The Celtic Knot Key

“You must be the new hire.” a loud, coarse voice called out from behind the bar.

           “I’m Colin O’Balley.” he answered with a smile as he reached his small, well-moisturized hand out for a handshake.

           A robust man walks from around the bar and stretches out his arm to greet the handshake. His large hand grips Colin’s firmly. “I’m Jack! The boss told me you’d be coming in to learn the ropes today. I’m glad that mog finally settled on someone! We’ve needed some help around here for a while now, lad. Hope this works out. The last guy was pure gammy! Have you got any experience?”

           “Yeah, I’ve got some. I was a waiter back home in Cork. Lots of foot traffic!” Colin took a look around the bar. “From the looks of it, this shouldn’t be too much of a problem.”

           Jack snickered a bit and then responded with a hint of sarcasm in his voice, “Well, buck, you may be in for a surprise. Things can get rather dicey when these chancers get scuttered. Out here, in a small town, folks come here cause there’s nowhere else to go, but that means they’re here all the time. This is a great little place to work, and a great town to be in. Just don’t let your guard down around these gimps. As soon as you do, you’ll find a bottle puckin’ you in the back of the head. What brings you out here from the big city anyways?”

           “I never did like the city. I don’t like the way of life there. Nothing but a bunch of goms living to survive. I wanted more than that. I came here a couple months back. Used up all my savings, which wasn’t much, you understand. I’m glad Mr. McElroy gave me a chance here. I’ll be a good worker for you. You’ll see.” Colin smiled in relief that a paycheck was within sight.

           “We’ll see, boyo. This place may end up being too much for you to handle. You seem like a nice lad. Nice lads don’t last longer than a year around here.” A coat of seriousness encasing Jack’s statement resonated in Colin’s mind. “You can shadow me for the day. Watch what I do. I’ll get you working tomorrow.”

           Colin gives a respectful nod as Jack turns to walk back round the bar. Colin looked around the room and was immediately impressed. The red wood walls and flooring were polished to an almost mirror finish. Irish flag banners hung tastefully around the place, showing the establishment’s pride. As he made his way around the bar, he noticed gold inlays in the bar top, forming shiny Celtic knots every few feet. Everywhere he looked, Colin could sense the masterful craftsmanship that went into building the place. He followed Jack around, wiping surfaces as he went, watching him pour and serve drinks. They talked a bit about the area and Colin told Jack about Cork. By the end of the day, he found himself wondering how the place stays open. There weren’t many customers, and, even though they all ordered multiple drinks and tipped well, there just didn’t seem to be much money going into the register.

           After Jack showed him how to close the bar and lock up. Colin watched Jack carefully while he locked all the doors. Jack had one key he used on all the doors, except one. Standing in front of an old weathered door at the back of the bar across from the washroom, Jack jiggled the unique gold handle embossed with Celtic patterns. Colin saw the careful expression on Jack’s face and winced a bit. Once satisfied that the bar was locked and clean, Jack climbed into his car. He offered Colin a ride, but Colin declined and told him he had his bicycle. He watched Jack pull away in a high-end Lexus, which made his eyebrows raise. Colin had sold his little old Ford and used the money to pay for a year of rent in a one-room cottage. It wasn’t much, but it was the perfect place for Colin to have some peace and quiet so he could paint. Colin was an avid painter. He had started painting when he was just a kid after his father disappeared. It became his vice, and, eventually, it became his passion. He took pictures of every painting he did, then he threw the painting away. Boxes of pictures of paintings filled one of the closets in his cottage. Colin took in the scenery, getting inspiration for his next canvas, on his bike ride to his new home.

           The next day, the bright white Lexus was already parked in front of the bar when Colin pulled up on his bike. After parking the mountain coaster, he walked into the bar and greeted Jack, who was already wiping the tables again.

           “Would you be a good lad and go get another keg of brown ale from the cooler barn in the back? Keys are under the bar.”

           Colin nodded and went toward the register, looking under the bar the whole way. A glint of gold caught his eye. He bent down to see what it was, and found a gold key, obviously old, the head of which was a molded Celtic knot. To Colin, it looked like some kind of old Irish castle key. He picked it up and examined it in the sunlight coming through the oxidized windows.

           “That’s the wrong key, buck. The key to the freezer barn is over there more.” Jack said in sort of troubled tone.

           Colin acknowledged Jack’s concerned demeanor and set the key down gently. He went a little further down and found an ordinary key with a blank, white paper tag on it. He quickly grabbed it and headed out the back door. The first customer of the day walked through the door and greeted Jack as the door closed behind Colin. After a couple minutes, Colin reemerged with the aluminum cylinder Jack requested.

           “Need a hand with that, bucko?” Jack sarcastically asked, causing he and the customer to burst into laughter. Colin sighed in a bit of shame and brought the keg behind the bar. His small frame obviously struggling with the last few feet. Jack grabbed the keg and lifted it, seemingly effortlessly, and installed it under the bar. Colin watched him so he knew how to do it next time. Jack told Colin to grab a rag and start cleaning. Colin spent the rest of the day cleaning moisture rings and peanut shell bits off the tables. He did a lot of listening to the conversations that Jack had with each customer. Jack’s tone told Colin that the conversations were the same today as they were yesterday, and the day before. The boredom in his voice made it seem like the bar was on a reset button, and every day everyone was on repeat. Everyone but Jack, who had the look of a man who was cursed with the knowledge of the time loop that everyone else lived in. His grey hair reflected the years of watching the same customers come in, drink, and leave, having the same conversations, and only seeing the excitement of the occasional bar brawl. His unwrinkled face, though, boasted the youthfulness of a stress-free lifestyle.

           At the end of the day, Colin had finished his closing chores. He mustered the courage and asked, “Jack, you want me to clean that back room?”

           “I don’t think you’re ready for that, bucko.” Jack replied in a mysterious way.

           “Is it that bad? Does nobody clean it or something?” Colin curiously inquired.

Jack replied in a manner that only heightened Colin’s curiosity. He said, “Look, boyo. There are things in life that the common man just ain’t ready for; things that might upset his natural life. You stay away from that room, bucko.”

Colin gave a respectful bow of his head and asked if there was anything else Jack needed him to do. Jack told him that he was a good worker and he was glad he was hired. Jack, then, sent him home. Colin rode his bike through the darkness, pondering what Jack had said. The more he thought about it, the more curious he got. Not being one to push an issue, he decided to put it in the back of his mind and not bring it up again… for a little while at least.

Days, weeks, and months went by, and Colin continued the same routine, seeing the same customers, and hearing the same conversations. He didn’t mind it. The simplicity of it all was quite peaceful. He had gotten several paintings done and was well on his way to filling another box of pictures. Five cold months blew by and it was one of Ireland’s most cherished holidays. St. Patrick’s Day was finally there. On his way to work that day, Colin wondered if he’d finally see some new people, maybe some tourists, at the bar. He briefly wondered if any pretty ladies would find their way to the small town for a drink, but then quickly dismissed the idea from his mind. When he pulled up to the bar, Jack was cleaning the windows as best as he could. Colin asked him where he should start, but Jack simply told him to carry on with his normal duties. A few hours into his shift and Colin noticed that there hadn’t been a single customer that day. This really puzzled him since St. Patty’s Day is supposed to be the biggest money-making day of the year for bars.

“How else does Jack afford that nice car? The bar doesn’t make enough to pay him much. He must have family money or something.” he thought to himself.

“Jack, is it always like this on St. Patty’s Day?”

“Not to worry, bucko. Today is mostly about cleaning. We may get a customer or two, but most of the regular yokes that come in here have gone to one of the cities to visit their families. Why didn’t you go?”

“I don’t have anyone to go see. When I was a little tyke, my father went into the basement one day, and we never saw him again. No one knows where he went and his body was never found. The whole situation was really mystical-like. My ma married some Indian mog a few years ago. They moved to Mumbai a year ago.” Colin saw the pity on Jacks face, but, before he could say anything, he continued so as to avoid any awkwardness. “It’s okay, though. At least I have you to talk to.”

“That’s right, bucko. As long as you’re cleaning, you can talk to me all you want.” Jack replied comically.

They shared a laugh and talked through the rest of the shift. No customers walked through the door that day, but Colin knew he was going to be paid, so he wasn’t worried about it. He did wonder, though, about Jack’s mysterious financial situation. At the end of the shift, Colin walked around the bar and picked up the strange key. Jack looked up at him with a face full of concern.

“You want me to check that room for you, Jack?”

“I still don’t think you’re ready for that. Go ahead and go home.” Jack responded with a smile.

Colin set the key down and offered to wait for Jack so they could leave together like they always did. Jack insisted against it and sent him home. Colin went out the door, but he just couldn’t understand why Jack was being so strange. He let his curiosity get the better of him and decided to peddle down the street a bit and wait. Two hours went by and no sign of Jack. Colin curiously rode back up to the bar. He looked in the window. All the lights inside were off except one above the bar. No noise could be heard, and Colin couldn’t see Jack anywhere. Colin began to assume that maybe Jack was just drunk and passed out behind the bar, or maybe he walked home after a few drinks. Just as Colin was about to turn to walk away and go home, a bright golden light showed in the hallway. He saw that old weathered door with the strange handle swing open. Happy, vibrant music blared from inside the room and cheering and laughing could be heard, and what looked like glitter was swirling from within. Jack emerged carrying a tray of empty mugs. He was smiling from ear to ear, and laughing in a tone that Colin had never heard from him before. Colin watched Jack fill the mugs with a stout and carry the tray back through the door. When he closed the door, nothing was left in the bar but darkness; no music or laughter. Colin decided that maybe Jack had decided to have a private party, and rode his bike home in complete curiosity.

The next day, Colin showed up to work as usual, expecting Jack to say something about the night before. Jack carried on the normal small talk, but made no mention of the ordeal. Colin made it up in his mind that he would ask the following St. Patty’s Day.

A year of the same customers and conversations went by, and Colin had filled a couple more picture boxes. He’d learned how to pour drinks, and how to carry them on a tray through the bar without spilling them. He was excited, though, because it was St. Patty’s Day again, and he might get some answers to what’s been on his mind all year. He went to the bar and found Jack, yet again, doing his yearly window cleaning. Before he went in to start his normal work, he decided to jump into the question.

“Gonna have another party tonight, Jack?”

Jack’s face cringed before he shot a look of fright and surprise at Colin. “What do you mean, bucko?”

Colin explained how he’d watched him last year, and what he saw. Jack’s face displayed utter concern as he listened. His mind began racing with lies he could spin so that Colin wouldn’t inquire further.

“Can you keep a secret, lad? Can you keep a secret for the rest of your life?”

“I don’t talk to anyone but you, Jack.”

“If you think you’re ready, stay after closing tonight.” Jack said mysteriously.

Colin’s face lit up with excitement. He dashed inside and got to work doing his normal cleaning chores. At closing time, he could hardly bear it anymore. He had to know what all the secrecy was about. Jack approached him and signaled for Colin to follow him. Jack went and picked up the Celtic knot key and held it in front of Colin’s face.

“What you are about to see can never leave this bar, and can never be discussed on a day other than St. Patty’s Day. This is the agreement we have with them.”

“With… Who?” Colin curiously asked.

Jack handed Colin the key and gestured him to unlock the door. With heavy steps, Colin walked to the door and put the key in the keyhole. He looked at Jack, who gazed back at him in excitement. As Colin turned the key, he could see a bright light shining on the door jam. Amazement and wonder set in as the magical moment took his breath away. He readied himself as best as he could, and slowly turned the doorknob. The door cracked open and he heard a large crowd shout “Hooray!”

He nearly passed out from what he saw, but composed himself enough to take in what he was looking at. There in front of him was a huge room full of tiny red-haired men with red beards, all of them dressed in green suits with green suspenders. They all stared at him with a look of utter concern.

Jack popped his smiling face around the doorway and exclaimed, “This is Colin. He’ll be helping me from now on.” Cheers and chants began again and loud Irish folk music began to echo through the bar. A rainbow stretched across the room. Golden glitter fell from the ceiling, and laughter and joy filled the space. Jack and Colin brought hundreds of stouts to the dozen or so little men in that room. They talked to him about their lives and shared toasts with him. Colin thought he might have been dreaming a few times, but each time realized that he wasn’t. Jack told him to calm down and enjoy the party, so, trusting his friend, Colin did just that. He had a few drinks while working and enjoyed all the music and conversation. After several hours, one of the happy little men retrieved handfuls of coins from a pot sitting at the end of the rainbow and handed Jack and Colin twenty gold coins each. It was the man who had hired him a year ago. Colin’s eyes opened wide at the fortune he’d just been handed and thanked the Mr. McElroy, who simply responded with a smile “See you again next year, boyo.”

Many years and St. Patrick’s Days passed when a new face appeared from the front door of the bar. Colin, leaning against the register behind the bar said, “You must be the new guy. I’m Colin. I’m glad Mr. McElroy finally hired someone. The last guy passed away about a year ago.” Colin showed the new guy to his chores and let him work.

At the end of the day, the new guy was finishing up when he found the strange key and held it up in curiosity. Colin smiled softly, remembering the man that had been his best friend for years, and replied, “I don’t think you’re ready for that, bucko.”