I’m a Bank Robber

I never lived a lavish lifestyle. Most of my friends would consider me living a tad above the poverty line. I drove a 2008 Accord. My clothes looked as if they were purchased from any thrift store and I wore payless shoes on my feet. My greatest purchase is a $3,000 or 52,428.90 in South African Rand, African Grey parrot in which have been pets for thousands of years, there are records of these birds as household pets even in biblical times. Prudles, a male African Grey owned by King Solomon said: “At all times let your clothes be clean and let your head lack no oil.

My African Grey parrot “Sisqó”  has the fascinating ability to reason and an uncanny talent for accurately mimicking words and phrases. The first song I insisted “Sisqó” to learned was, Your Love Is Incredible to sing. Listening to him sing a few lines of that song starts my morning.

Uh, hmm, oh baby

Baby yeah, baby, baby listen you parrot girl I peeped you long ago  

So I wrote down for you every Saturday, hmm

You was nibbling on a Kebbler Cracker

I was looking at you

Thinking you're freaky

(That night)

That night I got to get you, got to get you

How could I get you out of that cage, hmm

And I can't get you out of my mind

LuLu the parrot I can't get you out of my parrot mind,

Your love is incredible

You can say it's unforgettable

Can't believe it's getting sexual

Cause your love is incredible, incredible

Said you're love is incredible

You can say it's unforgettable

Can we make it more than sexual?

Cause your love is incredible, incredible, incredible. He can really tear up the ending how he sings incredible. Like LuLu wanna be free.

“Sisqó”  can also understand human speech, which has helped to catapult this bird to stardom in the Hip-Hop and rap world. He has a cognitive understanding of the language with a vocabulary of almost 2,000 words.

I was working as a Laundry Attendant earning $9.00 an hour. My only responsibilities were to Sorting, washing, drying, pressing and folding clothing and other textile items. Removing stains from items using the appropriate procedures. Performing minor sewing duties. Tracking which items belong to whom. Keeping an updated inventory of laundry detergents and sewing kits. Tracking maintenance and repairs on laundering equipment. Ensuring that the facility remains clean at all times. Anticipating and responding to customers' queries, concerns and complaints and keeping sufficient tokens or change for the washing and drying machines, if required.

I had been doing that job for over 9 years.

When I got off work that 12 hour shift my friends were there to greet me. It was my 30^th birthday and they were taking me to a strip club. They didn’t allow me to go home and shower or change my clothes until the 4 of us got inside of that rented Limo. It didn’t take me long to ready myself. While they drank and listened to “Sisqó”  sing that Parrot Thong Song: You like to dance on the hip hop spots

And you cruise to crews to connect the dots

Not just urban she like the pop

Cause she was 'Living' La Vida Loca

She had dumps like a truck, truck, truck

Thighs like what, what, what

Baby move your yellow tail butt, butt, butt.

I think I'll sing it again.

When I came out of the bedroom fully dressed and now ready to party, they were all on the floor half drunk and with laughter from “Sisqó” rendition of that Parrot Thong Song.

So we all piled back into the Limo and headed for the Gentlemen Club. The first thing I witnessed was a dancer twisted around a pole, kicking her heels and arching her back for the men who watch with bills crumpled in their hands. Other women, dressed in almost nothing, sashayed around the club, chatting with clients and grinding on them in front of mirror-lined walls. A rowdy bachelor party flung so much cash that one stripper had to retrieve a plastic shopping bag to scoop it all up. She high-fives each of her patrons as she dances off the stage. It’s just another night at Tampa’s Mons Venus Gentlemen Club.

The “world-famous” full-nude club is a lot smaller than its reputation would have you believe. There are no private rooms. No doors on the bathroom stalls. It’s just a silver pole in the center of an octagon-shaped stage surrounded by a strip of shiny, black booths.

After my fifth or sixth triple shot of Tequila I wouldn’t have cared if we were in a barn. That’s when the stripper who called herself Nevaeh in which I somehow knew was Heaven spelled backwards. It was like love at first almost naked sight.

We exchange our personal information just in time because Tampa police raided that club and began dragging naked and half naked strippers out to the paddy wagon in handcuffs.

It was about 4:12am before I got back to my apartment. I was awoken on the living room unrugged  floor by “Sisqó” singing Build Me Up Butter Cup:

Why do you build me up (build me up) buttercup, Solomon

Just to let me down (let me down) and mess me around?

And then worst of all (worst of all) you never call, Solomon

When you say you will (say you will) but I love you still

I need you (I need you) more than anyone, to at least feed me

You knew what kind of parrot I was from the start

So build me up (build me up) buttercup, don't break my heart

You said you’d be home by midnight.," you told me time and time again

But you're late, I wait around and then (bah dah dah)

I went to the cage door, I can't take any more

It's not you, you let me down again.

He must have learned that song from watching videos on You Tube. I quickly showered to get the strip club scent off me and vomit. It was Saturday and I usually went sightseeing. I hopped into my car and went directly downtown all the banks were just closing.

My thoughts and spying eyes got interrupted by a call on my cell phone. It was Nevaeh from the strip Club. She wanted to know if I could bail her out of the clink. I asked how much was her bond? She said $1,000 and she would pay me back as soon as she got home. She never made it home that night or the next night. On Monday I called off work for the first time as we went sightseeing for a bank I would be robbing soon.

In just two days and a half of being with Nevaeh I had spent over 11 grand. I was so madly in love with her that I asked her could she keep a secret. She said of course. I told her that I was a big time dope dealer.

After revealing that most kept secret from anyone. She asked me to stop at a restaurant so she could relieve herself. Within 20 minutes my car was surrounded by police and FBI agents. Nevaeh had sold me out.

It wasn’t until the police were made out to look real stupid that she gave them that bogus information for total exoneration from her 8^th arrest, She was looking at some series jail time. While I was walking out of the jail. I seen her handcuffed on one of those benches. I asked her how could you do that to me? You ain’t no different then any other trick. I say yes I am, in my mind as I walked out of the jail door. Because I’m a Bank Robber! Net worth 13.5 million.