I can't be killed.

“Because I said so…”

She heard him. Even though he was hiding in the dark corner; whispering through exhausted lungs, she had to listen to him. His shaky hands pointing an AK57 at her daughter. Her legs were stuck to the ground. She had to lean forward to make her legs move because the banging on the door had started sounding desperate and insecure. She opened the door. It was a young Indian BSF soldier. Border Safety Force. It was ironic that this soldier was on duty in the midriff region of India’s Gadchiroli district, Maharashtra state. The closest border of India was 1000Km away. He had no purpose being here. Of course, the guy hiding inside was a threat to the Indian border. He was an infamous Naxalite leader Anna, the lieutenant of Naxalite forces. He was injured in the shootout just an hour ago. His calf was missing a major chunk of flesh. A random bullet that wasn't meant for him, got him. Anna was so stubborn that he refused to bleed out. He knew the whole region as if it were his backyard. He threw himself down a hill. When he finally rolled to the bottom, he found himself just 10 minutes away from the Bhayika’s hut.

Bhayika, a woman whose husband was killed by Naxalite rebels; she, her daughter and mother-in-law were the only people living inside. It took Anna half an hour to reach Bhayika’s hut. He knocked on the door and as soon as he heard it unlocking, he pushed the door and collapsed inside. His one hand pointing the AK57 at the family and the other hand’s index finger pressed on his lips, implying to keep quiet. Bhayika was startled for a second, then she understood what was about to happen. She threw herself at the door and closed it from inside. She quickly grabbed a dry food supply, some dry clothes which she tied in a big towel and threw all of it in his direction. She then blew out the lamps, grabbed her daughter and mother-in-law and pressed them against each other in the dark and tight corner of the hut. That side of the wall was covered from the outside by old trees and a strong cattle pen. If they start shooting at her house, that corner will not be pierced by the bullets so easily. Anna witnessed this woman doing all this in just a few seconds. He was shocked. How many times has this woman imagined and prepared for a situation like this? He took the bundle of clothes and food. If he leaves now, it will be enough for him to survive for at least two days in the jungle.  

Anna had survived in the jungle with too little to eat and too much to bear. At the age of 14, he had felt invincible. The first time in his life not dying was an option for him... His whole family was massacred by the Indian government’s police officers and inspectors. There had been an attack on the Government guest house; the collector's wife and two sons were sleeping inside. In the attack, they were killed. The Naxalites had planned the attack to target the collector's family, with no intention of killing them. These deaths were unexpected. The Naxalites were just a handful of rebels who were not ready to face the escalated response from the biggest democracy in the world, at least not yet. All the rebels dumped their weapons in the lake. They went home and decided to wait out the rage of the Indian government and the collector’s office. The police were suddenly active, these little tribes had never seen the khaki uniforms this active before. It almost felt like a betrayal. Every tribesman was thinking - if you can find where we live then why did you never help us when we were begging for help? We cried, slept outside your cabins, we did your chores. We even pressed your legs and massaged your fat necks. But all you did was ignore us. Every time we came back home defeated, some other tribe or next household took up the challenge. Some of us died in front of your courtrooms. Even then you ordered us to remove the dead bodies from the premises. You didn't help even then. And now your cars and jeeps are sturdy enough to reach our dusty little angan (front porch)? You now suddenly understand our language when you ask us if any Naxalite agent is hiding inside? 

Some of the uniforms had familiar faces. They came crawling to the elders of the tribe. They tried to remind them that they had met before. With creepy smiles, they asked these elders to help them find the Naxalites. They tried to convince the tribes that these Naxalites were criminals, robbers, murderers. The more these uniforms were trying hard to reach out, the more they were pushing the tribesmen towards Naxalism. When all the tactics failed, they started torching the huts. When the tribesmen tried to put out the fires, the uniforms tied them with rope. That day, the uniforms made the natives witness their houses burn. Then they took young girls with them; they started forcing themselves on the girls even before their jeeps started moving. Everything was lost, ashes were in the air, some were praying to their gods to ensure their girls lived after the uniforms were done with them. It was almost dawn, all the smoke and ashes dried out their throats. Some young kids were serving water from buckets. These young lads were not from their tribe, they had long black shawls wrapped around them. They asked everybody to gather in front of the burnt houses. When these young lads removed their shawls, every tribesman felt anger running through their veins. These young lads were armed, these were the Naxalites. Their leader started addressing what happened last night. He explained it in such a way that the tribesmen felt like it was their fault, they themselves had allowed it to happen. These young lads were sympathetic to their loss, they were loud and fearless, there was a fire in these young lads eyes. As ashes began to settle and the sun started rising, the burnt down tribe was rising as Naxalite empathetic. A child of merely 14 years of age was with these young lads. He had fresh ash all over his clothes and hair. His tribe was the first to get burned down. His whole family was slaughtered. He was holding a gun. His eyes were much older than his age. His hands were not shaking, his legs were sturdy. They started calling him Anna… Anna found the mantra to outlive their conditioning - if I can kill, I can't be killed.

Anna woke up like he was drowning. His heart was pounding in his ear, he was soaking wet, he tried to get up. But an excruciating pain brought him instantly on his back. His calf was treated with home medicine. Of course, Bhayika did this. Her husband was killed by Naxalite comrades… I must not trust her… where is the gun... His gun was on the other side of the hut. By the looks of it, even his gun needed rest. It was heavy, its edges smooth where it was held and handled more. The wooden base was oily and dirty due to overuse. Anna forgot to breathe for a second when he realised he was not holding his gun. His paranoia overwhelmed him. He crawled to the other side and grabbed his gun. Bhayika, her daughter and her mother-in-law were looking at Anna as if he had lost his mind. Bhayika was boiling water in a pot. She went back to staring at the pot, her daughter resumed playing with grandma's chin mole. Anna tried to stand up. His efforts, his squeaks were ignored by all three. He decided to settle on the spot until he came up with THE plan to move back to bed without using his leg muscle group. He was not gonna ask for help. I could point my gun at their heads again. A thought flashed in his mind followed by immediate self ridiculing. Bhayika was lost in her thoughts. Anna decided to speak. 

“So much has changed. I know the movement is not what it used to be.”

Her mother-in-law spoke a few words in reply. Nobody understood her. Nobody cared.

Bhayika's silence made him nervous. He decided to try and start a conversation one more time. 

“You must listen to me. I'm Anna, leader of the Naxalite troop” 

She looked up. He was confused. Is she gonna say something? They both kept staring at each other for a while. Then she spoke, “ok I’m listening. What do you want? Water?”

“No, I don't want your water for god’s sake woman. Don't you know who I am? I'm Anna.. haven't you heard of me?”

She went back to the staring contest with boiling water. Anna felt disrespected, this was highly unusual. But Anna was not offended, maybe because his movement killed her husband or maybe because he likes Bhayika… 

Bhayika has long hair, she is resourceful and smart, most importantly she looks self-aware all the time. Anna liked that quality the most. He was sure, under that heap of old clothes was a hardworking tribe woman’s body. Anna was staring at her. He tried to imagine being with her… 

Suddenly, his lieutenant training kicked in. Footsteps, heavy, cautious, crushing of dry leaves... They are wearing heavy sturdy footwear, maybe military-issued boots. Anna pulled the remaining strength from his tired body. He grabbed Bhayika’s daughter and collapsed in the same corner where Bhayika had chosen to hide her family. He put the daughter on his other lap while resting the barrel of the gun on her ear. Bhayika realised what was about to happen. Anna looked directly into Bhayika’s eyes. He tried to guess what was on her mind. In his commanding voice, Anna said, “I knew your husband, we didn't kill him. They did'' Anna nodded his head towards the door. “We are fighting to protect your right; our right to live... Our freedom... We are not the enemy, they are… You are going to do exactly what I say… Remove your clothes… Make it look like we were busy in bed... After they knock thrice, only then open the door... If they try to get in, you slap their face while barely covering your naked body… And look straight into their eyes… Until they move back…Bhayika, do you understand? Say yes… say it..”

“But why..?”

“Because I said so…”

Anna knew that BSF soldiers were combing the parameters, and these soldiers were nothing like uniforms. They had values and faith in their motherland, these soldiers truly believed that they were serving the Nation and its people… just like us… 

There was a confident knock on the door. 

“Open the door” somebody was trying hard to speak in the tribal dialect.

Second knock. Bhayika realised; once she opens the door it's gonna be bloodshed and they are not going to care about her daughter or an old lady. Because they will never get a chance like this to kill or catch ‘The Anna’. She removed her clothes and wrapped them like Anna had told her to. 

The third knock was desperate and a bit insecure. She imagined that the soldiers were looking at the door through their rifle scope. Anna was ready for everything. His mind was sharp, the hand was sturdy. Anna said to himself, if I kill them, I won't be killed... Before the fourth knock, Bhayika opened the door. At that exact moment, somebody started apologizing. It was a green boy BSF soldier, he saw Bhayika’s barely covered naked body and he looked away instantly. He was the one apologizing. Bhayika quickly looked at the premises. The other soldiers were facing away from the house, into the dark forest, they were being vigilant. 

“ma’am, how many people are inside?”

 Bhayika felt like she had little control over the situation.

“My husband, my daughter and my mother-in-law”

The soldier was shocked. These tribesmen are either progressive or uncivilised. How can you be intimate with your partner while his mother and their daughter are in the same room?

“Ok... Did you see anybody passing from here? Male 5’9. He was hurt”

Bhayika looked inside the house and acted like her husband was telling her something.

“No. Please go away.”

“Yes ma’am, sorry ma’am. Please be cautious, there is a dangerous man on the lo....”

She closed the door. Slowly all the heavy footsteps went away. Anna let her daughter go. Bhayika opened the door again and asked her daughter to play outside. Her daughter got confused. “In the middle of the night? I'm not supposed to go out.” Bhayika pushed her. Anna wasn't sure what she was doing, he was a bit occupied with Bhayika’s body. 

“Moma, please stay with her,” Bhayika asked her mother-in-law. The mother-in-law moved out of the house as quickly as possible. Anna was losing blood, his leg was throbbing, the bandage that Bhayika had put on his wound was barely holding.  

Bhayika moved slowly towards Anna. Anna wished to grab her waist and ravish her. His pain was crushing his brain. Bhayika grabbed Anna's hand and she helped him to the bed. Anna almost collapsed. Slowly and gracefully Bhayika grabbed his gun. Anna had no more strength left to hold on to the gun. Bhayika looked into his eyes. Anna could smell Bhayika’s body musk. Bhayika pointed the gun at Anna's injured leg. What is she doing? Anna thought.

“When are your comrades arriving..?” she asked.

 Anna was losing his consciousness. The only detail he noticed about her was that she was holding that gun properly. She was trained. Is she a member of ‘Salwa Judum’?

Salwa Judum was the most heinous, cruel initiative of the Indian government for which almost every member of the United Nations condemned India. Indian bureaucracy failed to gain the trust of natives, they failed to identify who is Naxalite and who wasn’t. They were unsure how to ask tribesmen whether their sons and daughters were Naxalite or not. They all looked the same to bureaucracy. So they came up with the Salwa Judum initiative where the Indian government put weapons into their hands and asked them to kill Naxalites. A government that was supposed to protect them was, instead, giving them weapons to kill their brothers and sisters who were fighting for their rights. Bhayika’s husband was killed in action. He was a member of Salwa Judum. Bhayika had picked up his gun and joined the battle after his death. But the Salwa Judum program was abandoned by the government. All the members of Salwa Judum were slaughtered by Naxalites as traitors. 

Bhayika pressed the gun into the cavity of Anna’s injured calf. The pain was so excruciating that Anna couldn’t even scream with full lungs. 

“When will they arrive?” she asked again.

Anna looked at her. She had a fire in her eyes. Suddenly, there were gunshots at a distance.

My comrades are here already, Anna thought. He tried to get away from her. She sat on his chest. Her barely covered body holding the AK57. With a tilted head she tried to understand what was happening outside. Anna just wanted to be with her, grab her, kiss her. Anna wanted Bhayika… 

In just a few minutes the shootout was sobered. There was a knock on the door.

“Anna. Come out. It's us” yelled one of Anna's trusted allies. He had been in the ambush where Anna had got shot in the leg. He must have escaped, regrouped with his comrades and had led them here, guessing correctly that Anna would be hiding here. 

Bhayika pressed her index finger on Anna's lips. It was her turn now. Bhayika whispered, “ask them to release my daughter and mother-in-law. Then they should stay 50 yards away. Make them believe that we are busy in bed”

Anna looked at Bhayika’s sweaty forehead. Why is she doing this? Clearly, those BSF soldiers saw my blood at the doorstep. Bhayika somehow informed them that I’m hiding inside. She sent her daughter and mother-in-law outside so that the BSF soldiers could protect them... It was a second prompt ambush... But the tables have turned and my comrades have killed all the soldiers outside... Why is she still in charge?

“Do as I say, Balya” 

How come she knows my real name? Nobody calls me by my name… 

“Say yes, Balya”

Anna was stunned. He needed to know why she was doing this. What is she planning to do? Where is her strength coming from? 

Anna whispered back, 

“why?”

Bhayika said, “because I said so…” 

Anna tried to shout as much as possible. The message was conveyed. Some of the comrades laughed when he said he is busy with Bhayika. There was silence for 15 minutes... Only the hushed sound of chitchat among comrades. 15 minutes were enough for her mother-in-law to take her daughter at a safe distance.

Bhayika was soaking the moonlight that entered from the door crack. Anna looked at her, half-conscious. Water in the pot was boiling ferociously. Bhayika went to that same safe corner. lifted the little trap door. It was hidden storage in the ground. She took out her husband's gun. She came back and sat on Anna's chest. The night was silent. There were bodies of BSF soldiers everywhere. The spilt blood of soldiers and rebels was shining in the moonlight. The careless murmurs of comrades were disrespecting the dead. Suddenly, a shot was fired from inside the house. The comrades quickly grabbed their guns and started running towards Bhayika’s hut. But they were stopped abruptly.  

Because there was a second shot fired in the house.