Laughter In The Office

Lance walked past the receptionist heading for his office and stopped. He turned to Janice, the receptionist. Sure enough, her attempt to hold back her laughter was a dismal failure. Was it because it was April Fools' Day?

When Janice noticed that Lance hadn't proceeded through the door and turned to face him, she took one look at the expression on his face and lost it completely. She sounded as though she hadn't had a good laugh in at least a year and meant to enjoy the hell out of this one.

Lance shook his head and went through the interior door. There were brightly colored streamers all over the ceiling and silly string on every wall. It was probably supposed to look cheerful – to Lance it looked like a mess. The personnel – secretaries, lawyers, execs, everybody – stood around in various stages of laughter, from the merest giggling to sheer hysteria. The decorations weren't enough to provoke this kind of hilarity, were they?

He walked into the kitchen for his usual cup of coffee. This room was equally messy, although all the decorations here were in black and white. Lance could barely find the coffee maker behind the streamers, but there it was, in its usual place. He poured a cup and raised it to his mouth...

And stopped. Did someone put some foul-tasting thing in the coffee for the day? He took a nervous taste. Nope, tasted like coffee. Thank goodness. He took a swallow.

With all this mess and the workers in such a state, would the firm get anything done today? Lance mentally crossed his fingers and headed to his office, sipping coffee all the way.

He made it halfway there, dodging hysterical colleagues as he went. It was a heck of a sound, laughter bubbling all through the halls. It made him feel pretty hilarious himself.

By the time he reached his office door he was laughing too hard to say “good morning” to Jane, his secretary. But she was laughing too hard to hear him if he had.

He walked, laughing into his office, sat down, and looked over his calendar. Busy day. Four letters to write, one of them at least three pages. Filings to prepare on two court cases. A package of documents from opposing counsel expected in a third case. Still chuckling, he looked at the clock; morning meeting in ten minutes. He coughed, swallowed – the laughter wouldn't stop. He tucked his briefcase under his arm and headed off to the conference room.

About five people sat around the table with coffee and bagels with cream cheese. Everybody laughed, some of them spitting coffee and chewed-up bread on the table. The laughter got Lance even more hysterical – he got coffee and a bagel, but he couldn't eat or drink. The group got no business done, but everyone seemed too overwhelmed with laughter to care. Lance took his breakfast back to his office. He succeeded in getting there with no spills. That impressed him.

Back at his desk, Lance turned on his computer and opened his calendar on the screen. There was an interview with a new paralegal in an hour and a half; the rest of his day was supposed to be devoted to research on a legal point for a hearing the next week. Something about that topic struck him as unbelievably funny. His laughter nearly choked him until it was time for the interview, and in the whole 90 minutes he wasn't able to crack a book.

What the hell is with me? He thought, somewhere under the hysteria. There's not a damn thing funny about this case. I have got to get it together.

But he didn't stop laughing until the interview hour rolled around, or at that time, either. Chuckling, he walked out of his office and headed for the reception desk. Jane still laughed, and the sound set him off again. She wasn't doing any work, and that nearly stopped him in his tracks, but then again he wasn't doing any work either. Judging from the sounds of laughter coming out of every office in the place, neither was anyone else.

The paralegal applicant sat in the reception area, staring with her brows knit at Janice laughing as quietly as she could. Lance walked over, held out his hand, and said “You're the applicant for the paralegal position? My name is -” he snorted, swallowed, tried to stifle himself “-I'm Lance Thomas-” laughter nearly choked him.

The applicant stood up, even more confused than before. “I'm Milly Farmer. What's funny?”

“I honestly don't know, Miss Farmer, the whole office is like this today. Please come with me.”

Janice waved at them as they passed into the office, practically hysterical.

Lance led Miss Farmer to a small conference room. Three attorneys met them there. Art the new associate held his hand in front of his mouth, junior partner Steve's throat jumped as he tried to be still, and senior partner Amy had a red face as she tried to hold her breath. None of it seemed to work.

They sat down over a cold lunch and interviewed Milly Farmer. They all had copies of her impressive resume and copies of the interview questions, but after fifteen minutes they hadn't proceeded to question two yet. Their laughter continued to interrupt them.

Finally, Miss Farmer, beginning to laugh herself, stood up with flashing red eyes and barked “Look, I don't know what you think you're doing, but I'm a professional and I expect to be treated professionally, even during an interview!” Still chuckling, but with thunderclouds in her eyes, she gathered up her purse and stormed out.

Lance looked at the others, who were looking at him. This was terrible. Anything could happen after an incident like this.

Lance opened his mouth, ready to open the conversation about their next steps. The laughter bubbled up his throat and burst out of his mouth just as everyone else's laughter roared through the room and washed out into the hallway, where a few dozen personnel responded with another roar.

Two weeks later, on or about April 14, someone found an empty tank of laughing gas in a utility closet, with pipes connecting it to the ventilation system. A note attached to the tank read “April fools!”

The judge who heard the civil suit of Milly Farmer against the firm was sympathetic, but found for Miss Farmer anyway and awarded her a quarter of the firm's value to compensate for her humiliation. Among those let go to generate the necessary funds was Lance. He's still looking for another job.