15 Minutes

The alarm rang.

‘Ugh……another Monday!’ said Edgar as he snoozed the alarm and tried to go back to sleep. He flipped to the other side, pulled the blanket over him and hugged the pillow to get some more sleep.

‘Shit! I have to give the presentation today…’ he realized abruptly as he swiftly got off his bed and looked up the time on his phone. It showed 8.15 AM. ‘Oh well, no time to waste.’ He said as he started to get ready while constantly checking the messages and notifications on his phone.

·      Reminder: You’ve got a meeting today at 10 AM.

·      Whatsapp: You’ve got 10 new messages.

·      Instagram: Tristan York made a post recently. See what they are upto.

·      Don’t miss out these amazing deals on……

‘Oh wait… Did it say Tristan?’ Edgar commented as he tapped on the notification. He swiped through the images his colleague had been uploading about his vacation to Europe. ‘How lucky of him to have such a life; money, a loving wife and a caring family. What more can someone want?’ he grinned as he put his phone beside the sink.

He turned the tap on and began to wash his face. All he could think was how his life has been over the past few days; monotonous and frustrating. He felt like he has been too worked out. Whenever he closed his eyes, he could see himself going over and over the same daily routine and he couldn’t think about anything but work.

He felt like he was an unmanned ship, going to and fro in the ocean, carried away wherever the winds and waves lead him. He has had ups and downs in his life and has endured many storms but he still searched for the pleasing sight of the shore. He felt like he was marching towards the horizon seeking it but he knows there is no end to it. It would either eventually drown him.

‘How much worse can this life get?’ he tries to convince himself trying to repulse such thoughts away while searching for the towel. His hand brushed against his phone while trying to find the towel as his phone fell in the sink. ‘What a start to a day,’ he comments sarcastically while pulling the phone out of the sink and rushes to find a dry piece of cloth to dry his phone. All the while, he can’t stop thinking about his life at the back of his mind. He is also constantly reminded that he is getting late for work.

‘Please, work for God’s sake.’ he says tapping his phone trying to switch it on in frustration. To his delight, his phone does turn on but it starts to glitch occasionally. ‘No time for this.’ he says throwing it on the bed as he gets ready for work.

After making sure he is all set, he drives to work while constantly in the fear of being late, of how he will give the presentation, and of the different ways it could go. His mind was full of thoughts and he felt as if he was being a prisoner to them.

At times, he just wished he had a different life or that he could be at someone else’s position; Tristan’s for instance. ‘What kind of life is this?’ he said pressing the horn in frustration while being stuck in a traffic. Though he tried not to think about it, he would at times even think of how easy it would be if it all ended.

He reached his office and rushed to the elevator. He got inside, pressed the button, looked at his watch and closed his eyes to heave a sigh of relief. ‘Finally, on time.’

It was then that the lights went out.

The elevator came to a halt all of a sudden. ‘Damn’ he exclaimed while trying to balance himself. And then, there was complete silence.

For a moment, he felt like he was nowhere. The darkness made him lose the sense of his surroundings. All he knew was that he was alone, but something didn’t make him feel alone. He felt being with ‘himself’.

Then the emergency lights flashed in, turning his surroundings red. He came to his sense and took a moment to grasp everything. Fear constantly hovered around his mind now.

Was it the power loss or was it something wrong with this lift?

What if the electricity doesn’t come back in time?

What if something happens while they’re repairing this?

What if they don’t repair this on time?

What if ……

There were so many questions in his mind that time.

Getting anxious, he tried to call out for help. He pressed on the emergency button many times. He even tried shouting out loud but in vain. Finally, getting upset, he sat down and he checked his phone.

9.59 AM

He tried to see if he could call someone but he could barely get signal and his phone would stop working once in a while too.

The thought of getting late for the meeting also bothered him now.

It was then that he had a realization.

How senseless of me to still think about work while being in such a situation!? How ironical it is that I do the same thing every day regardless of the fact that I like it or not?

Do I not work like a machine, performing the same tasks again and again from Monday to Friday? But what different are the weekends too. Go to shopping, hangout with friends, watch TV, go to the club, get drunk… over and over………………

Do I really have a purpose in my life?

Assuming that I might die today, have I achieved something worthwhile in my life?

All these thoughts came into his mind one by one and then his eyes widened as he finally came on the conclusion.

Have I ever truly LIVED!??

His mind became thoughtless for a bit. He sat there, frozen. He could feel his heart beating, he could hear himself breathing and feel the air rushing in and out of his nose. But his mind stopped throwing thoughts and questions and arguments at him. For once, he was truly in synchrony with himself shutoff from any kind of influence from the world outside.

True knowledge exists in knowing that you know nothing. This might have been the first time Edgar came to know why.

Am I REALLY happy?

He sat there; doing nothing, thinking nothing. Then after a while, his mind began to slowly think and try to figure out the answer.

Well, I could say that I am happy with my job and earn enough and I couldn’t ever imagine doing something else. Yeah, I have had dreams to become something else but who doesn’t. Plus, I don’t think I have the skill sets which make me suitable for any job but this. I earn enough to afford everything I want. So, I am happy.

This made him realize that he might not have been happy with his life until now but he could have been way worse or he could have been way better. The only thing that mattered is that he was alive and that he was in fact doing well enough.

At that point, he decided that he will look at things with a different perspective now. He could feel the constant thirst for material pleasures, fame, luxuries inside him slowly fade. However, this also came at the price of being constantly moving towards his death. For all he knew, this might be the last few moments of his life.

He wondered if this is how it is meant to be. To find solace and peace in the final moments of one’s life, when we have been constantly searching for it our whole life.

He then remembered all the different memories of his life, which were dear to him; the good ones, the bad ones, the ones that made him cry and the ones that made him dance around happily. He couldn’t help but smile and remember everyone who had been nice to him and helped him in one way or the other and suddenly felt a need to thank them. But he couldn’t think of a way he could.

I should have lived differently. But of course, life doesn’t work this way, does it?

With this thought, he took out his phone and began to swipe through images of his family and friends. With each pic came the memory associated with it. He remembered all the happy and sad moments of his life as his eyes glanced across the screen. He smiled and his eyes got watery as he saw people close to him for maybe the last time. If only there was a way by which he could tell them how much he cared, how much he loved them and how grateful he was to have them in his life.

He started to feel nauseated and his breath became heavy. He could feel his heart beating, getting slower and milder with each beat and his vision started to get blurry.

This is it now?

He told himself wishing that he had got a second chance.

He thought of how he could have lived differently, of how he would have been a changed person and of how he could have made a difference. But it was in vain now. Or it wasn’t?

Still hoping for a miracle to happen, he put his phone down and closed his eyes.

I’ll die in peace at least.

He could feel his limbs going numb and his senses getting weaker.

He felt being in complete darkness again.

Is this what it means to die? Being alone, in darkness, for eternity?

But then, he heard a sound and the lights came on. The elevator seemed to have come to life and so did he. He tried to open his eyes as he felt the lift move. When he was halfway through opening his eyes, the elevator came to a stop on a floor and the door opened.

He was dazzled by the light and he put a hand forward to block the light while he tried to grasp what was happening.

I AM ALIVE!!!

He felt delighted and grateful to have got another chance.

‘Hey Edgar, you alright!?’ spoke a familiar voice. Edgar removed his hand from his sight and saw Tristan with his hand extended. ‘Thank God you are alright,’ he said grasping Edgar’s hand and helping him get up.

Edgar smiled and stood up with his support as they got out of the lift and started to walk towards their office. ‘Thank you.’ He said smiling at Tristan.

‘Thank me after you’ve given the presentation.’  

Surprised, Edgar asked ‘Wait, how long was I gone for?’

‘Well, I’d say 15 mins max.’

Edgar stopped walking. ‘Really?’ he said looking at his watch and the time was 10.15 AM.

Surprising! It felt like a lifetime. If not that long, then an hour atleast.

He looked back at the elevator, gazing in awe and then went on to give his presentation.