2 comments

Funny American High School

Honey, you got some mail,” called Jeff’s wife Lisa from the kitchen. “Let’s see what we got today,” Jeff began. “Bill, bill...bill. Nothing.” Lisa stopped Jeff as he went to walk away, “Wait Honey there’s something else.” “Oh yeah my Golf Digest. Good looking out Lis,” said Jeff. “No, Jeff, you have an invitation,” said Lisa. “It’s to your twentieth high school reunion. You missed your tenth and your fifteenth don’t you think you should at least try to make it to this one?” Jeff thought then said, “Maybe you’re right. I do miss my highschool friends. What day is the reunion? The 26th? Up no can’t make it, what a shame.” Lisa replied, “Jeff, why don’t you want to go to you’re high school reunion?” “Who says I don’t want to go to my reunion? I want to go to my reunion, but it’s the 26th the 26th is a very busy day for me,” said Jeff. Lisa continued, “ Jeff why don’t you want to go?” Jeff heard his wife’s question, but his mind was back in 1977 when he was in the tenth grade. It was a great time to be alive. Han Solo and Chewy has just blasted their way into the hearts of Americans.  NASA launched their first test flight. Mankind was reaching out to the stars and pulling them closer. It was a time, in Jeff’s mind anyway, when the people on Earth had things so figured out that the next step was to begin figuring out the rest of the universe as well. Plus Meatloaf just dropped “Bat Out of Hell,” and Jeff and his friends were all vying to find their paradise by the dashboard light. One day Jeff got his chance to make that fantasy a reality when Becky Geraldo, the hottest girl in school bumped into him as he came out of the bathroom. Becky, who was walking backwards waving goodbye to one of her friends, bumped into Jeff as he walked into the hallway. “Oh...hey, Becky,” Jeff Said nervously. “Hey,” said Becky chewing her gum. Jeff continued, “Hey um so since you’re here. I was wondering if you might want to, I mean if no one’s asked you yet maybe you could.” Just then Jeff was interrupted by Crash McKenzie. Crash was a defensive lineman for the school’s football team, and got his name from the way he left the opposing players resembling victims of a car crash. “Jeff are you serious right now?” Crash began. “I know I’m not hearing you try to ask Becky to be your date to the winter dance.” Jeff looked at Becky. He didn’t want to let Crash punk him in front of her so he replied, “What if I was?” Crash leaned into Jeff and said, “Well if you were I’d have to kick your ass because she already agreed to go with me which makes her my date. Are you hassling my date?” By this point a few other students started to gather around. Jeff looked around; he knew if he backed down now he’d never have another chance with Becky. He looked at the growing number of his classmates that were gathering all hoping to see another execution by Crash. How could he show his face at school again if he walked away, Jeff wondered, but, on the other hand, how could he show his face if his head had been twisted off of his body? Reluctantly Jeff said, “Oh man I’m sorry Crash; I had no idea she was your date, have fun you two.” “That’s what I thought,” said Crash. The crowd dispersed and the intensity of the moment subsided, but Jeff kept the feeling of shame with him. His illusion of his manhood had been shattered because he knew he wasn’t able to stand up to Crash. Jeff has never shaken that feeling, and as he remembered that day he shuttered a little inside. It was because of this that he had avoided his highschool reunions, but he was too embarrassed to admit this to his wife so he lied again and said he was too busy to be able to make it. Later that night as Jeff and Lisa we’re getting into bed Lisa told Jeff, “Jeff...I don’t know why you keep avoiding your reunion. You have a good job and two great kids. Are you embarrassed by me?” Jeff replied, “No! Of course not baby; I love you.” Lisa looked at Jeff as if she didn’t believe him. Finally, Jeff broke and recounted the whole story to Lisa. He looked into her eyes fully expecting her to look at him like he looked at himself, but she instead put her hand on his face and said, “You have to go to this reunion.” “What?” He replied. Lisa continued, “Honey, it’s obvious that this is something that you’ve never quite gotten over, and I don’t think that you’ll ever put it behind you if you don’t go and confront this Crash.” Jeff thought about it and realized that he was still feeling ashamed because he had never dealt with his feelings for twenty years; Lisa was right. Going to the reunion and facing his lowest moment would bring him some closure. The next day Jeff RSVP’d to the reunion. He felt great, like a weight was lifted off of his chest as he went about his whole day. He and Lisa stopped by the grocery store to pick up a few things for dinner, and Jeff, being in such a good mood, got a bottle of wine and some flowers for Lisa. He was in the check out line when he heard a vaguely familiar voice. “Hey, Jeff, why don’t you let me step in front of you? I’ve got a few less items.” As Jeff turned around, he realized that it was Crash McKenzie standing right behind him with a full kart demanding his place in line. “What are you doing here?” said Jeff. Crash replied, “I’m in town for the reunion. What are you doing here? Don’t tell me you still live in this crap hole.” Dumbfounded, Jeff said,” This is a great town. I’m a shift leader at the mill.” Crash replied, “Of course you are. Look I’m in a hurry just let me go in front of you, and I’ll see you at the reunion.” Crash leered over Jeff just as he had done all those years ago. Jeff felt the same fear and anxiety creeping in to the pit of his belly. He looked at his wife Lisa and at the shoppers who were gathering around. Just then Jeff said,” You know what Crash, you can wait just like everyone else. You were a jerk back then and you’re still a jerk now.” Crash fired right back, “Well look who thinks he finally grew a pair. You know I did you a favor. Becky left me after ten years of marriage when she realized I was never gonna go pro; she would’ve eaten you alive. Is that your wife?” Crash said pointing at Lisa. “She looks even better than Becky why don’t you introduce me?” Jeff’s face turned red. He said, “That’s it! You’ve had an ass whoopin coming to you for twenty years, and you’re gonna get it at that reunion in front of everybody!” Crash replied, “You’re on! I wanted to kick your ass in front of Becky, but your wife would be even better. You better show up!” Crash walked over to another check out counter. On the way home Jeff was silent. His daughter, Megan, asked him, “Daddy, are you and that big man gonna meet up to play at your weunion?” Jeff looked at Lisa and said, “Yes, Megan. Daddy and his friend are going to play at the reunion.” Over the next week Jeff trained in the garage on and old punching bag he bought in college. Although this wasn’t what Lisa had in mind when she said said Jeff needed to confront Crash at the reunion, she understood Jeff’s reaction after hearing Crash’s remarks at the grocery store. The week passed and, finally, the night of the reunion came. Jeff walked trembling into the old gym to face his executioner. Jeff introduced his wife Lisa and his daughter to his old friends and acquaintances and they reminisced on their glory days. Jeff was having such a good time he almost forgot about Crash when all of a sudden the doors burst open. It wasn’t Crash. It was Jeannie the alumnus who organized the reunion. She told everyone that Crash had been in, ironically enough, an actual automobile crash on his way to the reunion. He only had a few scrapes, but he wasn’t going to be able to make it to the gathering tonight. Upon hearing this Jeff felt relief that he didn’t have to confront his bully followed by a deep disappointment that he wouldn’t be able to prove to himself that he wasn’t still the same boy who had backed down from Crash in high school. Lisa put her arm around Jeff. He looked into her loving eyes. He looked at his daughter Megan, and he realized that he had two special women in his life that, unlike Becky, would love him no matter what. He felt stupid for thinking the way to reclaim his manhood was to ignite a decades old feud. He decided instead to focus on being there for Lisa and Megan. Being a man is not about how many people‘s ass you can kick; it’s about how many people‘s ass you can love.

October 02, 2020 01:53

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

2 comments

Rita Joralin
21:18 Oct 07, 2020

Your story worked well to show how important people believe high school to be, that even after twenty years people are thrown back into the high school clichés. The story utilized flashback well, to show contest for the feelings by having period moments like mentioning Star Wars to set the feeling of grandiose that thrives in high school. The ending was a nice conclusion of the story, with the realization that high was not the most important time, but he had created a life to be proud of. Great story.

Reply

Ryan Norwood
23:27 Oct 09, 2020

Thanks so much for reading it. It means a lot to get feedback since I’m trying navigate the world of writing and trying to figure out how to up my game.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
RBE | Illustration — We made a writing app for you | 2023-02

We made a writing app for you

Yes, you! Write. Format. Export for ebook and print. 100% free, always.