seat and grabbed an onion ring (lots of choices on this sampler platter).

“That.” Eve said, indicating what Bo had just said.

And as ice breaking chit-chat turned into sobering discussions about drugs, and prison life, and Wesley breaking his addiction to both drugs and alcohol (no, Wesley did not partake in the wine). Wesley got caught up with the son-in-law and grandchildren he never knew. After Will had switched from wine to black coffee, and Eve had let her twins start calling Wesley: Grandpa. One topic finally came up.

“But what exactly was the reason?” Ann asked, proving once again to be the level headed twin. “What made you brave enough to reach out, when you couldn't before?”

“I believe the word you're searching for, my dear, is catalyst.”

“That's not the word I'd be searching for,” Bo chimed in. “Cuz I have no idea what that means.”

“Well, at least you have one bright one.” Wesley said grinning at Eve. Eve gave him a swat in response.

“Grandpa...? The... Catalyst?” Ann said.

“I'm afraid that was your Grandmother's doing.”

“But Grandma's been dead for years.” Bo said, then he looked around at the others. “Yes, I may not be a genius, but that fact did not escape me.”

“Last week was her birthday, and you guys were there at the gravesite when I came walking up to pay my respects... And I saw you, ALL of you, even though I made sure you didn't see me. Evie I knew you had gotten married. Had kids. But that day... That day... It became very, very... Real to me. And I couldn't NOT do this anymore. Like always, your Mom was watching out for me, and maybe for you too.”

More talking and eating ensued. Smiles were evoked. Tears were shed. Moments of pain and pride came and went, like raindrops against a bay window.

Later, as they all got up from the table to leave, Eve took her father aside and asked one last question.

“Dad...? When you saw this evening over and over in your mind...? Did this live up to your expectations?”

“No.”

“Wasn't it as good as you'd hoped?”

“No... It was better.”

He kissed her on the forehead, as she remembered him doing so often before he'd tuck her into bed at night when she was little. That was when all of Eve's anger and resentment gave way to forgiveness and understanding, as it always should.

This was her father. Not a perfect man. Not a man who always made the right choices, But in the end, she was very happy to have him back in her life.