The Ears Have It

Janet was determined to have a relaxing cup of tea while sorting through the mail. She made it a point to toss, file, or place the mail in a created “response needed” folder. The practice kept the paper tiger (clutter) at bay; manageable instead of having piles of paper everywhere. She cringed to think that only a year ago that was the image that greeted her when she walked into her house. The weekend was just starting – aah. Pure happiness. Her favorite pizza was in the oven and there would be just enough time to sort through the mail and pour herself a nice cuppa then the food would be ready to eat. She had embraced the minimalist lifestyle for almost nine months and had noticed a real difference in her ability to relax and stay calm; but also, how she related to stressful situations that arose. It was worth continuing the practice. A bit of a packrat at heart, it was sometimes a constant struggle. Her inner voice would proclaim.

    “But I might need that one day.”

To combat the voice, she picked up each item in the house, one at a time. If the item brought joy, it stayed.  This practice kept both the packrat self and the organized self, happy.  Today she tackled the pile of mail.  Junk mail mostly, then panic as Janet opened a letter from the library and read:

“This is to inform you that the Midnight Library by Matt Haig is overdue and needs to be returned before anymore books can be checked out. Thank you. 

Sincerely,

Mrs. Walters

Director.”

Impossible, she thought. Janet always made a point of returning her books early. So much for a restful weekend. She would turn the house and her car upside down if necessary, but she would locate the book if it were anywhere around. That night was not a restful one. She tossed and turned and woke several times. Janet couldn’t even enjoy her morning coffee and toast routine that she established long ago. 

With a determined word to herself she began the search that would take her well into the afternoon, only stopping for a cup of tea mid-morning and ham sandwich with radish slices and crisps for lunch. Out of the corner of her eye she spotted a book that was underneath a table in her bedroom. Yes, Bedford Library was stamped inside the cover. Relief and horror flooded her at the same time. One look at her companion Muffin and she knew what happened. Her ungraceful but lovable, giant brown and black cat loved to sleep on top of the dresser in Janet’s room. Anything lying on the surface was batted onto the floor. Aha! 

No scolding, just a wave of relief that it was found. Janet then set to work developing a plan to return the book to the library without being noticed. The first action was to dye her hair. She chose a bright shade of Crimson. When it was set, she looked in the mirror and laughed; she didn’t even recognize herself.  Then she found a tattered and dusty coat and big old boots with holes in them (left over from the days when she had tried acting). The final piece of her disguise was a large khaki backpack left over from trail blazing days. 

Janet stepped outside the house on Sunday at 1:00 pm to return the book to the book drop. The people she knew would be busy with dinner so she could get there and back again without being noticed. As expected, no one was around. Phew, a big sigh of relief. The book had been returned. She decided there and then though – keep better track of her library books so she didn’t have to go through that again. What a nerve-racking weekend! She would give herself a weekend off the following week since she had to put everything back in order after finding the library book. On a positive note, she had sorted some things and removed them from her life. Easier to clean in the future too. One of her favorite necklaces (a gift from her father when she graduated high school) showed up just underneath the dresser. She looked at Muffin and shook her head before putting the chain around her neck. Finding the object pleased her.

At the end of the following week Janet looked at her bookshelf but no books sparked her interest. There was only one thing to do – return to the library, face the consequences of the overdue book, make amends, and select another book to delve into. Another disguise this time. Orange hair, full body shaper, leggings, short leather skirt, several metal chains, and long black boots. Her usual attire was track suit and gym shoes. Dark sunglasses completed her ensemble. Janet then walked very quietly into the small neighborhood library, hoping not to be noticed.

Immediately, the head clerk, Joan, said.

“Hello Janet, I almost didn’t recognize you. Thanks for returning the book.” 

Sheepishly Janet blushed and reached for her wallet ready to pay an exorbitant fine. Joan said.

“Oh, don’t worry, we don’t charge fines anymore, we’re just glad to have the book back.”

A bewildered Janet looked at her, nodded, went to the second floor, and selected a new mystery (her favorite genre) and returned to the circulation desk on the first floor to check her book out.

“How did you know it was me?” Janet asked.

“Oh, that’s easy. It was year earlobes. You see, everyone’s ears are shaped just a little bit differently. I have memorized every person who comes in by looking at their earlobes – haven’t forgotten a patron yet.”

“Amazing.” Janet thought to herself that girl knows a lot.

On the way home Janet gave herself a talking to. All that fretting and stress and for no reason, not to mention that horrible smelling dye. Oh well, it was a learning experience. She would never have to change her looks to “sneak” into the library again. When she got home, she went upstairs to change out of her strange outfit and noticed that Muffin had knocked her jewelry case onto the floor. It hadn’t gone under the table, yet. 

“Nothing changes huh kit?” said Janet and gave her trusted companion a stroke on the head.  Then she poured herself a cup of tea from the thermos she had prepared and settled down to enjoy a nice read. No sooner had she sat down in her comfortable lounge chair when a furry creature with a loud purr occupied her lap, kneaded the human for a few minutes and settled down for a long afternoon nap. Janet smiled. Life was good.