Death Is History Too

Submitted into Contest #80 in response to: Write about a child witnessing a major historical event.... view prompt

29 comments

African American Black Middle School

Dear Diary, 


When kids are asked what they want to be when they grow up, most will say, police officers, firefighters, detectives, basic, generic answers. They don’t think about making big changes in the world, not all the time. And they most certainly don’t think about dying. How their time in the world will end. Will they be remembered? Will the way they die make a change? Because they’re kids. We're kids. We shouldn’t have to worry about those things. We shouldn’t have to think about possibly never coming back home to sleep in our beds. Never come back home to scribble on the walls of the perfectly themed bedroom that we begged for. Never come back home to pet the dog we named after our favorite candy. Never come back home to cuddle with the stuffed animals that were convinced to talk to one another when we leave the room. But I'm forced to think about those things when I see George Floyd on the TV in the living room. When that same image is portrayed throughout history, with a different name. A different life story but the same ending. A different shade but the same color. A different cop, but the same casket. A different- well, I think you get the point.  


I stood in the hallway for a long eight minutes and forty-six seconds. I’ve never seen a dead body before, but I feel like seeing him already dead would’ve been better than watching him die. Watching him cry. Feeling my soul, leaving my body as he took his final breath. 


Diary. 

I. 

Watched. 

Someone 

Die. 


That is a historical event. But the sad part is, that in ten years he'll probably be forgotten. Just another name added to the list called black history. Well, black dead people, because black history month doesn’t actually talk about those things. Those people. Those hurting. Those kids. Those families. Those broken hearts. And forget ten years, give it ten months, ten weeks, ten days


My mom asked me how I felt about it and I said it made me sad. But that's the understatement of the year. I was sad, hurt, broken, and scared. Terrified. What if that was my dad? My brother? And I don’t’ say these things to my friends because they'll think I'm being dramatic. But my whole existence is dramatic. Living while black is a task, a test, a burden, a challenge. But I didn’t tell her that. How could I? It's not her fault that I’m black and telling her that will make it seem like I'm blaming her. It's crazy how I even have to put up a wall with my family. 


My mom went into her room and called my dad right after she turned the TV off. She thinks I couldn’t hear the muffled cries behind the closed door. I could. I could hear her heart breaking with every sob. The fear in her shaky voice as she told my dad what happened. The choice words she used to describe her pain. I definitely shouldn’t have heard that. But I also shouldn’t have had to see someone's cause of death be their skin tone. I shouldn’t have to live in a world like that. We shouldn’t have to live in a world like that. But, *sarcastic jazz hands* here we are. 


My little sister Maya is six. The same age as Gianna Floyd. My parents told me not to tell her what was going on, so I won’t. But I think she should know. There's no point in trying to guard and protect her when society will undo that before she hits middle school, right? When she could be drowned like Emmett or shot like Trayvon, or now, a new way, choked like George. Those sound like they could be chapters in a history book, or, maybe a novel. Something fictional or not as serious, because history books don’t actually mention things like that. 


Last week, we had a project where we had to take care of an egg and see if we could help it “survive.” Cutting up the fabric to make a blanket for my make-believe child was so much fun. Pretending to feed it, change its diaper, normal stuff, made me happy. But now, seeing the way someone’s dad, someone’s husband, someone’s son, was killed...I don’t want kids. I don’t want to see my child's name scrolling across the screen. I don’t want my grandchild to have to go up to an open casket. To take a seat next to their crying siblings. To have to act strong, when inside they are shattered. Like I am right now. 


And when we go back to school, will the teachers talk about it? Will they ask us how we feel? No. Of course not. Because they don’t care about the students. They want to give us education but at the end of the day, when you look like me, how far will education take you, when people are literally killing us every day. But only what gets recorded is for the world to see. I can't tell my friends this either, because they don't care. And they won't be doing it on purpose either. But if you don’t have to live through it, you can't see it. You only see the surface level and there's so so much more. 


But when we go to school tomorrow, I'm going to bring it up. I may be a kid, a small middle schooler, but I can make a change. Or at least I can try. And the next time someone asks me what I want to be when I grow up, I think I'll say a change maker. I don’t know how I'm going to do it yet, but I will. I promise. 


I have to go now, my mom is calling me down for dinner...and tonight when we say our prayers, I’m going to pray for George Floyd’s family. It’s the first time I’m going to say something like that, but I’m sure it won’t be the last. 


Sincerely, 


Lia James 


February 13, 2021 02:17

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29 comments

Cookie Carla🍪
17:11 Feb 23, 2021

Sorry it took so long for me to read this. I've been responding to comments and reading other stories since I've been inactive for a while. Anyways... I found it really easy to lose myself in this story. It kept my attention from the beginning to the end. And somehow, you made it really realistic. Like, I really felt the emotion coming from the child. It took me on so many rollercoasters I don't even know what to say. The reason behind the story was so vivid that I could almost picture it right in front of my eyes. Let me tell you somethin...

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🄼🄹 🅂
21:00 Feb 23, 2021

You don’t know how much that means to me. Thank you so much! :)

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Cookie Carla🍪
21:44 Feb 23, 2021

Happy to share my thoughts and comments :DD!! I'm looking forward to reading more stories from you!!

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Is this an actual one of your entries? Oh my gosh, moved. Don't let anyone tell you not to write like this. it comes from the heart.

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🄼🄹 🅂
21:51 Feb 22, 2021

Thank you for that! It means so much. It’s inspired by a few different entries that I wrote but isn’t a direct one. I’m glad you connected with it. Thank you again for reading! 🙃

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Svara Narasiah
15:30 Feb 19, 2021

This was such a beautiful story and it touched my heart in so many ways. 9.5/10 stars, hands down. There was a grammatical error I noticed though, you said “don’t’” instead of “don’t” might want to take out that extra comma, but otherwise it was a truly amazing story, and I love how you said that black people are the same color as whites but just a different shade. Thank you for this story

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Somegenius Kid
02:30 Feb 19, 2021

Soooooooooo goooood Thanks for my comment!!!

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🄼🄹 🅂
03:08 Feb 19, 2021

Thanks for reading! And no problem about the comment. I hope it helps. :)

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Somegenius Kid
03:25 Feb 19, 2021

It sure did. Please follow and like!! That will help me out more!!!!!

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Somegenius Kid
03:25 Feb 19, 2021

It sure did. Please follow and like!! That will help me out more!!!!!

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Somegenius Kid
03:25 Feb 19, 2021

It sure did. Please follow and like!! That will help me out more!!!!!

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04:36 Feb 17, 2021

Thank you so much for writing this.

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🄼🄹 🅂
07:49 Feb 17, 2021

I'm always happy to take on heavy topics and turn them into pieces that people can enjoy and see other perspectives. Thank you so much for reading this. :) -Mj

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00:48 Feb 18, 2021

:)

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Thom With An H
23:39 Feb 16, 2021

Your words are disconcerting in their truth. They are riveting in their pain. They are powerful in their message. This is not a story it is a warning and a blessing. Thank you for reaching out to me and trusting me with your words. I am moved. I am changed. I am grateful.

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🄼🄹 🅂
00:30 Feb 17, 2021

That means the world to me. Thank you so so much!

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23:43 Feb 15, 2021

Wow this diary format really gave context to the rest of the story. Great job!

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🄼🄹 🅂
00:29 Feb 17, 2021

Thank you very much!

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01:03 Feb 14, 2021

I like the diary format, it onveys the opinions and emotion and since diarys are private (well, are supposed to be), she can just dump all her thoughts onto the page. your stories bring awareness to the events that have happened in a unique way, great job!!!! ~ Amethyst

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🄼🄹 🅂
17:29 Feb 14, 2021

Thank you so much! Happy Valentine’s Day ❤️

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17:45 Feb 14, 2021

Np! :)

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🄼🄹 🅂
02:20 Feb 13, 2021

Hi everyone! This story is not the best that I've written, but I got the idea at like midnight last night and I had to go with it. It turned out better than I thought for such a short amount of time to work on it. Let me know what you guys think and give me some suggestions for this week's prompts! Don't give up, stay safe, and keep writing! -Mj

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Whitney Jones
17:06 Feb 24, 2021

The story was so true and amazing. OMG, you're excellent writer. When you write reread the entire story before submitting it, or submit it then read and then edit. You use an excessive amount of commas. I was very close to crying, like it was tearing my heart apart. It's so deep and so true, with a powerful meaning. So much applause, 👏👏👏👏👏👏.

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🄼🄹 🅂
18:58 Feb 24, 2021

Thank you so much. I’ll check about the commas. I’m glad you connected with the story *bows*

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Whitney Jones
19:18 Feb 24, 2021

Ur welcome 🤓

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03:44 Feb 20, 2021

Dkwojejwjwjw this is so sad but written beautifully 😭 I love your word choice and how you captured the emotions. You’re really good at getting powerful topics and doing them justice with writingggg... Happy Black History Month! ~ Aerin

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🄼🄹 🅂
03:53 Feb 20, 2021

Thank you so much! I really do try with harder topics to show a different perspective and get people to possibly understand. I’m glad you liked it so much. Thank you for always supporting me! 💙 -Mj

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