The breakup

CW: emotional abuse and mentions of physical abuse

“Don’t test me Arlow, I  don’t want this from you.”

“It doesn’t matter Jude, please, calm down.”

“NO! You just want to hurt me, you don’t care about me at all!”

“That isn’t true, I do care about you, I’ve always cared about you, babe, that’s why-”

“Shut up! You hate me, I know that you hate me!”

“Stop it, that hurts. Don’t hit me… I don’t want to do this, I really don’t but this isn’t good for us!”

“You can’t say that, our relationship is the only good thing in my life, it’s the only thing I have. Without it I’m nothing.”

“Jude, you aren’t nothing, calm down, stop that. Sit down. Breathe.” 

“No! I can’t! You want me to hurt myself!”

“I don’t. I never do”

“You do, you always have, I have to hurt myself to stop you from hurting me!”

“Stop it, no, you don’t. This is why I think we need a break. We aren’t good for each other.”

“You stop it! If you want to break up, then you hate me! And I can’t stand it!”

“You’re gonna give yourself a concussion, please Juju, just listen to me.”

“I am listening but I don’t like it! I don’t deserve this Arlow.”

“No… no you don’t. But it has to be done.”

“If I don’t deserve it then why are you doing it to me! I really don’t deserve this, I’ve been a good boyfriend, haven’t I? I thought you loved me.”

“Look, It’s not something that I wanted to do, I really just need a break okay? I need to focus on myself. I need to be able to think about some things.”

“You need to think? About what! What kind of things could you possibly need to think about? Stuff you can’t think about with me? Why do you need to be alone?”

“I… I don’t know-”

“You’re being selfish, Arlow, I thought you were the love of my life, I need you, more than anyone else in the whole world. I’ve done so much for you and this… this is how you repay me?”

“You’re right. I- I am selfish. I feel stuck.”

“You shouldn’t feel stuck with me, Arlow, I’m just me. I’m not someone you should feel stuck with, but if you think you need to, then maybe you should just leave!”

“Be careful Jude! You could hurt someone if you keep throwing things!”

“I want to hurt you!”

“You do?”

“I want to hurt you like you hurt me!”

“But I didn’t hurt you on purpose.”

“Yes you did, you knew that breaking up would hurt me! You know it would make my life hell!”

“I can’t do this now Jude. I really just need to go.”

_____________________________________

“Arlow, you look like you got into a fight.”

“I did… sort of. I broke up with Jude and he threw a fit.”

“Jude? He’s like 50 pounds smaller than you, there’s no way he could have done that to you.”

“”He’s feisty, Heidi.”

“I don’t believe it, what did you do to him to make him do that to you?”

“Heidi, I’m not going to go on a rampage for something like this. I’ve never been violent.”

“Oh, I know, you used to get walked all over in high school, even though you could have kicked anyone's ass”

“But I don’t want to kick anyone’s ass, never really have.”

“Alright, well if he really beat you up so bad and you didn’t kick his ass back, you need to go try.”

“But I’m bigger than him, a lot bigger.It wouldn’t be fair. I would really hurt him.”

“So? He’s kind of awful.”

“I don’t think he’s awful, and I don’t want to kick his ass, I just needed a break.”

“What did he do by the way? Don’t answer that, I know there are a bunch of things, what was the straw that broke the camel's back?”

“I was never able to do anything. He  would start yelling if I had plans without him. But he didn’t actually like any of my friends. So I guess I ended up never going out.”

“He hated me too, you’re own sister. Do you want a drink? I’m gonna get you some ale, you probably need it.”

“I probably do, I felt so isolated, but at the same time I felt so bad anytime I would go out, anytime I would upset him.”

“Why? I mean why does it make you feel bad?”

“I mean he just gets so upset, he starts crying whenever I go out for the night. He will yell at me if I get home later than he likes. He always questions me about what happens. I don’t know, maybe I’m ungrateful, maybe I was a bad boyfriend and am being selfish.”

“Arlow, dude, I’ve had a ton of boyfriends and what I can tell you, I wouldn’t put up with any of that shit, especially his little temper tantrums. If he doesn’t like your friends, too bad. They were there before Jude. Especially your family, me. If your next boyfriend doesn’t let you talk to me, you drop them like a hot potato.”

“Like… a hot potato?”

“I’m not good with analogies, Arlow!”

“Well, thank you Heidi. Do you suppose I could stay here a while?”

“You can stay here, but one more thing, if anyone ever bloodies your face up again, you have to hit back.”

“I can’t agree to that one, Heidi, if I’d have hit back he may have called the police.”

“So what? Let him.”

“I know he is  very good  at getting people to believe him.”

“Fine then, if you can’t hit back, just put up your guard and act like you will, intimidate them.”

“And when the police get called anyway?”

“You make a run for it, you dumbass, get outta there.”

“You give the most interesting drunk advice, sister, but I don’t know what I would do without you.”