Beauties and Brains

The floating head in the punch bowl was what first alerted me that something was wrong. The first tip-off should’ve been my friends and classmates going into a blind rage and biting each other’s faces off, but the hors d'oeuvres table was blocking the entryway. Cowering underneath it was Maddison Carver. The queen of Spring formal. After snatching a cup of pretzels that were a perfect golden brown I squat down beside her. 

I’ll be honest, seeing miss perfect with mascara tears ruining her cakey face gave me a bit of joy for a moment. It’s no secret she wasn’t the kindest ruler in the gymnasium, but she did hand out those delicious cupcakes last week that said “Vote Mads!” which got her my vote. I crawl under the table beside her. “Maddie, what’s good?” I say around the pretzel in my mouth. She’s breathing heavy, muttering what I think is a prayer under her breath. She had a cake pop stuck in her auburn curls that I quickly claimed as my own. 

“Little rough in here, huh?” I observe my math teacher nibble on the arm of a lifeless soccer captain in the corner. Madison coughs in response. I turn to look as thick black sludge starts to pour out of her mouth. ‘That would be my cue’ I think as she passes out. I can see the bite mark on the inside of her arm as she goes down. 

I throw the rest of my pretzels and cake pop into the garbage on my way towards the front doors, just enough time to see a few staggering zombies wander to the glass, trying to get out. Guess it’s through the gym or nothin’. 

This was supposed to be junior Spring Formal for me, but I guess the apocalypse decided to drop in instead. Honestly, more exciting anyway. I stay in the doorway as a couple more of my classmates get their arms and legs chewed on. That’s what they get for not participating in gym class. Myself, on the other hand, ran the mile twice and dabbled in a bit of karate. I even was the last out in dodgeball once. I think that’s what’s really going to give me an edge. Thank God for public education, am I right?

 Looking around I find a bat in the closet on my end of the gym and plant it into the skull of my undead Math teacher Mr. Mackenzie when he gets a bit too close for comfort. 

‘This has been coming for a while’ I think crossing the gym. Sabrina Thomson, the head of the yearbook committee rushes at me. I crack her shoulder, sending her staggering back before jutting at me again. Man, she was cool, I liked her. Nice but kind of quiet. 

I wonder if Mom knows how to get brains out of silk? 

Not wanting to waste more time I hustle to the other side of the gym and out the doors, ready to take on the cafeteria. “Mae!” A voice shouts from the other end of the room. “Carter!” I wave to my friend with the bat in my hand, stopping to swing as the photographer runs at me. He hits the ground and skids until almost getting to the set for Spring Formal pictures. Back where he belongs.

“What’s going on? You didn’t text me you were here,” I make my way closer and laugh when I see what she’s using to defend herself. “Where did you get a skillet?” “Kitchen,” She says whacking the volleyball coach in the head. She’s surrounded by a few too many, I rush to meet her just barely getting the end of my bat through the head of Mr. Schmitt, the Vice-principal before he bites her. We take a second to catch our breath before high-fiving. 

“Come on,” she says huffing, “Let’s get to the theatre, It should’ve been locked,” 

“Wait,” I grab her arm before she can take off “What happened, like when did this start?” She shrugs “I don’t know I didn’t plan-” She stops mid-sentence, eyes going wide. “Carter... did you start the zombie apocalypse?” Her mouth snaps shut then opens again.

“Not on purpose,” 

“Caaaarrter!” I whine and stomp my foot like a child. “You couldn’t have waited until after we got photos done? Mom already paid for them!” 

“Listen, I didn’t know okay! I’m sorry! When I made this...thing, virus, whatever I didn’t think it would get this bad.” 

“What did you expect!” my arms fall to my sides. Of course, she didn’t think. Straight A student and she doesn’t think sneaking a zombie virus into Spring Formal might be a bad idea. I thought she was joking yesterday in chem. But no. “I thought you said you were going to test it on your mom’s boyfriend,” I say.

“I did... and it worked,” 

“Obviously.” 

“Look I have the antidote still, I was just going to give some to Madison and then switch her back but then Emma, from the cheer squad, she stepped on my dress on the way in and blamed it on me. So I mixed the virus in a drink and gave it to her as a truce or whatever and-” 

“And she bit someone who bit someone else who passed it around like a bad case of mono at a...well a junior dance.” 

“Yeah…behind you,” I turn and smack Zoey Delane right between the eyes a couple of times before she goes limp. “Ethical question,” I ask “Your planning on trying to turn some of them back right?” 

“If that would prevent a full-blown outbreak outside of school then yes, probably should,”

“Are we going to get charged with murder for, uh…” I point to Zoey on the floor. Carter pauses on it for a minute. “Cross that bridge when we get to it,” 

“Let’s just get to the theatre,” She says tugging on my arm again. “Fine, I’m in front.” I move to lead in front of her, feeling safer with a bat than her with a frying pan. “How does this antidote work? Are we going to have to bottle feed these freaks or what?” I ask scanning left and right for anyone. “When I tested it out on Toby when it hit his skin it like...sizzled and bubbled for a minute and he went back to normal...well normal for him,”

 “I thought you’re Mom’s boyfriend’s name was Keith or Koda or something,” 

“Last week it was,” She mutters “Then Kade got arrested for kidnapping a goat for some ritual thing and mom just wasn’t into it.” 

“That’s rough,” “Yeah,” She turns just in time as a janitor comes out of nowhere, he pushes her down to the floor and I hit him in the back of his balding skull. That just makes him mad. He gets off Carter and comes at me I whack him again but he’s too tall for me to get a good hit. I grab Carter and we haul it down the hall, headed for the backstage area of the theatre. 

“Where’s that antidote?” I ask taking my shoes off and chucking them at the monster barreling towards us. He growls and keeps coming, we run faster. Carter digs around in her purse before taking out a perfume bottle. “Body spray?” I ask she nods and stops running, waiting for the janitor to get closer. She spritzes him a few times but he doesn’t let up, grabbing my friend by the shoulders. “Carter!” I repeatedly hit him in the back of the head until he collapses on the ground. Carter scrambles up and looks down at him. “Look,” She says pointing. I see what she means. His skin that had begun to rot is closing up and healing. “I think he’s just unconscious,” I nod thinking about the years in jail I’ll already be serving once we get this cleaned up. 

“Okay, new plan,” I say taking the spray bottle from her, “We need to get this into there,” I point at the pipes leading to the fire sprinklers. “I have no idea how to do that, or where it would even-” The groan beside us makes us jump. The Janitor curses and groans. Carter and I glance at each other before I nudge him with my foot. “Mr. Janitor sir...you good?” I ask. He groggily looks up at the two of us. 

“Hi,” Carter waves and smiles. “Sorry to bother you, um, do you happen to know where the water in the sprinkler system comes from...better yet how we can get to it?” The Janitors face contours and he lets out a sneeze before looking like he fully comes to. “What?” He groans. 

After some convincing and a quick trip back to the cafeteria the Janitor believes our Zombie apocalypse story and promptly freaks out. “How is this even...how did you…” He’s shaking his head flabbergasted at us when we get back to the theatre. “Look,” I say matter of fact, trying to just get to the chase already. “It doesn’t matter, we just need to be able to spray down all of those people with this,” I hold up the perfume bottle, “We thought the sprinkler system would be the quickest way to do that, so do you know where we can get this stuff in the pipes and then activate the sprinkler system?” He rubs the back of his head, where I’m sure he had noticed a lump forming. 

“Look, kid, the water in the sprinkler system comes from the city water, you would have to get it into the city water plant if you’re going to go that far,” Carter and I look at each other. “That’s a little bit of a stretch in such short notice,” She mentions. “Yeah and I think we’re still banned,”

 “You’re what?” The janitor asks.

 “Nothing, hey, what about a hose or something. It would just be way too tedious to spay everyone one by one, ya know?” 

“Yeah, yeah...um,” He thinks for a moment then nods. “Yeah, I have an idea,” He gets up and starts to leave. Carter and I trail behind, speedwalking to catch up. He takes us to the janitor’s closet down the hall and flicks a switch on. “Wait here,” We wait. 

A lot of rummaging and a few more curse words later he comes out with a vacuum hose thing. “What’s that?” I ask. He hands me the hose “Power washer, used it to clean the outside of the building last year...you might need more of that stuff though,” 

“We can dilute it with water,” Carter says “It’s really potent,” 

“Are we sure that stuff lasts?” I ask.

“Yeah are we sure that stuff lasts?” the janitor asks with a little more demand in his voice.

Carter nods, “Oh yeah I already tested it,”

 “Okay, then let’s do this thing,” 

The Janitor helps us fill up the tank with water before Carter dumps in the antidote, saving a few drops just to be safe. When we turn the nozzle on its enough to make me take a step back from the force. “Here, you should wear these,” The janitor hands us each a pair of safety goggles. “You’re on your own here, I gotta figure out how I’m supposed to clean all that blood up,” He says shaking his head and heading back into the closet. We thank him and drag the washer to the doors of the gym where it seems like most of the rest of our undead classmates are gathered. When the Zombies hear us it’s like someone set off a gunshot and they all turn. I think I hear a record scratch. It takes them a second before they get up and start running towards us. Carter and I nod to each other before pulling our safety goggles on and starting the power washer.

It was kind of beautiful. I could almost see it in slow motion like a dance as our undead peers and teachers ran towards us only to be sprayed down with water so hard that they spun away like ballerinas. That might be a slight exaggeration. But once we got everyone soaked we walked around checking to make sure they were turning back.

Madison was the last one I checked. She gasps and grabs my arm, bolting upright. She stares at me wide-eyed for a minute. “Good morning,” I say with a nod, trying to pry my arm away from her. “What happened?” She’s shaking like a leaf from the water. Her makeup washed away. “Long story,” I say keeping it short. “You should call your parents and get home,” She huffs and stands up, using my arm for support. “Yeah right. I’m Spring queen, and I say that we are having Spring Formal,” She looks around her eyes wondering over the bodies on the ground. 

“You sure?” I ask when I see her eyes land on our Math teacher Carter was trying to bring back to life with her antidote. We stare another moment. Mr. Mackenzie gasps for air like a fish as the head wound I gave him earlier closes up. Carter nods to me and gives me a thumbs up. I breathe a sigh of relief. “I’m sure,” Madison says with a nod, she juts off, snapping her fingers in the direction of the DJ, demanding he starts the music again. 

“At least we won’t be looking at any murder charges,” Carter says “And on the bright side I think I found the key to immortality,” I link my arm through hers and smile “Congratulations, you made Spring Formal unforgettable.” She snorts and pulls out her phone, checking the time. “Yeah too bad it’s over now,” “Meh, there’s always next year,” We start making our way to the front doors. Carter spritzes a teacher we missed on the way. “You know, I think your mom might be able to get a refund on those pictures.” “Oh… I don’t care, I’ll tell her they were so bad I trashed them,” 

We both push on the doors to go out into the parking lot. 

“Would you look at that,” She says pointing to a car pulling up to the curb. “Toby actually remembered to pick me up, want a ride?” The car comes to a stop and I can see her mom’s boyfriend in the driver’s seat. Carter gives him a sarcastic little wave but then frowns. “Uh oh,” I take a closer look through the passenger’s side window as Toby turns slowly, his eyes blank. His skin is dry and ...yep...rotting off. We both glance at each other, then the school, then each other again. 

The window of the car rolls down slowly, “You gettin’ in or what?” The zombie asks. Carter’s features relax, “Okay good, I forgot he’s just really ugly. Okay, get in,” She says quietly ushering me to the back seat. We both slide in and take one last glance at the school building where Madison was most likely still trying to have a formal. “You know that was kind of fun,” I say. Carter shoots me a knowing look. “Prom next?” I nod “Yeah, Prom,”