Me, Grace, and The Window Space

You'd think being trapped in the house all day and not being about to go outside as much would be a dream come true for an antisocial like myself, but newsflash! 

It's not.

It was so much more a dream when I was obligated to do so because I wanted to, not because I must. Being trapped in the house because you have to takes the fun out of it. Now I'm faced with the reality that I have no friends and no life. (Not that I didn’t know that before.) Guess who isn't and hasn't gotten texts from anyone in over a year? Your girl Samara here!

Quarantine has made me open my eyes to the fact if a cure isn't found for this virus, I may deal with the fact that I'll be a friendless virgin for the rest of my life. I pride myself on hoping for a miracle, so god please send me something. Give me a sign. Anything really. Please.

So far, my days have consisted of Netflix, Romance and Horror novels, pizza, Instagram, pity parties, and gazing out the window occasionally at my smoking hot neighbor Grace Edwards. 

Now you see, Grace is the highlight of my days. She's a literal sight for sore eyes. That long brown hair, honey brown eyes, and that big beautiful smile. What a girl right? Now I myself would totally talk her, - if I didn't have anxiety and low self-esteem. The only time I have confidence is when I start fake fights with imaginary people in the shower. Yes, I am that much of a bum. And besides, why would she notice me anyway? The only thing she ever said to me was "do you know the time?". Though brief, it was the most awesome thing ever for a lone wolf like me.

What to do. What to do. 

Tap.

What the hell was that?

Tap. 

Am I losing my mind now too?

Tap.

Nope. I'm hearing something.

Tap.

You know what? I think that's my bedroom window.

I go to my room expecting to see some middle school boys playing a joke but instead, I see what I never expected, - Grace. She had been throwing rocks from her window. Why does she have rocks in her room? Unknown. Anyways, most importantly, she wants my attention so my attention she'll get.

"Hey, I thought you’d never answer," she says with that beautiful smile.

"Oh hey, sorry I couldn't figure out where the sound was coming from. I was expecting to see the neighborhood preteens. They tend to bother me occasionally for their own sick version of fun." Dickheads. I mutter under my breath.

She laughs. Someone help me I think I've heard an angel.

"I figured I should officially introduce myself. I've moved in like five months ago and we never really talked before and I don't live near anyone else I know, so I thought you here, so why not?" She says.

If you couldn't tell already, I'm screaming with glee inside.

"Cool," I say. God, I'm such a dork.

We begin talking from our windows about practically everything whether it be about college, television shows, movies, and my personal favorite- food! I don't think of Grace as my crush anymore. I think I found my soulmate. She's everything I could ever want. I mean I think she is. I know I'm not experienced in the love department, but really will anyone ever even compare? Then again, there's the biggest thing of all- does she even like girls? I’ve always heard rumors about her being with guys, but I never actually saw for myself. A girl like her had to have dated before. She's literally a goddess. Man, just looking at her makes my heart flutter. You can’t see but I’m swooning right now.

Grace and I continued to talk every day by our windows. We even exchanged numbers! It'd be smart to especially since I'm broke and wouldn't be able to afford to change the window if it broke. I was getting actual messages now. Not just notifications about my games or alarms. 

As weeks went by, Grace and I became closer and my feelings were growing stronger and stronger but still, I hadn't mustered up the courage to ask about her sexuality. Not to mention how awkward and uncomfortable I would become talking about it. Still, my feelings started getting in the way and I started acting weirder than I usually do. But the next day, I got up, looked in the mirror, and gave myself a semi-awkward pep talk. I say it helped 65 percent.

I didn't want to make things awkward or obvious, so I eased into the ex-topic and dating history. (real smooth right?) I went first and explained that I'd never dated anyone, let alone kissed anyone. (sad, but true.) When it was her time for her to tell me her history, I'd expected to hear this long list of guys because who wouldn't date her when she's that beautiful? But what I did hear surprised me so much I almost fell out my window.

No one.

Not a kiss. 

No guy.

No girl. 

No one. 

Was I hearing this correctly? There's just no way. 

She saw my confused face and immediately asked what I was thinking. Completely forgetting how awkward I was, I asked her how she hadn't dated anyone. I told her how beautiful, and awesome she was and how everyone was missing out on how amazing she was.

She started to blush this deep red. And I became embarrassed. I wondered if what I said was cringe or something until she spoke and interrupted my overwhelming thoughts.

"Sorry I took so long to answer, it's just, no one has ever said those things like that to me before. I mean yeah I've been called pretty before no one has ever said it you know like that."

"I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I just felt like I should blunt for that."

"No, you didn't make me uncomfortable. I appreciate everything you said it's just-

I interrupt her trying to save myself from the embarrassment.

"You don't like girls. That's totally fine. You -

Before I finish talking, she interrupts me and what she says shocks me and simultaneously makes my heart melt.

" You got it all wrong Samara. I haven't dated anyone, but I've always liked boys and girls. I'm bisexual."

Not being able to push out any words because of the excitement, all I could muster is a clear head over heels "Oh." I couldn’t hide the excitement from my face. Like dude am I dreaming? In return, she just smiles back. Damn. If only she knew what it did to me.

"So, what happens now?" She says smiling still.

I smile back.

"We do as much as much can until we officially meet up close," I say.

"God, I was so nervous about meeting you. You always seemed so cool. Not to mention how pretty you are." She says gushing.

She's not serious, right? 

"Are you kidding me? I was thinking that same thing about you. And if by cool you mean girl whose only friends are the neighborhood strays, then yeah, I'm cool as f***.

She laughs and soon after I do as well even though I'm dead serious. The strays even diss me from time to time. I'm not even kidding.

We talk a little more about our future and everything we'll do after quarantine is over until it starts getting dark and starts to wrap up our conversation until tomorrow.

"I can't wait for this to all be over so we can have our first kiss," she says looking into my eyes.

"Me too, for now, I'll just keep sending you kissing emojis, so you never forget how I feel."

She chuckles and blows a kiss to me telling me goodnight.

"Until then Samara."

"Until then," I say.

Quarantine sucks, but it did bring me closer to an angel. Maybe it won't be as miserable after all. Maybe.

Who am I kidding? I'm dying here! 

Let me out of here already! I got lips to kiss! 

Yup, you guessed it, I’m still a huge dork.