A Weird Car

     We leave home, my master and me, but I don’t know where we’re going.  I never know, but I’m glad I’m going.  I’ve been begging to go.  I tried sneaking into the suitcase, but he found me, but I’m going.  That’s the important part is I’m going.  

     He zips up his suitcase and takes it out to the car.  Then he comes in and puts me in the passenger seat, turns the car on, and cracks the windows open.  I smell out the crack, but I can’t fit my head out.   Where does he go when he packs up?   Am I going too?   I hope I’m not going to the kennel again.  There, they’ll put me in a cage with a hard floor, no pillow, not even a night light and it’s scary.  But, it doesn’t smell like the route we take to the kennel (evergreens), it smells like palms trees, so I don’t know where we’re going.  

*

     But we get there.  My master stops the car at a big long stick (It’s so big, I couldn’t fetch it), opens the window, and a woman hands my master a small piece of paper.   Daddy puts the paper in the place where he puts sunglasses between the seats; CDs are in there too.  Then, he parks, shuts off the engine, picks me up, and we go outside, and he shuts the door and I hear two beeps.  He says the door’s locked.  Hmm.  

      This must be where he goes when he leaves me in the kennel.  A parking lot?  Why would he want to go to a parking lot and why wouldn’t he want me there?   Then, he opens up the trunk, takes out the luggage, the cage, and closes the trunk.   Then, he keeps saying G245.  My parking spot is G245.  

     Then, we go into a building with thousands of people carrying luggage.  We go to some benches and my master puts me in the cage.   I didn’t do anything wrong.   Why?  Why put me in a cage?   I try getting out of his grip, growling, biting, but he gets me in anyway.  Dang it!!

    Then, we go through another line and I see people walking to a counter, giving a person their ticket, and giving the person their luggage.  Wait.  Maybe that’s why I’m in the cage, so I can go through the conveyor belt.  The kind they have at the supermarket, but bigger.  He’s buying me?   Or maybe he’s trying to return me?   I hope not.  I’ve been a good dog.  

     We get through something called security.   Long line of people walking and going through a white frame.   Then, my master orders food at Burger King and I whimper for it, but he tells me to shut up.   I’m not getting any burger.  Then, I hear a voice over a speaker:   Now pre-boarding the plane.   Also, any active military can now come on board.   Certain people go through a door.   Their ticket is scanned, then they get on the whatever this thing is we’re getting on.   When the voice says tickets with the number three on it, we enter this car.   Or I think it’s a car.  It’s an airplane, but maybe that’s the brand name or something.  

*

         I’m still in a cage.   I don’t want to be in a cage.   Why am I in a cage?    Why am I under my master’s seat?   There are two people sitting next to my master, but they don’t own a dog.   Wonder why?  But, I’m laying here (there’s no room to stand), and then we start moving, like a car moves.  Maybe this is a cat.  My master gets up and puts something in something called an overhead bin.    I don’t want to go in there.  Better to be down here.  But then, this weird car (I think it’s a car) stops.   Then, I hear a man’s voice.   He says a lot of weird stuff.   Something about masks, oxygen, belts, children, exits.   I don’t know what it’s about, but want to get out of this cage, so I start whimpering, so my master’ll let me out.   He looks down and says, “Shut up, Baby”.  

       Then, the voice says for the stewardesses to sit like my master tells me to sit.  Then, the car starts accelerating and something crazy starts happening; my ears hurt.  It feels like my daddy is using drills in my ears and the car speeds up.   Then, the front of this car falls up.  That’s the best I can describe it.   The back stays down, but the front goes up.  Then, a minute later, the back of the car falls up, too.  I scream for my master.  I want his love and his protection.  He tells me to shut up again.  It feels like reverse gravity is pushing me to the floor of this cage.  Then, we start just moving forward.  

       Then, I hear something like we’ve reached Al Tea Tude.   Everyone can now use the facilities.  What’s that?   Can it get me out of this weird car?   My master gets up and I want him to be with me, hold me, pet me, comfort me.   But, I can’t see him and the engine in this up car is loud.   Then, the voice says refreshments will be served and says he could buy headphones.   Would headphones stop my ear pain?   I hear my master sit down, buckle up, put down a tray, and eat and drink something.   Wonder if he’ll give me any?   I’m hungry.   They might need to pull over so I can go potty outside, but I can wait until the next rest stop.  Wonder when that’ll be.  I can’t even  put my head out the window because I’m still in this cage.  

      Then, the voice comes on and says we’re about to hit some turbulence.  What’s that?   My cage moves toward the front of the car.  My master pushes it back.   I whine again.  Then, my cage goes back, left, right, diagonal.   I don’t like turbulence.   Then, it stops.  We’re on cruise control again.   Good.  

*

      Then, everything is smooth.  But, after an hour, we start falling the way we normally fall; We start falling down, but not straight down, but we start going down.  My ears begin hurting again.  I hear something about descending and buckling seat belts.  Then, I feel myself going up in the cage.  A lady goes around collecting garbage.  They should give it to me to lick out the bottom, but they don’t.  

      Then, the plane heads down.  But then it starts to go fast.   I don’t like this car.  My ears hurt again and I whine for my master, but he ignores me.   I wish we were back in the backyard, where I could smell the grass, flowers, and different trees.   Then, the back of this car hits the ground and my ears hurt.   Then, the front of the car hits the ground.   Then, we stop.  The voice says we’ve arrived at our destination, but to stay in our seats.   I can’t get up anyway.   Then, I hear a ding noise and everyone get up and gets something called carry-ons.   My master picks up my cage and I’m shaking, because I’m scared, but he can’t see me.   Then, we go out of this weird car, my master takes me outside, and I go potty.  I hope we never go in this weird car again.   Never.  I hope.