Perdita

I am the daughter of Satan. Well, technically, I am one of several hundreds of daughters of Satan. For as far back as I can remember, my mother, Rose Marie (Satan has a remarkable sense of humor when picking his mates as I was Rose Marie's baby), told me my father had fallen in a war. Bless her soul.

I did not find out about my lineage until two nights ago when I was awoken around 3 AM by the doorbell. Typically, I would have called the police, but when I peered out the window, the man that stood outside the door wore a pink polo shirt, khakis, and boat shoes, which seemed unassuming enough to crack open the door.

"May I help you?" I asked.

The man grinned and slightly bowed his head, "Greetings. I hate to bother you at such a late hour. You are Ms. Paradise Perdita, I assume?"

"Yes. Do I know you?"

"No. I am Joel Mammon. My employer, your father, has asked me to come here with a proposal."

"My dad is dead," I interrupted.

Mr. Mammon snickered and continued, "Your father is a politician in Mesa, Arizona."

He began to reach into his satchel, and unsure of what he would pull out, I braced the ball of my foot against the door, prepared to slam it shut should the need arise. From the bag, a manila envelope appeared, which he extended through the crevice of the door. Inside, I found a one-way ticket on Frontier Airlines to the Phoenix-Mesa Gateway Airport for the following morning. 

"A car service will be waiting for you when you arrive."

"And where am I supposed to stay?"

"Your father's estate always has available rooms."

"Why the Hell would I get on a plane from Denver to Arizona in the middle of summer?"

"Your father will give you the details, but in short, an inheritance beyond your wildest dreams depends on your completing a task for him and proving your lineage."

Mr. Mammon began to turn and walk away.

"Wait, what is my father's name?"

Before disappearing into the dark, Mr. Mammon said, "Lou."

It did not take long to find a politician named "Lou" in Mesa, Arizona. Lou Iblis was the City Manager of Mesa, hardly the high-ranking official that would have accumulated wealth through his occupation. There was not much other information available on Lou Iblis, so I spent the remaining hours until morning contemplating whether I should make the trip. The timing of Mr. Mammon's visit was auspicious, as the company I was working for had recently terminated my Accounting role. In the end, greed and curiosity got the best of me, and I found myself boarding a plane to Arizona with only a carry-on of clothing later that morning.

Just as Mr. Mammon promised, a man in all black holding a sign with my name written on it awaited me. My only visit to Arizona occurred twenty-three years ago with my mother when I was five, but I have no recollection of why we were there or for how long. For thirty minutes, I rode in silence, my chauffeur speaking only

once during the trip to ask if I was comfortable. When we pulled into the Pan' De Monium Country Club's roundabout, the driver spoke again.

"I hope my driving has pleased you, Ms. Iblis."

"It's Perdita. And, yes, you're driving was fine, thanks."

I stepped out of the car to find Mr. Mammon exiting the building. He glared at the chauffeur, and then his eyes softened as he looked at me and said, "I trust the driving pleased you."

"Yeah, I guess."

"You may leave your bag. Belial will see it to your room."

He glared at the driver again, who was now staring at the ground, and then gestured with his arm out for me to walk toward a parked golf cart a few yards away. I hopped on, joined by Mr. Mammon, and then we headed down the golf course cart path. In the middle of the ninth hole, we stopped next to two other carts. I recognized Lou Iblis standing next to a small, portly redheaded man while a tall, skinny blonde swung his iron. After the redhead took his swing, the three made their way to where Mr. Mammon I stood.

"Mr. Iblis," Mr. Mammon bowed his head and opened his palm toward me, "your daughter, Paradise."

Lou stared at me, saying nothing. He was a good looking man with a charismatic smile if it had not been for his almost serpent-like eyes. After seven or eight seconds, he broke the silence.

"You have your mother's face, but my eyes. How is Rose Marie?"

"She died two years ago. Cancer."

"I am so sorry. I didn't hear about that."

"Did you two keep in touch?"

Lou chuckled and said, "No, she felt betrayed by me when she found out she was pregnant. We've only seen each other once since you were born."

The tall blonde sniffled, and Lou turned his head slightly in his direction.

"My apologies, these are my associates," Lou extended his palm to his left at the blonde and said, "this is Beelzebub." Gesturing to his right at the redhead, he continued, "And this is Moloch."

Having almost flunked out of my Literature class in college, I only vaguely remembered the names but could not recall which story. I assumed he was testing my literary knowledge, so I pretended to catch the association.

"Funny," I said.

Lou smirked and resumed, "Let's go to my office to discuss my offer."

He started toward his cart, leaving the other three men standing in place. Once he was seated, Lou patted the seat next to him.

"Hop in."

"Do you want to finish your round first?" I asked.

"We usually stick to just the front nine."

Halfway down the path back to the clubhouse, Lou stopped the cart. He stared at me again with the same smile he gave me upon meeting.

"You don't know who I am, do you?"

"Lou Iblis, City Manager for Mesa. I did a little research," I said.

"Yes, Lou," the corners of his lips spread wide across his face, "as in short for Lucifer. I am also known as Mephistopheles, Fallen Star, Ash-Shaitan?"

It was not sinking in with me, and the expression on my face must have given me away because he resumed but more bluntly.

Lou put his index fingers above his head and said, "Satan? The Devil?"

Not buying into it, I replied, "Ok, Mr. Devil, can you tell me why you've brought me here?"

He said nothing the rest of the way, his brow furrowed, and his nostrils flared. When we reached the clubhouse and walked toward the doors, he paused.

"Open the doors," he said, his facial muscles had relaxed again.

When I opened the doors, a whirlpool of fire whipped across the endless walls. Where the fire had touched were now hundreds of screaming, naked bodies; all of their eyes blacked out. I slammed the door in front of me and looked back at Lou, my mouth open and legs trembling.

"Open it again," Lou said.

"No."

"Just open it; it'll be fine."

I gradually pushed open the doors again but kept my eyes closed. When I did not hear the screams, I squinted out of my left eye and saw the room looked like any other clubhouse lobby. Confused, I closed the doors again and turned to Lou.

"Believe me now?"

"I thought you were supposed to live in Hell or something."

Lou spread his arms wide and said, "Look around."

He walked past me and into the clubhouse. I followed, my legs still shaking, waiting for the room to transform back into the nightmare I had witnessed. As we made our way toward a golden door at the end of the room, the staff went about their duties, none of them making eye contact with us, but I could see that their eyes were black like the ones I saw earlier. Lou approached the golden door and walked in, never looking back to see if I was still behind him.

The doors opened up to a massive room, empty except for a desk at the far end. From somewhere unseen, the sound of Justin Bieber singing "Baby" reverberated through the room. My left eyebrow perked up as I searched the room for the source of the music.

"One of your brothers," Lou said, pointing up to the ceiling, "you don't even want to know what that guy did to claim his inheritance."

Lou sat behind the desk, picked up another manila envelope, and kicked his white golf shoes up. 

"Here," he said, extending the envelope. "All I'm asking is for you to kill the person in there."

"What? Nuh-uh, I can't do that, I'm out," I said, surprised at how nonchalant the words came out of his mouth.

"His soul already belongs to me," Lou said, "you just need to release it for me."

"Isn't Death responsible for that?"

Lou began to laugh and shook his head, "Heavens no. I love the kid, but we don't let that weirdo out of the gates anymore. We have a demon that typically does it, but he's hunting in Montana."

Confident I was not going through with the task but curious, I opened the envelope to look at the contents. Inside was another plane ticket, this time to LAX for tomorrow morning, an all-access pass to Kanye West's album release party for "Yeezus Christ Superstar," an iPhone, and a picture of Kanye West. My eyebrows drew together, and my nose scrunched as I glared at the items.

"Are you familiar with him?" Lou asked.

"Yes. Why the phone?"

"Everything's digital these days. You don't even have to shoot the guy or anything, just snap a picture with that phone and upload it to the bookmarked site."

"And that kills him?"

"And that kills him," Lou confirmed.

I stood there, contemplating whether I could or wanted to go through with it. Kanye was nothing short of annoying, but I was pretty sure I did not want to kill him. As if reading my thoughts, Lou chimed in.

"We never talked about your inheritance," Lou said, pausing to meet my gaze as I looked up. "If you go through with this, it confirms for me that we're family. In return, you will inherit free-will and be self-begot."

"And that means?"

"Paradise, are you familiar with the capital vices?"

I considered saying "yes" to save myself from the embarrassment but decided humility was best.

"Remind me," I said.

"Pride, gluttony, envy, greed, wrath, lust, and sloth. Do this for me, and all of these are yours whenever you desire them."

"Let me guess, in return, you get my soul?"

Lou began laughing, "God damned your soul the day you were born. The best you can do is enjoy yourself while you're alive." Lou's eye grew large, and he took his feet off his desk as he leaned forward and said, "I almost forgot one of the most important parts, you'll live forever!"

That was last night. I took the plane ride this morning with the assumption that I would decide by the time I landed, but it has not been that simple. So here I am, at the album release party, iPhone in hand.